10 Ways to Parent with an MCC (Mastery) Mindset

In the coaching industry, there's a common saying that goes “Never coach friends or family.”

And for good reason - it's actually unethical to have dual relationships with clients, just like it would for a therapist or a psychiatrist or a doctor to treat their spouse/sibling/relative.

HOWEVER.

At the core of coaching mastery is a level of presence, depth, curiosity, awareness, and BEING that cannot be separated from the human who is conducting the coaching.

If you are operating from and fully embodying a coaching mindset (Core Competency # 2) at elite levels, you are becoming a more curious, flexible, open, and others-focused (think, “humble” or service oriented) human. This is top of mind (heh) for me, because we're studying MCC-Level Embodying a Coaching Mindset this month in IGNITE Mastery.

You cannot help the breakthroughs that abound by operating from, practicing, and deepening that mindset.

I share this because that was exactly my experience.

Not only do I love coaching, my clients, and the coaching industry, but to my endless surprise (given my historic resistance to having kids), I have fallen in love with being a mom. It's my new favorite job.

Folks, I've become THAT parent!!!

I am floored by how much I enjoy being a mom to my wild, wonderful, bubbly, silly, smart, engaged son, Wesley. I lap up the moments I have with him. Even in the moments I don't like (holy cow does time move slower between 5 and 6pm), I try to be present to the joy it is to see life through a child's eyes. It's an incredible gift.

I've found the presence, surrender, patience, and trust in the process to be both REALLY F$%KING HARD, and also paradigm shifting for my coaching abilities.

Here are some of the lessons I've learned in being a Master Certified Coach and business owner (in a job and industry I adore), and being a present parent.

1) FLEXIBILITY. Always be adjusting. If you think you have a process or habit set, remember it might change. Bake in flexibility. Bake in extra time, space, and energy.

2) SET CLEAR AGREEMENTS, with self and others. Be ruthless about boundaries. I ask my husband for support and we plan out our roles as best as possible. I demand that my boss give my nights and weekends off - no excuses :). At 4:45, I close my computer and pick up my son from school. Whatever is done is enough.

3) HAVE A REFLECTIVE PRACTICE. Have "lifelines" to other parents who get you. REALLY get you. There are unicorn parents out there who have kids similar ages, understand you as a parent/human, and knows a few tips and tricks. Find them, keep them, connect with them, and ask them to help you fill in the gaps of what you know or don't know.

4) LESS IS MORE. As in, use a toy in 1,000 different ways on a car trip because you've run out of options and your kid is crying. Or, you have 30 minutes for a project that would've taken you 2 hours before. Ask one question, or set one rule and leave it at that. Trust yourself and your knowing.

5) ESTABLISH A PLAN. Have a plan. Trust the plan. Throw out the plan. Create a new plan. Have a partner in the plan. Let them plan. Stop planning.

6) OWN YOUR SH&T. Own when you're not at your best self. Practice stepping back, taking a breath, apologizing, getting on the level of your client or your child and look them in the eye, heart to heart. Practice taking full care of yourself (reflective practice, integrity, growth).

7) TRUST THE PROCESS. When my child is throwing a temper tantrum, I tell myself, “this is developmentally appropriate, and it would be weird if he wasn't doing this.” And this mindset I took on after a chat with another IGNITE coach. See #3 above :). Trust the process of coaching, trust the arc of the relationship, and always be stretching your coaching skills.

8) REGULATE YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM. This is sub competency 2.6, “Develops and maintains the ability to regulate one's emotions”. As a mom with a toddler tyrant who has epic tantrums, I try to remember that crying is a stress release. It's Wes's only outlet of frustration, and it's in his best interest to let it out of his system. It's my job to help him learn to navigate it and keep a loving, calm energy.

9) GO WHERE THE ENERGY FLOWS. Be the “Yes, and” in your coaching and parenting. MCC mindset acknowledges the agency of the client for their own choices. Being a present parent looks like understanding and supporting my child's advocacy for what he needs (past what he wants).

10) PRIORITIZE PRESENCE. Stop several times each day and take in the moment. If you're breathing, and your child is alive, then you are CRUSHING it. If you are present with your client, asking simple questions you don't know the answer to, supporting what's important, then you are CRUSHING IT.

YOU. ARE. CRUSHING. IT.

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With love and service,

Lisa