10 Steps to Forgiveness
10 Steps To Forgiveness
We have all been hurt before and probably again in the future. We have all experienced pain. That is a normal part of being human. Its what you do with the pain and hurt that can help you to move forward or stay stuck. When we hold on to anger, we stay stuck in the anger and the fear. We will continue to feel the pain repeatedly. It effects every decision we make. When we forgive, we can move forward.
Unfortunately, forgiveness is hard but it’s well worth it. We always call forgiveness a process which it is, but my clients say that forgiveness is a journey and I like that thought. In this journey, you will discover your strength, learn a lot about yourself and make changes you never thought you could. You will grow into a better version of yourself.
A few things to remember through the journey: Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. I don’t want my clients to forget otherwise we can keep repeating bad patterns. You decide whether you want a relationship with the person who has hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you stay in a relationship or end it, that choice is yours.
10 Steps to Forgiveness
- Forgiveness is a process that takes time and patience. The process looks different for everyone. Forgiveness is an individual process. Don’t set up a time frame or any time expectations.
- To heal, you must acknowledge your feelings and take the time to really feel all the emotions associated with the hurt and wounds.
- To forgive, you must be willing to change from “victim” to a place of emotional freedom. Forgiveness is a choice and commitment but is very possible if you want it.
- You can’t heal and forgive alone, we all need a strong support system. People who are willing to walk with you through the healing process. People you can be vulnerable with.
- If you’re a spiritual/religious person- prayers are helpful in the process of forgiveness.
- Every hurt is there to teach us a lesson – spend some time soul searching. What is the lesson behind your pain?
- Look at the person who hurt you as a whole person – be open to understand that the person is more then the actions they did that hurt you. Remember, the person who hurt you is dealing with their own pain and suffering. The pain that was inflicted is rarely intentional and is more a reflection of their own inner turmoil.
- If you like writing- journal writing is a powerful release of emotions and can be very therapeutic. Get it down on paper without judgement. It helps release the story you have been holding onto for so long
- Forgiveness is done for you and you only. You have a choice if you want a relationship of any kind after the forgiveness process. There is no right or wrong, its what’s best for you.
- To forgive, you need to find some empathy and compassion for the person who hurt you. Figuring out why they hurt you can help. If you see/hear their back story, you can realize the hurt had nothing to do with you. It wasn’t a personal attack; it was done out of a learned trait/habit or to avoid their own misery and pain.
Start the journey today and find peace of mind tomorrow.
November Workshops Open to the Public
Monday, November 4, 7pm - Stop Taking It Personally
The Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-443-9222
Wednesday, November 6, 7pm - Emotional Detox- Dealing with Difficult People
Emerson Community School, NJ
Phone: 201-262-5502
Thursday, November 7, 7pm - How to Talk to Your Parents about End of Life Wishes
Hillsborough Public Library, NJ
Phone: 908-369-2200
Saturday, November 9, 10:30am - Retrain Your Brain for Success
Northampton Community College, PA
Phone: 570-369-1881
Tuesday, November 12, 7pm - Positive Aging
Princeton Adult School, NJ
Phone: 609-683-1101
Wednesday, November 13 10:30am - Emotional Detox- Dealing with Difficult People
Mount Saint Mary College, Desmond Campus
Phone: 845-565-2076
Thursday, November 14, 7pm - Stop Taking It So Personally
Morristown Community School, NJ
Phone: 973-292-2063
Tuesday, November 19, 7pm - Emotional Detox - Dealing with Difficult People
Bernards Township Public Library, NJ
Phone: 908-204-3031
Wednesday, November 20, 7pm - Stress Less, Savor More
The Adult School, NJ
Phone: 973-442-9222
Saturday, November 23, 11am - Dealing with Holiday Stress
Cedar Grove Public Library, NJ
Phone: 973-239-1447
Tuesday, November 26, 6:30pm - Stop Beating Yourself Up and Take Action
Russel Public Library, CT
Phone:860-347-2528
About Diane Lang...
Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
As a Therapist, Educator and Positive Living Expert, Diane has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally.
Through her three books, “Creating Balance & Finding Happiness”, “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career” and “ Mindfully Happy- waking up to life.” Diane has been speaking and empowering people nationwide. She is also an Adjunct in Psychology at Montclair State University, where her college work includes mentoring students for personal issue advisement.
As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record, Family Circle, Family Magazine, Working Mother Magazine and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV, Good day CT, Style CT, The Veira Network, CBS TV and “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet.
For more information please visit: www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane at [email protected]