10 reasons why cancer has been good for me, my family and my business!!

Did that get your attention? Good. Now that I have your attention, the first thing I have to say is: I DO NOT RECOMMEND CANCER! In the words of my husband, ‘Cancer gets zero stars.’ However, when you are faced with a crisis or difficult situation, as many of us are every day, often the only thing we have control over is how we deal with it.

Twelve months ago, my husband Simon Senior was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer and, needless to say, it was a rollercoaster ride of an experience for all of us. This is the case for my husband, of course, but also for our two sons, his family, my family, our friends, our colleagues and so many other people around us.

As a leadership coach I spend many hours every day talking and thinking about what makes a great leader and one of the key factors that comes up is openness and vulnerability. And yet, going through this recent tough experience helped me to realise that I, perhaps, have not been as open and vulnerable as I should be.

While close friends, family and colleagues obviously know about our situation, I have not shared the information more broadly in my business life. Why? Because I am concerned about the judgement that may occur.

As the Founder and CEO of PEEPLCOACH , I was – and still am – concerned that when potential customers or investors, especially future investors, find out about my home situation they will have doubts about my ability to lead and grow this business, or about our ability to deliver.

Over the last 12 months I – and the family – have had many ‘worst day of my life’ moments. But I have also had a number of incredible and ‘best day of my life’ experiences. It is because of this that I want to share with you, openly and vulnerably, and in no particular order, the ten ways in which cancer has been good for me, my family and my business.

1.?????There is no more wasting time.

When we have something in abundance – for example, water, money, time or love – we waste it. Since Simon’s diagnosis, as a family we now know that time is precious and limited. Accordingly, there is less wasting time. We are more deliberate and purposeful in how we use our time and who we spend it with.

For me, knowing time is scarce means I am more focused in both work and in life. What are critical activities and what are just nice to do if I can? What activities will move me forward more quickly? I no longer let other people set my agenda. I control and manage my own time. In business, this focus has allowed me to prioritise and say no to the noise. I am more effective, efficient and impactful.

2.?????We have embraced clearer communication.

With less time, I have less patience for beating around the bush when it comes to communication. Whether the message is ‘Thank you, I think you are great’ or ‘Hey, that doesn’t work for me – can we discuss this?’, I recommend saying it now and saying it clearly, so that everyone understands. Then move on.

We now have more ‘radically candid’ conversations at home and at work. We talk about interesting things and funny things, about solving problems and about making a difference. We do not spend time gossiping, complaining or blaming.

3.?????I have learned to ask for help.

No one is an island and even less so when there is a crisis. When you ask, you will find that there are so many incredible people who are there to help. However, too often, our ego and fears get in the way of asking for or accepting assistance. Too often we think that if we ask for help, others will think we’re weak, not coping, or simply not good enough. That is rarely the case. Be brave and ask for the support you need and deserve.

4.?????Delegation is now a must.

This might sound odd, but I think that Simon having cancer has been a real benefit to my team.

As the founder of Peeplcoach, so much of the business is in my head – how we do things, why we do things and even when we do things. With more demands on my time, I realised two things: firstly, that I need to make myself redundant by creating and codifying the systems and processes needed for the business to grow, and secondly, that I need to step away to delegate and thereby empower the team.

The reality was (and is) that as a founder, I probably get in the way too often. We have the most incredible team at Peeplcoach, and it has been interesting to watch how much more we have moved forward in the last 12 months since Simon’s diagnosis as I have been more absent and others have had the space to step in. They always had the potential but I was taking up the room they needed to be the awesome people they are.

5.?????We all take time to stop and smell the roses (literally).

We can no longer travel overseas, and we don’t have the energy for a big social life and late-night boozy dinners. First-world problem I know! So, we now have the time to slow down, relax and enjoy our home and our environment. Spending time walking, going to the beach, even in the winter, or simply doing nothing makes for a very calm and relaxed life.

Simon is teaching himself coding; I am having surfing lessons and cooking more at home. Perhaps we were already trained, through Covid, to entertain ourselves. But spending more time at home with the family and less time rushing around has definitely benefited us all.

6.?????We focus on doing what brings us joy.

