10 things I've learned makes a good people manager

Two and a half years ago I was told I was being promoted from a Senior Creative to a Creative Design Manager, and that I would be leading the in-house team at GoCompare. I was both thrilled and terrified. Aside from mentoring I'd had no experience leading a team or managing another person. I had no idea what I was doing. And it showed.

I'm writing this article for those who might be in a similar position. I wished that an article like this existed when I was first made a manager. It would have reassured me that I'm not alone, not a failure and that things will get better. Before I go into what I've learned makes a good people manager, let me tell you about my experience when I was first made a manager. If you're not interested, skip ahead to the first lesson.

How it started

My first 9 months of being a people manager was filled with imposter syndrome, leaning on others for advice but not knowing how to implement it and making the wrong choices. I lacked in confidence, was petrified someone was going to find out that I wasn't good at this new job but at the same time really wanted to improve and do a good job. Naturally, most people want to progress in their careers and this was a big step for me in mine. I've always strived for the next thing and to progress in my career. I didn't want this new opportunity to be taken away and to feel humiliated by my lack of competence.

Annual review time came around. All my fears came true. My manager told me that I was receiving a good score for the hard work I'd put in, but my lack of management skills were holding me back and that I had some improving to do. I already knew this, but hearing it from another person rather than my own self-conscious mind still felt like a kick to the gut. But it was the kick that I needed.

Rather than panic and continue on the path that was clearly not working for me, I jumped into action mode. I immediately questioned myself why I hadn't done this before. Maybe it was pride, maybe it was fear, but the main thing was I was going to improve my skills not just for my own sake, but for the sake of my direct report. Feeling like a proper dummy, I bought the only book that was appropriate... Management for Dummies. It was surprisingly helpful, a lot of common sense but the biggest part of the helpfulness was acknowledging that I was finally doing something about my problem.

I also got a therapist. With a history of an anxiety disorder, it was time I addressed my issues that were causing interference with my performance as a manager, as well as other parts of my life that had resurfaced due to the stress of the last 9 months. I can honestly say I've never felt stronger or happier since and recommend that anyone speaks to someone if you feel it's appropriate.

A year and a half later, I'm writing this article after learning so much that I feel qualified enough to give my thoughts on what makes a good people manager, and hope that this helps others who are struggling, as well as those who may need a bit of guidance. I'm not a coach, and no qualifications in coaching and I want to emphasise that this article is based on my own opinions, not of my employer and what works for me might not work for everyone. You may also disagree with some of my thoughts, and that's ok. So I'll jump straight in.

1) Be yourself and accept your flaws

You can only ever be yourself. I struggled with accepting who I am, worried that I wasn't good enough, wasn't interesting and was worried that my flaws made me look weak. When you accept that you can only ever be yourself, that being you is something to celebrate because there's only one of you, and that other people's opinion about you is none of your business, it leaves you room to open the door just a little to let yourself be yourself in your role as a manager.

I'm a chatterbox. I'm socially awkward. I'm an oversharer. I strive for perfection in my work and performance. I like being liked. These things aren't on the checklist of what makes a good manager in any of the books and online posts. But I am me, and I am good enough to manage people despite being different. Why? The big secret - we are ALL different. We are ALL weird. NOBODY knows what they're doing and EVRYONE have flaws and insecurities. Most people just don't talk about it. I found that accepting these things and accepting who I am freed me, and now I can focus on how to continuously improve as a manager rather than worrying about what my reports and colleagues think of me. This takes work and took talking to my therapist and working every day to get to this stage. I didn't think it was doable, but if I can get here, so can you.

Other people's opinion about you is none of your business

2) Always keep your word

This is simple. If you say you'll do something, make sure you do it. If you've not had time to do something you've promised and have been side-tracked, be honest, apologise and give a deadline for when you'll do it by. And stick to it. Your direct reports need to be able to trust you as their manager and one of the simplest ways to do this is to keep your word. Whatever you've promised might be scary, it might be painful and it might be uncomfortable, but it's also a lesson for you to learn from, and the more you do things that scare you the easier they become. It's another tool in your belt. But most importantly, the rapport with your direct report will improve and be strengthened.

