10 Secrets to a great Family Dinner

Families come to the table for food and they stay for the fun!

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How would you like to turn your table into a place of laughter, joy, and meaningful conversation?

Would you like to transform your table into a cherished time that every family member looks forward too??

Did you know that the dinner table is essential in developing healthier happier kids?

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60 years ago family dinner time looked very different than it does today. The average meal lasted 90 minutes and there were not as many distractions. It was common for most families to eat dinner around the table.

?Today, American dinners on average are less than 12 minutes and consists of a variety of quick convenient options. We are inundated with cell phones, work phones, television, and social media not to mention our children’s busy activity schedule. It is no longer a priority.

The research regarding the importance of mealtime is powerful. Did you know that according to the Journal of Adolescent Health more frequent family dinners are related to fewer emotional and behavioral problems?? They also state that family dinners have a direct correlation to “…great emotional well-being, more trusting and helpful behaviors, and higher life satisfaction. Psychology Today echoes the same message, “Teens who regularly eat dinner with family are less likely to engage in illicit behavior and are more likely to get better grades.”? The American College of pediatricians published a great article also emphasizing the importance of family dinners. They agree with all the other research and state that family dinner provides young children a great sense of comfort and security.?

With all this great research available to us, why do we still resist the idea of family dinners?

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Below are 10 simple steps to help create meaningful, stress-free, family dinners:

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1.?????? Make it a priority.

Sit down with your family and discuss the importance of having family dinners. Decide together how many times per week your family can commit to gathering around the table. Most research suggests a minimum of 3 times per week but the more often the better. Create a list of things that might get in the way of accomplishing your family goal. Discuss how your family will choose to address those obstacles.

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2.?????? Involve the whole family.

One of the biggest deterrents for having family dinners is the amount of time and planning that is required to put dinner on the table.? The key here is not to have one person do it all. Delegate responsibility! Kids love being given jobs. It provides a sense of ownership and belonging. ?For 3 great ideas on how to involve the family click here.

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Extra: ?Assign them jobs or better yet give them the ability to pick the menu for the night. Involve them in the grocery shopping or table setting.? A few great ideas that involve the whole family are setting up your own Iron Chef competition. Pick 2 or 3 ingredients and each family member makes a dish using those ingredients. Another twist on Iron Chef is picking one ingredient and having each family member cook a dish (appetizer, salad, main course, and dessert) using that one ingredient. For example you could choose Apples or an herb/spice and each dish would need to contain that ingredient.? How about choosing a theme for dinner and have the entire family come in costume? 50’s diner, Aloha Nights, Disney Days. The options are endless.? Or how about transforming into your favorite restaurant? Let the kids print out menus and take orders. Have your favorite restaurant food in the comfort of your own home!

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3.?????? Choose a specific location.

By choosing the same location to eat dinner, it creates a safe place and consistency for the kids. Make sure your location has a seat for everyone and feels comfortable. I would highly encourage families to refrain from retreating to the couch.

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4.?????? Turn off distractions

?On average we pick up our phones 96 times per day which is about every ten minutes. Studies are beginning to show that this behavior is starting to adversely affect our focus and attention. When we sit down to dinner with our family, the goal is to be present in the conversation and actively listening. If we have our phones or the television on, we will not be able to achieve that goal. There is no such thing as multitasking at the dinner table.

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5.?????? Be a Role Model

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The family table is one of the few places children are able to observe their parents interactions.? This is a time that we can model manners and proper table etiquette, show our children how to actively engage with one another, choose our moods, and authentically and respectfully share about what is going on in our world.? The examples that you set today will become a road map for your kids down the road.

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6.?????? Avoid Conflict

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The table is not the time or place to bring up disciplinary items. Refrain from constantly correcting your child or discussing wrongdoing. We want kids to look forward to mealtime, not view it as a time where they get judged, corrected, and feel bad about themselves. ?

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7.?????? Encourage Positive Conversation

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Studies show that more family talk occurs during mealtime than during any other activity including playtime. Click here for some great conversation starters.

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8.?????? Make it fun

Think of ways that you can add laughter and fun to your dinner table. This keeps the family motivated to continue the family tradition. Here are 10 simple games that you begin playing today.

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9.?????? Be flexible

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Allow the dinner table time to organically develop. Sometimes the best conversations come out of nowhere.? If dinner is too difficult for family, try breakfast or a family snack. What works for one family, won’t work for all families.

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10.?? Connect

Food connects people. First dates, celebrations, special occasions, holidays, they all revolve around food. Food is the gateway to deep connection and bonding. Use this special mealtime to create traditions, learn about one another, and grow as a family. Your legacy starts at the dinner table!

If you would like a complimentary copy of our popular conversation cards click here