We all do things we don’t want to do. Sometimes, we have no choice – washing the dishes, driving the kids to school and going to the dentist all have to be done whether we like it or not. But many things we do out of habit or obligation, such as spending time with people we might not have much in common with just because we have been friends for a long time; volunteering at the local sports club because we feel guilty if we don’t; or accepting someone’s poor behaviour because we don’t want to cause waves. I now happily say ‘no’ to those sorts of unnecessary obligations. If you are dreading catching up for that coffee with someone, or taking on those extra work duties that aren’t really part of your role, then don’t do it.

We all theoretically know that time is short, but we don’t act like we know. We tend to optimistically believe that we will die peacefully in our beds in our 90s with our family beside us and that we will have the time to do everything we want to do. But the sad reality, as my son told me the other day, is that only one out of eight of us die of old age. The rest of us will likely die of heart disease, cancer, stroke, dementia, road accident or suicide. Grim, I know, but if you accept this, do you really want your last activity to be that dinner with people you don’t really enjoy spending time with anymore, or a meeting with that boss who drains the life from you?

7.?????Life has to be taken less seriously.

Recently, when being interviewed by a group of business advisors, I was asked, ‘What is keeping you up at night?’ My answer was ‘Nothing.’ My biggest problem is my husband’s cancer, and I cannot solve that. Other than that, every other problem – especially every work problem – is solvable. Where I used to panic about a bad month in sales or a program that didn’t work, I now see these ‘failures’ for exactly what they are – opportunities to learn and do better. And it is funny: the less emotional you are about a situation, the more rationally and logically you can approach the problem and, usually, find a better decision more quickly. Less emotion also leads to better communication. When things go wrong, instead of blaming yourself or others, there is space for constructive conversations about the problem, rather than destructive conversations about the people.

8.?????We’ve found out what people are made of.

When put under pressure, carbon can become graphite or a diamond. These two minerals are identical chemically – both are composed of carbon. But physically, they are very different in terms of both performance and value. Graphite is used in pencils, while diamonds are one of the strongest minerals in the world.

When faced with a crisis, some people become stronger and clearer, like diamonds, while others do not.

This experience has allowed me to see what people are really made of. I was, and continue to be, surprised by the reactions of people when I tell them of our situation. Luckily for us, 99% of the people around us are diamonds. For those who are not, I refer back to points 1 and 6 – no more wasting time or spending time with people who do not bring me joy.

9.?????We have defined our legacy.

There is nothing like being forced to contemplate mortality to make you think about your legacy. How do you want to be remembered and what do you want to achieve? I am not going to share my legacy goals here. Some things should be kept private. But it’s fair to say that people, experiences, joy and the difference I can make in the world are far more important to me than assets, titles or the size of the number on a bank statement.

10.?From the mouths of babes comes great insight.

My 15-year-old son was asked to write a narrative for his English class this week and the topic was fear. Bravely, he chose to write about his father’s cancer. To say that this was a proud mummy moment is an understatement. The last line of his raw, real and emotional piece was ‘Only acceptance can bring mental bliss.’ Some of the situations we find ourselves in seem unfair or cruel. Sme are within our control, and some are not. But if we do not learn to accept our situations without blame or anger we will never find peace or bliss.

?My husband’s cancer has been a truly testing experience for him and our whole family, as well as for our wider network of friends and relations. While I would never recommend serious illness to anyone, it is undeniable that this challenging situation has taught us all some very valuable lessons. I can honestly say that, despite the hardship and the heartbreak, the experience has ultimately made me, my family, my team and the Peeplcoach business stronger, not weaker.

Thank you also to those "diamonds" who have, and continue, to support us especially the team at PEEPLCOACH James Chisholm Zana Ballantyne Stephen Jackel Faydra Khor Jo Hart Michael Rainey Richard Tootill Agnel D'Souza Angela Zegir , our suppliers Jenni Nash Julia Cameron Nigel Rausch Krys Sutton Janine Baird Jordan McFadyen Cara Stewart , our investors Justin Punch , John Odlum , Sean Hallahan GAICD , Simon Betschel and John Davies and all our incredible Master Coaches. We have too many to mention all but I would particularly like to thank a few who knew us when we (Peeplcoach) were small and are still on the ride with us. Jillian Bolger, PCC. Virginia Aldred Di Kanagalingam Dianne Flemington, PCC, ORSCC, CTPC, BBCC Doug Binns Sean O'Leary ACC AIECL , Rob Watson (He/Him) Bryan Carroll , Kaye Brett Natalie Hormann Jinn Kan Vanessa Jones I would also thank all our clients who have trusted us with their teams but there are too many!!! You know who you are.

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