10 REASONS YOU ARE NOT GROWING

Embarking on a journey of personal or professional development is a commendable pursuit, yet many individuals find themselves grappling with stagnant growth. They often ask, "Why am I not growing as a person?". This article delves into the intricacies of this common struggle, exploring ten key reasons that might be hindering your progress. Whether it's a lack of clarity in goals, resistance to change, or the absence of a growth mindset, understanding these obstacles is the first step toward overcoming them. Join us on this insightful exploration as we uncover the barriers preventing your growth and discover actionable strategies to propel you towards the path of continuous improvement. Shall we?

1. Your Deceit

Time without numbers, we express deceit in our affairs till it becomes our reality.

For example, you said, "I will meet you there tomorrow." But you never showed up. You thought you scoped the victim; instead, you put your ability to stick to your words at risk. Hence, when you promise yourself to do something about your life, you see yourself finding it difficult to do it.

Are you doubting this? I ask you then: how many goals have you set that you haven't met?

2. Your Procrastination

When you have gotten so used to deceiving others, you automatically start deceiving yourself to the point that you postpone assignments that you should do now.

I love this Bill Gate quote from Business at the speed of thought: "If you have an inspiration, do something about it within the next 24 hours; otherwise, odds may be against you ever doing it."

3. Your desire

Until your desires shift from want to need, you may still be struggling to start your process of growth.

If you haven't seen your growth as indispensable, you won't grow intentionally. For example, you told yourself, "I will get a house before this year runs out..." but it is still a want, not a need. A need is when you tell yourself, "Without my house this year, I can't survive." This desperation will make you relentlessly focused on your growth.

Furthermore, if you haven't seen growth as a must-have, you will not grow towards your desire.

For some time now, I have been struggling with my personal growth just like you, but a few months ago, I told myself that growth is just inevitable for me and that tendering towards the direction I want it to go is how I will realize it. So, if I do not act today, scratch that; if I do not act now, I won't attain my desired result.

Start seeing your growth as your oxygen and be intentional about its purity.

4. Your Perception

Yes! You heard me right. Your perception is another reason why you are not growing.

Most times, we see growth as an insurmountable mountain that we need to work so hard at to reach its peak.

No. Growth is totally different from goals. Oops. Did I just affect you there? In my earliest example about yourself getting your house, if you'd noticed, I didn't say, "Without a house this year, I will not survive." Nope. That would be goal speaking, not growth. Growth would rather say, "House is inevitable to my survival." Then, it makes you grow into it.

Growth won't say, "Commit suicide or feel depressed because you didn't attain an objective." Rather, it will remind you that it is a phase; you still have another chance at it. Keep growing.

So, check your perception of growth. Is it not goals you have been setting instead of you to grow?

5. Your peer

There is a saying. Two actually. The first says, "Show me your friend(s), and I will tell you who you are." The second is like it. "You are the fifth type of your four friends."

What does this mean? If your four friends are wealthy or growth-oriented, you will grow as well. But if they are otherwise, i.e. poor, exhausted, disturbed, etc., you will be their fifth.

Therefore, examine your friends. They are you.

6. Your "giving up easily"

I told you earlier that you don't have to see growth as a goal; otherwise, you will be tired. For growth, it is the process and your appreciation of each task as it comes.

Know this: some of these tasks will be your own doing. Yes. You caused it. But growth will not allow you to give up, even when you are the cause; instead, it will let you become proactive. By asking you, "What next?"

It doesn't even stop here. Goal will rather tell you, "So what?" It will shout in your ear, "K. M. F., keep moving forward."

Goals are an appetizer, while growth is the full course. When you miss a goal, growth cheers you along. "Let's try again," it says.

Before I conclude this section, instead of blaming others, blame yourself. Having a sense of responsibility gives us a high chance of not giving up. Instead, it allows us to get things done when others won't.

I wrote a personal story on my LinkedIn timeline that would prove to you that persistency pays.

7. Your Haste

You can't speed up the process of pregnancy by impregnating nine women at once.

