10 Things to Help When You Lose Everything

If you have recently experienced a financial reversal, believe me when I tell you that you are far from alone. These ten things helped me pull myself togeather and progress after I had lost my car, home, job, health, friendships, and relatives in death. At a time in my life when it literally could get no worse, I learned how to dance in the rain, navigate through the storm and land on stability. 

Remember You're Not Alone

With many people having to work two to three jobs just to cover basic needs all over the world, keep in mind that the world is struggling with you. You see that person driving that nice car down the street? He's worried that he may lose his car because he fell behind on payments after getting injured at work. You see that woman with that amazing career? She's stressed because she was just given a bad report by her manager and she now fears that she could lose her job. Just because a person is not going through exactly what you're going through, keep in mind that they are going through something. This thinking can help you have a balanced view of your situation and not get overly sad and or depressed about your struggle. 

Remember It's Not Your Fault

Avoid the tendency that you may have to blame yourself for your situation. Granted, sometimes we make mistakes that result in more suffering, but you can not take the blame for the entire economy! You also can't take the blame when you face discrimination while in search for another job. There are some things in life that just happen because life is hard. Your manhood, womanhood and your maturity is not in question when you lose everything. This is just a sad reality of life. 

Learn To Live On Less

One of my friends told me a story about some young children in Brazil who only ate 2 or 3 times a week because the family just did not have the money. The kids adjusted to the situation and kept moving forward. It is not the end of the world if you miss a few meals during the week. It's also not the end of the world if you have to take public transportation. It keeps you authentic to the struggle of everyone else in your community and it's a humbling experience. When you see the mom with 4 children hop on the bus and see her asking her kids about their day and keeping them positive. You talk to an older woman who's taking the bus to catch a greyhound because she's escaping from an abusive husband. You see the college student studying for a test while the kid in the back of the bus in listening to his music to escape from the stress of life and the sadness of not having his father in his life. You become humbled and realize that you are not alone in the struggle and you gradually begin to accept it. 

It's also OK to move in with close friends or relatives until you get back on your feet. This will give you the opportunity to save up money while being surrounded by familiar faces. This may also assist you in fighting negative feelings and emotions while you work hard on rebuilding your life. 

Learn To Forgive

People who have not been through what you are going through may not understand how you're feeling. They may blame you for your situation, talk about you behind your back or make it difficult for your to emotionally cope with your situation in other ways. The main reason for this is probably due to the fact that they have never been in your shoes. So when they are speaking, they are actually speaking in ignorance. Imagine you telling a small child that 1+1 =2. The small child replies, no but it's 4. You kindly reply to the child, no but it's 2. Then you show the child that by adding 1 and 1 you get two. Suppose after you show the child this technique, the child still insists that the answer is 4. What do you do now? Nothing. It's a child. No sense in arguing with a small child. They will have to do some growing up before they can find the right answer. The same applies to dealing with people who don't understand your struggle. When your family or friends wrongly imply that you are the cause of the problem, you can kindly show them why that is not the case. If they still don't get it, there is no reason to argue with them. They simply have some growing up to do. In the meantime, love them and forgive them because it could truly just be their ignorance about the struggle. When one good friend of mine did not understand what I was trying to tell him, I kindly and respectfully told him that we will no longer speak on the subject togeather. You may need to do the same. 

Apply for multiple open positions

As you search for work and or adequate work, be sure to apply for any and every position you can reasonably fulfill. Don't be like this one unemployed Ph.D. Graduate who refused to accept work because it was not exactly what she wanted to do. 

Take any reasonable position and remember you can always apply for the job you want while you are working at the job you need. Use the resources from the job you need to get back on your feet and before you know it, you may land the job you want!

Also, why not ask your contacts on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram if there are any open positions or if they know of anyone who is hiring. They may be able to pass your information on directly to HR. 