If you say you'll do something, make sure you do it.

3) Trust your reports

This is one of the hardest lessons I learned. Moving along in my career from being a "doer" to being a manager (who is still a doer, but delegates work) is a strange and difficult transition. I found it bizarre that all of a sudden I had more responsibilities and needed to lean on my direct report to help deliver work, rather than doing all the work myself. Letting go of doing the work is hard because you will have an idea in your head about how a project should be done. From a creative perspective, you might have a route you think would be best to go down to deliver the brief, especially if you know the company and brief owner well. But all of a sudden you're delegating work to someone and if you or they are a new recruit or you've not worked with them much, you won't know how they'll do.

Now, you might be tempted to guide them and tell them what to do and how. You might figure that at least they're doing the work but then they'll be 'doing it right' with your 'help'. A word of advice: don't. Just don't.

If they ask for your help or guidance, give it or at least help them figure it out so that they learn what to do next time (asking questions and discussing helps with this e.g. "what's the first thing you think should be done?"). If they don't ask for help, let them know you're there if they need you. Then leave them to do their job without interference. Do not micromanage. The worst feeling in any job is if someone stifles your creativity or controls what you do. If they come up with a different solution to what you would have done, it does not mean it's not as good or wrong. If you don't think the work answers the brief, ask them to explain why they think it does and provide feedback on why it might not after you've listened to their answer (if applicable). They might realise themselves that it doesn't answer the brief, or their answer might make complete sense. Puppets are for Disney movies, not for the workplace.

Also, don't keep the big juicy projects to yourself. Yes, take some of them, but distribute them out fairly across the team. Your direct reports deserve to lead on projects that are exciting, that raises their profile and lifts their morale. They will learn a lot and enjoy the responsibility. Having responsibilities in your job is so important. Everyone needs to own something they're excited about. If they don't, you'll quickly have an unhappy direct report on your hands.

Leave them to do their job without interference.

4) 1:1s

I'm amazed whenever I hear that someone's not had a 1:1 for weeks or months. They're incredibly important. Each of my direct reports has a 1:1 every week, even if they don't feel they have anything to talk about. Not only is it an opportunity to build a relationship with your direct report and get to know them, but it's also an opportunity to provide regular feedback and to check in with them to make sure everything's ok. Your direct reports need to know they have at least allocated time and a confidential space to talk about anything that's troubling them (though being available whenever they need you is even better).

A lot of workplaces have annual reviews of employee's performance. If you've noticed that there's something that your direct report isn't doing correctly or could improve on, don't leave it until the annual review to tell them. It will blindside them and it doesn't give them an opportunity to improve or correct the problem. You're at risk of damaging your trust and relationship with your direct report by doing this.

1:1s are a perfect opportunity to discuss your feedback. If you do have feedback, make sure you ask questions like "how do you feel X went?" and "is there anything you think you could have improved?" first so that they can reflect on their performance themselves, which helps them to learn and develop. If they aren't aware there's something wrong, then you can provide your thoughts as well as discuss with them what a solution could be to fix it. Don't just leave them hanging and wondering how to move forward or to do things differently. Be kind too - it's uncomfortable to receive feedback like this.

Most people want to progress in their career. Discussing feedback is a good way to help someone progress, but it's also important to have a progression plan. Discuss what your report can do to improve and concentrate on to help them progress, and review how they're getting on periodically. This shouldn't be every week unless there's something fundamental that needs addressing. Once a month seems fair. Keep a record of it and make it easy for your report to reflect on what they can do to keep working on their plan.

Asking how someone is doing is so important too. They might be dealing with something at home that they may or may not want to talk about. If they do, thank them for opening up and for telling you. It's brave and scary to be open and honest sometimes. If your report does open up, it's important to listen and pay attention. Don't get distracted and make sure that you understand what they're telling you. If applicable, ask how you or the business can help or support them. If they don't talk, let them know that you're always there to listen and support them without judgement if they ever need you.

