10 Tips for Surviving a Job Loss

The corner office is no longer yours, and it wasn't your idea, and retirement is a long way off. Your emotions are running high and there is tension in the air. Here are ten tips to help you deal with the turmoil and pain of losing a job you need and may love. My wish for you is that you never have to use them.

1.    Don't let the fear control you.Many people get frozen because they don't know what to do so they opt to do nothing and instead just worry. It's appropriate to be concerned, but you also have to overcome your initial panic and to take steps to move forward. This is where Kaizen can really be helpful. Just doing a little bit, on a continual basis will help you reach your goal. If the anxiety gets to be too much and you feel paralyzed by fear, you must see a doctor.

2.    Do something everyday to help yourself heal.Exercise, read some self-help books, learn to meditate and never underestimate the power of proactive networking. Pick things that you know will be beneficial to your career and do them. Don't wait for the mood to come over you, take one action and then take another. Some other tips include: Taking a walk (which is healthy and anxiety reducing), going out to breakfast with colleagues or sending out resumes and checking out internet job sites. Take a "mental health day" if needed, it's okay to spend one day as a couch potato. Don't sit in your room and ruminate, you have to free your mind so create your next job.

3.    Find emotional support.There are numerous groups for the newly unemployed, many with computers and job coaching. Just don't try to tough it out or go it alone, support from others is healing, even if those people never become close friends. Remember that it's okay to cry all you want. Let the tears flow, it's healthy if you are releasing grief, fear and pain. You may be afraid to start because you're fearful you'll never stop, but you will. Also, seeing a counselor doesn't mean you're a broken person. A good therapist can make all the difference with this kind of life changing adjustment.

4.    Go on practice interviews.You may not feel ready or you may just want (and deserve) a break - totally understandable. But the more time you spend being inactive, the harder it will be to set appointments and go on interviews.  Even if it's a job you are way over-qualified or even under-qualified for, take the risk and go on the interview. The more interviews you do, the more comfortable you will be with them and when the right one comes alone, you'll nail it.

5.    Apply for unemployment insurance.It may not feel too good (and if it feels great, that could be a different problem) but the real truth is that you paid your money into the fund and it is perfectly acceptable to use it. Some people see it as a negative, but if you're only on it for a few months that doesn't make it a lifestyle, and that's a few thousand dollars you wouldn't have had. All you have to do is go online and apply. 

6.    Don't try to mask your pain by substance use. Yes, you are in pain, and a nice glass of wine can definitely take the edge off. But if you start having more than one drink a night or using drugs on a daily basis, pull yourself out of the pattern before it becomes a habit - or worse, an addiction. If you are already there, see a medical doctor, there are a number of new medicines now available to help fight addiction.

7.    Don’t spend too much time alone.Hang out with friends or make new ones, go to coffee with someone you can talk to, volunteer in your community to keep your skill set sharp. You will need time alone, but if you isolate yourself you will not be as productive and you may get depressed. Send out resumes, talk to others in your field and keep your contacts alive. If you're not talking to people, you will not make as much progress as you'd like to. 

8.    Treat job hunting like your new job.Do something to find a job everyday, and yes, this includes Sundays. You cannot drop the ball here. It is too easy to get out of the rhythm of going to work (or looking for work) everyday. Once you get used to down time, it can be problematic pulling yourself out of it. Create a routine and stick to it. If you have a friend who has an empty desk at their place of business, ask if you can use it for job hunting so it gives you a similar feeling as going to work. 

9.    Beware of the desire to make big changes.Don't move to another town (or into your parent's house) right away. Major changes like those are merely a way of avoiding your feelings. If you are financially strapped, having to move is understandable, even a necessity, but if you choose to stay with friends or family, see yourself as a guest, not a permanent resident. With a little time, patience and support you will feel better and find meaningful work in the near future and you can repay the favor when you are able.

10.  Research.Find out what others, who have not just survived but thrived after their jobs ended, did to achieve it. There are some great books on job hunting and creating home based and internet businesses, which I believe is the future for many of us. Starting a small online business can be a great project for your non-interviewing hours and may also become a profit center, but it should not be counted on for immediate income.

Losing your job can be a nightmare. In the last recession, it took an average of 18 months to find a managerial level job, so don't beat yourself up if something doesn't happen for you right away. Look, you have been successful in your recent past, and you can do it again.