It reminds me of the young man who quit his job one day and had a new withing a week. I was so curious as to how he was able to find work so quickly. His answer was simple. He told me that he asked a friend and they came through. 

Don't Trust Everyone

You are a person on a mission and you don't have time to be distracted by foolishness. This is not the time in your life when you want to make risky investments or work for less than stellar companies who promise a quick return of cash for little time spent working. If it sounds too good to be true then it probably is too good to be true. You don't have time to waste on empty job prospects. 

There was a heartbreaking story about a man who was offered a position in another state, so he packed his things and made the long journey to what he thought was going to be a new position. When he arrived at the location, he was robbed and murdered. There are some sick individuals out there in this world who want to take advantage of individuals who have already lost everything. Don't easily trust people you don't know and don't put yourself in a vulnerable position for any job prospect. If the job is legitimate, they won't mind you asking probing questions and or meeting in a public setting first. If they make excused and dodge direct questions, RUN!

Depression Will Want To Fight, Fight Back!  

You will get depressed from time to time about your situation. Anyone reasonable person would. But be determined to fight it. 

Some boxers get paid millions just to enter a fight but the winner get's paid more and gets the title and bragging rights for years to come. Similarly, when depression decides to enter the ring with you on any given day, be sure to fight back because the prize is your peace of mind, your sanity, and your present and future prospects of happiness. Don't let it knock you out. It may knock you down some days, but get back up and fight! 

Fight negative thoughts by replacing them with positive thoughts. 

Negative Thoughts  (to) Positive Thoughts

I can't do this.      to        I can do this.

This is too hard for me. to This is not too hard for me, I got this.

Why does everything have to be like this?  to We are all going through something. I get it. 

I want to die/kill myself.  to I want this situation to end so that I can live the full life I deserve.

Curse Everybody!   to I will show everybody that I refuse to stay broken.

It's all my fault. to I refuse to blame myself for things I have no control over. 

 Volunteer Doing Something You Love

All of my best moments in life have come from my volunteer work. I have made the most emotionally positive connections with members of the community and families through my weekly volunteer work. To this day, it is my focus and part of my foundation. 

When you volunteer to do something you love, you are in a sense, rewarding yourself with a positive distraction. At the same time, you are giving of yourself to help others. This creates a sense of internal joy, accomplishment, and genuine happiness. 

You don't have to be attached to any organization to volunteer your time to help someone. Sometimes all it takes is a few phone calls. You may discover that the rewards were worth the effort!

Avoid Illegal Substance Abuse, Overdrinking, and Prescription Drug Abuse 

Many people tend to cope with increased stress by relying on illegal substances and or overdrinking to drown their sorrows. 

These things make a bad situation worse and instead of focusing on solutions to get out of your situation, your mind is negatively distracted. This will hinder your emotional and financial progress that may also land you behind prison bars. 

Don't be like the man who tried to drink away his problems only to return home and find his whole family moving away because they could no longer endure the pain. Forced to live on the streets for a time until he accepted the help.

Don't be like the man who tried to make a quick buck by selling illegal drugs, only to be shot and killed in a drug deal gone bad. 

Don't be like the woman who began abusing prescription drugs, overdosed and landed in ICU at the hospital for two weeks. 

If any of these sounds like you, you can turn it around today and regain control of your life. Use the available resources in your area to get the help you need and deserve. 

Don't Give Up

Learn to accept the things you can't change and focus on the things you can. This will help you to keep pushing forward with the right mindset. Be sure to not focus on material things you don't have. This will only add to your frustration. Instead, focus on how to improve your current situation in the most positive manner. 

Don't give up. Life may be throwing you some hard balls right now but just be determined to keep swinging. You may strike out some days. Other days you may only have the energy to hit the ball past first base. Keep hitting because sooner or later you're going to be able to hit it out of the park if you don't give up. On that day, the crowd will rise to their feet and praise you for the skills you possess and the endurance you displayed. Until then, keep swinging, keep learning, keep growing. Your story is far from over.