Lastly, make sure that you ask your reports if there's anything work-related that you're struggling with or want to raise concerns about. If there is something, again - listen. Make sure they feel heard. It may be that they need your help or guidance. It may be something bigger that you need to look into outside of the 1:1. If this is the case, make sure you write it down and as per my second point, keep your word and explain when you'll aim to get back to them by.

An opportunity to provide regular feedback and to check in with them to make sure everything's ok

5) Listen

I've just touched on this in the last point, but it needs and deserves it's own section. Your direct reports are all different. Each of them will need to be managed in different ways. To get to know your direct reports, you need to talk to them, spend time with them and most importantly listen. By finding out who your reports are and what makes them tick, it will put you in a stronger position to be the most effective manager for each of them.

Some people aren't into small talk, others aren't very open about themselves and are very shy, and some might be so confident and chatty that you find it a little (or a lot) intimidating. Whichever they are, they need to know that you will listen to them and that they will be heard. Some people may need a bit of prompting, but when you've earned their trust most of the time they will talk. What happens after you've listened can be read in points 2 and 4.

If you're being given feedback by your reports (which is something I do encourage to ask for periodically), thank them for their honesty and help. After all, that is what they're doing - helping you to improve. It's difficult to give feedback to your manager and is a brave thing to do, but it's vital to make sure you can be the best you can be for them, and vital that you don't react negatively. It's not a personal attack and so you shouldn't take it personally. What you do is not the definition of who you are.

They need to know that you will listen to them and that they will be heard.

6) Communication, communication, communication

Whether you're a chatterbox like me or are more on the quiet side, there is no excuse for a lack of communication with your direct reports. If there's only two of you or a team of a hundred, you need to make sure you're communicating with them, and communicating effectively. The cheesy saying goes "There's no I in team" and the only way your team will feel united is if you communicate with them.

What should you be communicating? That depends, but a useful trick you could use is to put yourself in their shoes or think back to a time you wish you'd been communicated with more effectively. What would you want to know about? Personally I'd want to know what my team are working on and if there are any important updates. I have three direct reports, and every morning we have a team meeting to see how we all are, ask what we did with our evenings, and then I communicate anything important they need to know. I also communicate what I'm working on, whether they're involved in the work or not, and ask everyone to explain what they're working on too. That way we feel like a united team and I get an idea of how well projects are going, if prioritisation is going ok and if new projects have come in directly to my reports. It's an opportunity to correct any prioritisation issues and to discuss any team projects too. As a team we're looking to streamline this so that there's more visibility using tools like Asana, and can reduce the being reliable on daily morning catch ups but during lockdown it's been very useful and has helped with morale (video calls with cameras turned on are essential for this).

Think back to a time you wish you'd been communicated with more effectively.

7) Culture and environment

Speaking of morale, every team has their own unique culture. Working for a business means there's already a company culture, but when you've got to know your team, communicate effectively and have regular team meetings that aren't just focussed on work, a team culture evolves. My team are very much into cats and true crime and gaming. We're all creative in our own ways and we have a lot of fun talking every morning. Sometimes it's too much fun and we get carried away! But I would much rather have that problem than have a team who are miserable with low morale. Fixing that problem is much harder.

How do you build a team culture? In my opinion it's using points 1 through 6, as well as the points to come. The happier your reports are due to being supported and comfortable in their roles, the happier the team will be. Encourage your reports to catch up without you and build their own relationships between themselves too. You have your peers and support network, so encouraging them to build their own in each other can only strengthen the team.

Team activities are also a great way to build great morale. Arrange a day trip for training, inspiration or team building. Attend relevant talks as a team and then discuss them during a team meeting to see if you can use anything you've learned. Plan themed quizzes every couple of weeks or so and take turns hosting.

If your team doesn't have a lovely relationship and culture, if some of your direct reports don't get along, or you have a difficult relationship with your reports that you're struggling with, I apologise - I can't imagine being in your position and I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. This point may not be helpful to you. I'd suggest using the other points in this article to see if you can improve things.

The happier your reports are due to being supported and comfortable in their roles, the happier the team will be.

