10 ways to make feedback fearless

10 ways to make feedback fearless

You can find a Top 10 list for just about anything: Top 10 best extended warranties. (No thanks.) Top 10 useless things you learned in school. (Just 10?!) Top 10 breakfast cereals of all time. (Hello, Wheaties!)

Guess what didn't make the list? Top 10 ways to make feedback fearless!

So, in the spirit of offering a feedback fix, here are ten ways to have those hard conversations and get the results and relationships you want.

1. Hold the mirror

“Mirror holding” is a dramatic shift in the tone and trajectory of feedback conversations. Instead of telling people what to see, show them where to look. The best leaders I’ve worked with don’t force a change. They provoke an insight. They treat feedback as an opportunity to expand the view of others, not enlarge their own.

2. Look forward

Good feedback points others towards a future they can still change rather than a past they can’t. The future is a place of possibility and potential. That’s exactly where leaders should be guiding these conversations about work. Work quality improves when people believe their future is clear, exciting, and something they can create. There’s a reason a car’s dashboard is bigger than its rearview mirror.

3. Listen and learn

“Know it alls” like to think they have all the answers. “Learn it alls” like it to get answers from others. A simple way to turn feedback into a conversation is to adopt a learning mindset. Stay curious. Be humble. It’s amazing what we learn about ourselves when we’re just a little less certain about our own beliefs.

4. Make the ask

Too often, feedback arrives too late. Take matters into your own hands by asking for feedback. And ask often. Increasing the frequency of of feedback raises the odds that you'll get something useful out of it. Feedback is too important to leave to chance. Get it on your terms. If you're a leader, ask your team for feedback - you'll get insights to improve the way you manage and will set an example for others to follow.

5. Widen your circle

After getting negative feedback, the last thing you want is more feedback. But that’s exactly what we need, and it pays to tap your critics and challenge networks for their input and insights. We can't go far by ourselves.

6. Don't push it off

We forget things almost as soon as we learn them. This “forgetting curve” wipes out nearly 70% of information that’s not actively retrieved. When feedback is time lapsed, the effects can be devastating: Neither the giver nor receiver can truly recall what happened. The result is blame, shame and pain. Unlike a vintage Chardonnay, feedback never gets better with time.

7. Ditch the sandwich

There’s nothing wrong with a little praise — just a praise sandwich. Not only does it dilute the message (we don’t know what others are saying), but it diminishes trust (we can’t rely on what they’re saying). For better results, try serving a feedback WRAP: The combination of candor and collaboration offers a more satisfying experience.

8. One thing at a time

Too many choices and an abundance of decisions can literally shut down our ability to process and perform. When feedback feels like firehose, it shuts people down. Instead of piling on, set a few targets at a time. It’s easier to track and execute, which means real improvements will actually happen.

9. Go for the variety pack

With feedback, one size fits none. Experts and novices have different feedback preferences, as do men and women. Right-sizing our feedback means taking these and other realities into account. I’ve found it helpful to ask others how they wish to receive feedback — written, verbally or a combination of the two. People are unique. Their feedback should be, too.

10. Get moving

If you get negative feedback -- and who hasn't? -- don’t waste time obsessing over it. That's the natural and human thing to do, but it's also a colossal waste of energy and emotion. Instead of parsing the message for hidden meaning, simply thank the person for giving you feedback and make a plan of action. Too many people get stuck on what happened and fail to think about what needs to happen next. Don’t obsess. Make progress.

Keep fixing,

Joe


Dr. Joe Hirsch helps organizations design and deliver feedback without fear. He's a TEDx and global keynote speaker and the author of "The Feedback Fix." Joe's work and research has been featured in Harvard Business Review, Forbes, CNBC, The Wall Street Journal, Inc. and other major outlets. He also hosts the popular podcast, I Wish They Knew.

Stay connected: YouTube | X | Speaking

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Joe Hirsch的更多文章

  • Candor is a team sport

    Candor is a team sport

    Wouldn't it be nice if people could talk and actually know what's being said? Instead dodging or disguising hard…

  • Use feedback to turn fails into wins

    Use feedback to turn fails into wins

    Receiving feedback without fear requires a healthy dose of listening and learning. Unless we're open to the possibility…

    2 条评论
  • Your feedback face is talking

    Your feedback face is talking

    With feedback, what we show matters more than what we say. Even well-crafted feedback can fall flat if it's not…

  • Make a feedback plan

    Make a feedback plan

    If we want feedback to achieve its purpose, we need a plan. Sharing feedback without fear takes skill and savvy, but it…

  • Why it pays to get feedback from outsiders

    Why it pays to get feedback from outsiders

    When we're trying to navigate a difficult situation, getting feedback from others can help us find our way. And while…

  • These frame shifts will make feedback fearless

    These frame shifts will make feedback fearless

    When feedback fails to live up to its potential, it's usually because our beliefs and behaviors are counter-productive.…

  • Praise sandwiches don't satisfy, but WRAPs do

    Praise sandwiches don't satisfy, but WRAPs do

    Giving feedback, especially when it's critical, is a difficult but necessary part of managing people. Which is why…

    3 条评论
  • Make feedback a two-way conversation

    Make feedback a two-way conversation

    Have you ever tried to turn feedback into a conversation but the other person doesn’t want to talk? Despite your best…

  • Making difficult conversations a bit easier

    Making difficult conversations a bit easier

    There's no easy way to say it: Difficult conversations are a part of life. It's the conversation you need to have with…

    2 条评论
  • When others won't act on your feedback

    When others won't act on your feedback

    Giving feedback is hard. Getting others to act on feedback can be harder.

    1 条评论