Festina lante which means "Hasten Slowly," is the watchword for anyone who wants to grow. Growth is not a rush. I was reading a few days ago the unicorn story of Air BnB. What was striking for me was that it didn't become a unicorn in 5 years. The company, founded in 2007, got its first billion-dollar valuation in 2014 at $10 billion. Hence, it is time that works for growth, not one's speed. Invest in growth, and you will succeed.

In my story , I spoke of how I persistently invested in my growth in design. I am a member of the Interaction Design Foundation (IxDF) . So, I am sharing with you resources from this foundation that can help you begin your journey of growth now.

8. Your complaint

Many a time, we complain so much about things that we can change.

In fact, it was said that people don't complain about what they can't change; instead, they use it to their advantage.

For example, nobody complains about gravity pulling them down. Or have you seen anyone say, "Oh, you gravity! Because of you, I can't float in the air." Instead of blaming gravity for our inability to float through the air, we would rather board flights to our destinations. We even went as far as employing it in our sports.

9. Your consistency

This, right here, is the evidence of focus.

It was said that "if you keep axing a tree at a spot every day with a single stroke, before you get to the 100th day, the tree will fall."

The only way to grow is your keeping at it. Even, when it seems you are not getting it, just keep at it. Let me share an example with you.

There was this old fisherman whose name is Rock. On this fateful day, a unique and awesome being came to him. He asked him to lend him his boat. He willingly gave it out, and the man used his boat as his podium for his speech.

Seeing the old fisherman, this unique being had to give him a direction on how to throw his net so he could catch fish. Meanwhile, he was about to give up; he had been at it all night. Just like you, he was about to give up on his growth. He had caught nothing.

I guess that's why he could easily let go of his boat to a talker. Unknowingly to him, this talker is not just any kind. His words hold power.

So, he instructed him to throw his net in a specific direction. Voilà. His nets got so full that he couldn't bring all the fish in by himself alone. In fact, his net got torn. Did he obey the instruction at once? Not at all, just like I told you, a complaint is a hindrance, and he complained too. Your guess is as right as any on that, but let's leave that to another time.

Now imagine that he had given up. Imagine that he wasn't fishing that day. JUST IMAGINE. You will agree with me that consistency pays.

10. Your ego.

Before I stated this, I wanted to say your faith or your belief. Then I told myself that our ego could even be mistaken for belief or faith.

Imagine that the old fisherman was egoistic like you. And he didn't throw in the direction instructed by a talker. What would he have caught?

You would think that was all the benefit of the talker to the fisherman. No. That wasn't all. This mysterious and ever-knowing man asked him to follow him. This man is called 'The word'. He told him, let me make you a fisher of men.

The difference between a fisherman and a fisherman of men is so wide that if I start the analysis here, we won't finish it in writing and reading.

Many of us had been instructed by the word inside us to stop what we were holding onto and take a better offer. We didn't yield, because the one we are holding onto just yielded a million Naira in revenue. Meanwhile, a buyer is ready to offer more, but "no," we are holding on to that lucrative one in our eyes.

Another one is this: based on my personal 2023 experience, you know deep down in you that God (your creator) beckons at you to change your ways so you can be better and grow beautifully. But you won't yield. You are waiting until it is late. You say, "KFC was discovered at an old age." So true. Imagine that it was 12 years earlier. Yes. There will always seem to be a consolation that it doesn't matter what age you get it done, but you know the strength of a 25-year-old man is not the same as that of a 65-year-old. How sure are you that you will make it another day? Do you ever know 100 percent what tomorrow brings? Do you know that we have many brilliant people under the grave? Someone once said that the most untapped values in life are hidden in the burial ground. And that is what I called, "So late."

Finally, the top reason why men don't grow is that they don't identify that a creator exists for them, carefully locate the Manufacturer Instruction Manual (M.I.B.), and follow the instructions carefully by yielding fully to the creator. I am therefore advising you to carefully give it all up to the creator.

In 2020, I gave it all I could to be able to at least learn from the best in design and creativity. I saw an opportunity with the M.I.T. professional course and IDxF but I can't afford it. Come 2023, here I am becoming a member of IDxF by just yielding it all to the creator and taking it one step at a time. The Creator creates time and has never been trapped in or by time.

You can read this story here, or start your journey as a designer here.