10 Recommended Books and When to Read Them - My Coach's Bookshelf

As part of my Integral Coaching certification with New Ventures West, we were required to start a 'coach's bookshelf' to support our coaching practice. I've maintained this practice and want to share the current iteration of my bookshelf with you. These 10 books have contributed significantly to my growth as a coach and to my clients' development. I hope you find them supportive.

Training in Compassion by Norman Fischer

When to read: If you're feeling like everything is falling apart, you're stuck in a spiral of self-loathing or blaming others, or you simply want to be more compassionate.

Think compassion is something you either have or you don't? Think again. We can all be compassionate, and this book is our guide for training our compassion, just like we might train to do a pull-up or a 5k. Fischer provides not only a deep understanding of what compassion is but also ancient practices for nurturing it within ourselves. You’ll get something from this book no matter what your life circumstances are - in fact, I reread it regularly and always find something supportive when I do. This is my most recommended book to clients and my most gifted book to friends and family.?

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

When to read: If you feel burnt out, fantasize about disappearing, feel taken advantage of, or have no time for yourself.

Tawwab not only makes a strong case for setting healthy boundaries but also provides clear instructions on how to do it. She's honest about the discomfort that often comes with boundary-setting while emphasizing the long-term benefits. This book is great for those struggling to say 'no' and wanting to reclaim their time and energy.

Getting Along: How to Work With Anyone (Even Difficult People) by Amy Gallo

When to read: If you're struggling with difficult coworkers to the point where it’s impacting your quality of life.

I once quit a job I loved just to avoid working with an incredibly disagreeable colleague. If you're in a similar situation, Gallo's book is a lifesaver. She provides a practical guide to working with the eight common types of difficult people: the pessimist, the victim, the passive-aggressive peer, the insecure boss, the know-it-all, the biased coworker, the tormentor, and the political operator. For each type, she offers tactical, sound advice on how to work with (or around) them effectively.?

Social Chemistry by Marissa King

When to read: If you want to build your network for your job search, to build your business, or to expand your scope but find traditional networking uncomfortable.

King's book offers a deep analysis of social networks, helping readers shift their perspective on networking and gain more agency in creating the social connections they desire. I've found this book particularly helpful for clients who know they 'should' be networking but resist it because it feels unnatural or even a bit icky.

Bittersweet by Susan Cain

When to read: If you've received feedback about ignoring or pushing aside others' emotions and want to develop your emotional intelligence to better connect with, comfort, and inspire others.

Cain's book explores the beauty in the emotions we often avoid, particularly melancholy and sorrow. As someone who once viewed emotions as a distraction in the way of progress, I appreciate the way Cain savors the bittersweet. Though not a step-by-step guide, it's an excellent starting point for those looking to develop greater emotional intelligence and empathy.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

When to read: If you're feeling overwhelmed, can't keep up with your commitments, or find yourself resentful of the supposedly fulfilling things in your life.

Contrary to what the title might suggest, this book isn't about not caring at all. Instead, it encourages you to identify which things truly matter and let go of the rest. It's a funny, accessible, and surprisingly poignant book about gaining perspective and taking accountability for your life. It’s also great if you happen to enjoy well-placed F-bombs.

Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke?

When to read: If you find yourself compulsively checking work emails at night, unable to relax on vacation, or returning from time off feeling just as exhausted as before.

Most of us are unwitting addicts, with work, social media, or food as our socially acceptable drugs. Lembke explains how our brains respond to the dopamine these 'drugs' produce, leading to anxiety, depression, and pain. I've found this book eye-opening for clients who can't seem to unplug or truly relax. It offers practical strategies for balancing dopamine levels - useful if you want to hop off the hedonic treadmill and actually enjoy your life.

The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope

When to read: If you're searching for meaning in your work, hitting a career plateau, or have lost sight of why you're doing what you're doing.

Using the Bhagavad Gita as his inspiration, Cope provides a step-by-step process for finding and engaging in your life's work. It's particularly helpful for those questioning their career path or seeking greater purpose in their professional lives.

From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks

When to read: If you're reaching a point in your career where constant high-intensity work isn't sustainable anymore, or when achievements no longer fuel your productivity.

Brooks addresses an uncomfortable truth about aging and slowing down - it’s coming for all of us - but also offers research-backed ideas for thriving in the latter part of your career and life. It's particularly relevant for those considering retiring or starting a second career later in life.

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman?

When to read: If you're constantly feeling like you can't keep up with everything on your plate and you've already tried all the productivity hacks.

Burkeman's approach to time management is built upon a stark reminder: we are all going to die. The title refers to the average human lifespan - about 4,000 weeks. I've found this sobering yet liberating perspective transformative for clients caught in the endless cycle of optimization and efficiency. While the book offers great tips for managing our time, it stays grounded in the fact that we're mortal and can't, in fact, do it all. Burkeman helps us get real about what we're trying to accomplish before applying any 'productivity hacks.' This book is particularly useful if you've been postponing enjoying life until after you get everything done. It helps us see that we'll never get it all done, so we might as well start enjoying our limited time now.

?If you’ve read all of these, hit me up and I’ll send you the next 10 on my shelf.