10 Things I Do When I'm Lost

“What absolute crap this is”

When you post online people can say things about your work.

It doesn’t matter. Last week a guy read the same post and messaged me ”I just read your post (How to get started from the bottom) re-read it twice, and then followed you... Thank you very much”

Who is right?

Maybe both of them. I don't know. 

It doesn't matter, the post was for me. I am writing for when I am lost again.

1 Avoiding

Know the difference between avoidance and being lost. Some days I want to avoid things. I don’t want to sweat, my head hurts from thinking. There are days I don’t want to feel any pain.

2 Preparation

When I am unprepared it’s easy to avoid the things I need to do. A year ago I wrote this “I continue to be defined by my habits.”

When I’m prepared I follow my routines: reading, meditation, eating healthy, etc.

Once a positive habit forms there is less resistance. Discipline equals freedom.

3 Reading

The fastest path for me is reading. I was wrong. I thought only non - fiction was the answer. It doesn’t matter what you read, so long as you read something.

Find a book, a chapter... just one page and read it. This can start the wheels again. Other things can happen once the wheels are turning. The trick is to get them moving again. 

I read six to ten different books at once, don’t read a book you aren’t interested in. Pick the one you are most interested in and start reading.

4 Listen  

Today reading feels like too much work. I’m an auditory person, reading isn’t always the path of least resistance for me. I can always listen.

What should I listen to?

Some uptempo music? Maybe some comedy, listening to comedy changes my entire frame, I start to play in my head. Later I find myself laughing at the jokes and repeating them to friends, I laugh and sometimes they do too.

Once this is all over I hope people will remember the fun times we had. The time I made them laugh by doing something funny.

Something that didn’t make sense, but was hilarious because it was out of character for me.

5 Force It

I tried for hours. Nothing. Forcing myself to create when it’s not there is not my best work. Don’t do this one. 

When you are young you force it and think this is helping you make it. When you are experienced you learn NOT to do things.

6 The Smallest Step

The number 1 seems so small that it is insignificant. There are days that the smallest amount of progress matters. It seems like such a small step but 1% compounds day after day week after week. You can be a different person by the end of a month if you change 1% each day.

How can you take the smallest step in the direction you want to go? Not the biggest piece, not the hardest, what is the smallest thing? I can do that.

Small steps move you in the direction of certainty, I am not lost.

7 Find Your Superheroes

I watch Youtube, sometimes finding comedy videos from my favorite comedians: Kevin Hart, Jim Gaffigan, or Aziz Ansari. Other times I watch videos by successful entrepreneurs. I didn’t grow up reading comics but successful entrepreneurs are my superheroes. 

You can learn something from everyone. 

The things you put in your mind stick with you, they help you find your way. Remember this.

8 Think

I’m getting tired as I write this. Thinking about being tired only slows you down. Thinking is the thing I forget to do sometimes. It’s easier to go through the motions than to reflect on what is happening when we move. 

This is why I walk or take a long drive. Then I can think. I can reflect on the events and people in my life. I decide what is good, and who to remove.

Moving allows you to see patterns and make connections.

9 Only Do What Interests You

I don’t make any money doing this. But I love it. I do it for free and it doesn’t make any sense. That is okay. Everything does not have to make sense right now. Maybe in time, it will take me somewhere else where I can become something else. 

An executive I worked with said publicly “we will not be beaten by a company that sells books” and later made the same statement in an email to thousands of employees.

Amazon is now a Trillion dollar company that dominated us. I guess he was wrong.

The product you start your business with will not be the same product in the future. 

10 Play

When I was eleven I played chess, I wasn't good at chess but playing it helped me. I played and lost, I learned, and then read books about chess strategies. It interested me for a time. Then I moved on to music, sports, and later video games. 

Now I play few games. The game I love most is playing with words, changing their position, rearranging them. Trying to make them move in unison like a rapper's flow. 

Find a game to play.

11 Lists 

This post started when I didn’t know what to do. I started the list by writing “10 things I do when lost” now I am at eleven. 

Lists can get you out of a rut, they can help to guide your way. Lists are short and concise. They help you to take the smallest step forward. And that is all that matters. 

Sometimes you use them to teach other people. You can also use lists to keep you organized to make your next move. Checkmate!

12 Bulletproof Coffee

Before Dave Asprey, there was no such thing as Bulletproof Coffee. Now twelve million results return in a Google search.

People love to hate Dave, they write horrible things about him calling him a modern-day snake oil salesman. 

Dave’s goal is singular: to hack and help himself. When he started sharing what worked for him people called him “fake” and a “liar.” 

He’s fine. 

People do this, it only hurts when you forget the words people use are not a reflection of you. Only the place they are at personally.

I drank Bulletproof Coffee while I wrote this. 

Does it work? 

Do I know the science behind it? 

I don’t know, and no. I feel better when I drink it. And things happen for me at a better speed. I will have another tomorrow. 

You have to believe in something.

Thanks Dave.

13 Sit Quietly

Stop everything and listen. Listen to what you think about. Pay attention to the things you come back to, nothing else matters.

You can start again when you are silent. Stillness allows you to find what you are going to do next. Think about what's bringing these thoughts to you. 

That's it.

- - -

"Are you done writing in your diary?"

It's not until you are alone that you are truly alone. Uninvited thoughts creep back into the room. Am I doing this right? 

No one knows. 

When it's quiet. When no one else is around everything comes back to remind you. Maybe I should stop off? I don't have to go home...

An excuse, but no one is there. No one will know if I am late or come home after a few. Two blocks away I know the bartender. 

We can talk for a while. I can have a few drinks. They will distract me into forgetting for a while. At least I won't be alone arguing with these thoughts.

I passed. 

I walked past. 

I decided it wouldn't matter. I don't want to feel bad tomorrow. I can put these thoughts to rest. It's okay to listen once but it doesn't have to loop. 

Maybe some things should be heard once?

It's okay to feel. 

She was right when she said, "you didn't choose yourself during that time." I looked down. The subject changed. We talked some more. That was one of the best conversations I have had.

I looked back at her and smiled. Then laid my head against the seat. Two hours remain on this bus ride, I'm finished writing in my diary. 

Clinton Buelter is a senior technical recruiter, the author of Cold Email Idea Machine, and founder of www.coldemailforrecruiters.com - a popular website for recruiters who want to take their cold email and recruiting skills to the next level.