10 Tips to help stop Gaslighting at Work

Dealing with gaslighting at work can be a really stressful, alienating experience and it's really tough to respond in a way that doesn't undermine your credibility. The gaslighter is out to prevent your attempts to excel, succeed and work on professional development.

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that can be used by anyone — including your boss and colleagues.?The definition is: "to manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events."??The gaslighter can do this by denying past events, downplaying your emotions, or retelling events so that you take the blame.

?If you’ve ever felt like someone was making you doubt your own sanity, then you know what gaslighting feels like.?Gaslighting at work is a real issue with over 58% of people saying they have experienced it in their working lives, according to a twitter poll from?MHR .

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where one person tries to make another question their own memory, perception and reality. Essentially, a gaslighter intentionally makes you distrust yourself as a way to control and manipulate you.

It could be little things like claiming credit for your work, questioning what was said in a meeting, setting unrealistic deadlines or purposefully withholding information, they may praise you in private but criticise you to the rest of your colleagues. It could be co-workers invalidating something you've said, or putting doubts about your work, sabotaging your efforts and finding flaws in your work. All these things build up and can destroy a person's confidence and make someone feel isolated at work, eventually even pushing them out.

This week I'm going to share 5 tips to help you identify gaslighting and 5 tips to counter gaslighting at work.

5 Signs That You’re Being Gaslit At Work

If you think someone is gaslighting you at work, there are some tell-tale signs that could help you recognise it.?Many victims of gaslighting tactics fail to recognise it as their being manipulated to self-doubt.

1. You're constantly questioning your perception and your point of view is always questioned.?If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with self-doubt and confusion and 2nd guessing your version of events, your most likely being gaslighted. Licensed psychologist Dr Elizabeth Lombardo says: "This is the most apparent sign of gaslighting."

2. You have more complaints than compliments.??If you have more complaints about your work than compliments about your work, then you may be dealing with a gaslighter. If you always have to prove yourself but never get the recognition you deserve, then you could be dealing with a gaslighter.

Maybe you're getting cut off from professional gatherings, conferences or opportunities at work.?If your boss, management or co-works are repeatedly excluding you from meetings or opportunities that might be vital for your success, it is a strong sign of gaslighting.

3. You’re being ignored.??If a gaslighter ignores your input or if your boss ignores your accomplishments, then you could be dealing with a gaslighter.

4. You’re being offered vague or unhelpful feedback. If you keep getting vague feedback and no constructive criticism, you might be dealing with a gaslighter.

If you continue to hear repeated, unsupported negative statements about your work performance, you most probably are being gaslighted.?A persistent lack of applicable feedback is a crucial symptom of workplace gaslighting.

5. You are constantly being corrected, even when you are right. If your boss or co-worker is always correcting you, even when you’re right, you could be dealing with a gaslighter.

You’re always being “crazy-made” – If your always being told that you’re wrong, that your work is bad or that you didn’t meet expectations and there's a refuse to acknowledge your side of the story, you could be dealing with a gaslighter.

5 Things You Can Do To Stop Being Gaslighted At Work

If you’re being gaslighted at work, you can take steps to put an end to it.

1. Stand up for yourself

If your boss keeps telling you that you’re wrong and you know that you’re right, politely insist that you are correct. You don’t have to be combative, but you do have to stand up for yourself, be confident, calm and assertive when the gaslighter tries to undermine your authority.

2. Learn to recognize the signs of a gaslighter.

If you’re aware of what a gaslighter acts like, you can more easily fend off the manipulation. Reading the 5 tips above can help you be more aware of the signs that you are being gaslighted.

3. Talk to someone:

If you truly feel that you’re being gaslighted at work, talk to someone about it. Whether this be a human resources representative or a trusted colleague, confiding in someone can help you take control of the situation.

4. Document everything

When commnicating with a gaslighter, the preferred method of communication is in writing over email/ text/whats app.?That way, you have a written record of all conversations and can look through to check exactly what was discussed.?It call also help to build up evidence if you choose to take further action down the line.

5. Leave if you can

Gaslighting can be a symptom of a toxic workplace and that's not something you alone can fix.?Gaslighting can affect your mental health and lower your self-esteem and confidence.?It's really important to protect your mental health and if your wellbeing is not being valued, moving on to a better work environment can be the best thing.

Bottom line

Gaslighting can be a vicious form of workplace bullying that can make you question your own sanity. If you think your boss or someone at work is gaslighting you, you can take steps to put an end to it. You should be able to trust your boss and feel comfortable speaking up if you’re being manipulated.

When you’re able to recognize the signs of a gaslighter and fight back, you can put an end to the manipulation and regain your confidence. That being said, it’s also important to note that a gaslighter may not always know that they are gaslighting someone. Sometimes people just want to be right, and they don’t realize they’re being manipulative.

If you feel like you’re being gaslighted, take these tips and put them into practice. With a little bit of effort you can stop being gaslighted and regain your confidence!