8) Be open and honest

One of the biggest things I believe has helped me as a person and as a manager is being open and honest. Not only do your reports get to know you better and more deeply, but they know that they're free to be open and honest with you too. This encourages more feedback, more communication, and instils more trust, as well as a stronger relationship. This doesn't just apply to your direct reports. There is a balance between honesty and being too honest. It took me a while to get this balance right. The key is to listen to your gut. If your gut is telling you you're being too honest or open, then you're probably right.

There is a balance between honesty and being too honest.

9) Lead by example

Think back to before you were a manager. You might have looked to your manager for guidance, learned how to deal with certain situations from them, and asked for their advice that really helped you. Alternatively you might have disliked your manager, felt they were too controlling or spoke down to you and weren't very helpful or supportive. Whatever you thought/think of them, you can learn something from from your manager(s) to help you to be a good manager.

If your manager was supportive and kind and you looked up to them, think about what you'd like to take away and use as a manager yourself. Also have a think about what you WOULDN'T do that had a negative effect on you, and do something about it by doing the opposite for your direct reports. This is what makes you you, and helps you to form your own idea of what a good manager is. It's leading by example because one day if they become a manager, they'll do the same thing and if you've got it right, will have learned how to be a good manager through your learnings.

At first you might be a carbon copy of your manager(s) because that's all you know. You might not have found your own way to do things yet, and I did the same thing. Badly I might add, but I would often ask myself "what would have my manager done?". Over time I realised that being myself (point 1) and doing what I thought was right rather then trying to do what someone else had done would be wise. It's hard trying to be like someone else, and even more so when you're doing a bad job of it!

Whatever you thought/think of them, you can learn something from from your manager(s) to help you to be a good manager.

10) Talk to and lean on your peers and manager

You never stop learning and will never know all the answers. Sometimes you won't have a clue what you're doing. Sometimes you'll feel overwhelmed or stuck. It's vital that you have one or two people you can trust who you can talk to when you feel this way. Don't talk to your direct reports about it. Be honest and open yes, but don't discuss it with them (there's a big difference between "I'm struggling in work at the moment and feeling a bit stressed, so I apologise if I'm not my usual self today" and "I'm stressed because we're under resourced, the team are working hard but it's not enough for us to keep on top of all the work and I'm having to work extra hours to make up for it". Think of yourself as an umbrella for your team. If you don't have someone who's a peer to talk to, discuss it with your manager. That's what they're there for, and hopefully they utilise at least some of the points I've written here to help you and support you.

It's vital that you have one or two people you can trust that you can talk to.

Bonus: It's ok to say and acknowledge that you've done a good job

If I've done well, I tell myself I've done well. I call them "good manager moments" if it applies to helping my direct reports and hearing lovely feedback from them. I strive to improve all the time, but I've recently taken to patting myself on the back when I've done a job well done. It's made a huge difference in 2021, and I've had a few people comment that they've seen a difference in my confidence. I've always struggled with my confidence, but congratulating myself and even saying it out loud to my partner or peers has left me feeling strong and good about myself. It's not boastful, and I don't brag. If you're not a boastful or bragging type of person, it's just a genuine positive comment about yourself that barely anyone ever hears nowadays (I find that it's so easy to put ourselves down that positive comments are rarely said, and I'm trying to change that in my world). This new confidence helps me to deal with things when things don't go right because I know that it's a small blip, not the end of the world and doesn't mean I've failed or am a failure. It's helped me take on more responsibilities, have more difficult conversations and to push myself even further than I thought I could because I've told myself "I can do it".

I hope this has been helpful to you. Even if this only helps one person it's been worth the couple of hours it's taken for me to write it. It might be that there's more to add to this list that you feel is missing, but this is just my account and thoughts on what I've learned and what I feel makes me a good people manager, so please feel free to comment with anything else you think could help someone. That's all this article is about - to help someone. I'll be writing more articles in the near future about topics such as what it's like to work in-house as a creative, juggling mental health with work and so on, but if you've also got any suggestions for what you'd like to hear more about from me feel free to leave your suggestion in the comments.

Thanks for the time you've taken to read this article. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day! :)