10 Unique Lessons Learned From Hosting Groups of Leaders

I wanted to share this learning with anyone thinking of launching events, and/or who is already doing it so they can say, “Yes! I needed to hear that!” Or “Oh my goodness, thank you for acknowledging how I feel!”

Hosting groups, curating events, and mastering a vibe of people from yoga to meditation to talks and empowerment is one of my favorite things to do. I wanted to share this personal 10-step list of eye-opening adventures that I received in 2022 when bringing people together.

I hope that you enjoy this list of learnings. If you relate to one or many, please comment.

1. Not everyone sticks to the plan. Some people don’t come with a built-in system for sticking with their own plans, and some overbook themselves. There are those who are meant to be there and there are those who have terrible time management skills or who are not fully committed. Focus on the ones who enjoy what you offer and don't try to fix those who lack time management. Know better for next time to tweak your own rules. Watch it all like a hawk.
2. It would be so so so nice, but… but… participants don’t have to like each other. They can be courteous, but I learned to not assume that people have to like each other. This one got me because even though I've hosted private events for over 15 years, I felt like everyone likes to like one another, but this year, I was wrong. It made me sad at first, but then again, I get it and I didn’t force it. I accepted it.
3. Some people have zero facial expression which can be a deterrent. If someone comes to zoom on a consistently dark screen without a smile, their head is at the very bottom of the square, and they have no facial expressions, people will, in fact, think they are mean. There was one person in particular who showed up in the dark with no facial expression was thought of as mean, which distanced several people who asked, "Who is she, is she nice? She looks so mean."
4. Being on your phone during meetings is very distracting. Be there or don’t. You can’t do both, and if you do, you’ll hear about it from others.
5. Make things optional if you’re a host. I learned this one the hard way. Again, thinking everyone would get along, I added alternative activities that some people weren’t into and that’s ok. I originally didn’t say optional and I should have. It became a growth lesson for me, but it also made me think that if you're a participant, don't be in 50%. Be all in, be a game changer. Biggest lesson: Be flexible.
6. 8pm is late for most. Try a morning session or earlier in the evening. People get tired.
7. Some people are afraid of their own light. There will be people who are so scared of seeing themselves shine. It’s hard to see someone not showing up as the person you know they can be, or those who run from their own greatness in the moment.
8. Portals are great for people to retrieve content, but not everyone is willing to click three times to get to a portal. People are getting lazier and lazier, and the more technology gives us opportunities, the less we want to do, or expect to click. Find a system that works for your content and your people.
9. Themes are exceptional tools for keeping people on track and enthusiastic!
10. Be grateful for people, for they are freaking amazing… even the bad ones teach you more about yourself and your growth.

I love bringing people together and I see it all as a social experiment. In fact, I see most of life as a social experiment and I would like to continue to walk my talk, learn from my mistakes, learn from people and be one with the growth that I receive on a daily basis. I'll never not have fun with groups of people, curating, or speaking, and I'll continue to be open-minded while prodding individuals to show up in their best self.

Elizabeth Barry is an wxecutive communication coach, keynote speaker and workshop host that focuses on emotional intelligence, public speaking, confidence, mindfulness and leadership. She has written six books that continue to change people’s lives and is interested in hosting office meditations to help people release stress in 2023.