10 Principles I wish I would have known earlier... A letter to my daughters; and to all youth out there

Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, was quoted saying that "change is the only constant in life.” It’s something that I have learnt the hard way, and by time, it has become inevitable that we should embrace change, no matter how difficult it may be.

Many years ago, I had to take off and kickstart my career in a new country with a new challenge?. It was exciting, stressful and intimidating at first. Leaving so many things behind, and getting outside my comfort zone to work somewhere that I had never been, made me feel nothing but anxious.?

A young man - carrying so much worry about the future, and of getting outside this zone.?

Till someone told me, “your career comfort zone is a dangerous trap; you have to learn how to get out of it.” Fast forward 2 decades later, my journey wouldn’t have been the same without the transformations and transitions I went through.??

Reflecting on all of this was a result of a conversation I had with my two daughters; Maysoon and Mayada, who are soon-to-be university graduates, both in different fields.?

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They came to me last week with this fear of the unknown..the uncertain future.. The anxiety about the transition from university to workforce, and most importantly, the worry of finding the right job.

It took me a while to reflect, look back and think about what they are going through, and give them a piece of advice that would actually work.?

Apparently, this fear is more common than I thought; it’s not only my daughters, it’s a state of uncertainty that all, or most of university fresh graduates are going through.

While I think it’s important to navigate your uncharted territory on your own, I want to share 10 principles that I wish I would’ve known in an earlier stage of my life. To Maysoon, Mayada and everyone going through this transition - this is an open letter to you.

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1.?????Reflect

Now is the time to reflect on your journey and past experiences. Beginning a new chapter means you move from just experiencing, into understanding. It encourages a level of self-awareness and consciousness that enables you to deeply think deeply about your future.?

So remember to pause, reflect and reimagine your tomorrow.

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2.??????Discover yourself

It’s okay to take time to discover yourself... and to understand what you really want.. or don't want. Discovering yourself does n’t happen overnight. It is a process - or as I like to call it; a journey.

More often than not, self-discovery might sound like an intimidating concept, but it’s really just a process of exploring your passion and asking yourself questions.

There’s no one-size-fits-all guide when it comes to self-exploration. We’re all different. But when you kick start this journey, you’ll find your “why”.?

And when you find your “why”, everything else will make sense.?

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3.??????Be Patient

One of the hardest skills to master in life is learning to stay patient. . It takes time to develop a direction that you can feel in-the-bones. I read once something that stuck out to me; which is “instead of following your passion, you have to foster your passion”.

So when looking out for a job that suits you, know that it’s not about that job, it’s about the purpose you’re seeking.

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4.?????Confidence is key?

Confidence. The core of everything.

It’s not something that is hard-wired; it takes time to build confidence. Having this self-belief in your own abilities is an asset itself.

It’s important though to identify the thin line between confidence and arrogance. Know what you want, where you want to go, and what is important to you. It’s about having a positive mindset and self-motivation to develop.

It can help you make a difference. It can help you be the difference.

5.???????????Embrace learning

As a firm believer of the importance of life-long learning, my advice is to develop your desire to learn and expand your skill-set with knowledge, experience and practicality.

Graduating college does not mean that your learning journey has stopped. It has rather begun. Know that advancement does not happen while you’re standing still.

The world is evolving by the minute, prioritizing and embracing learning will open you never thought existed.

6.???????????Make mistakes

We all learn by examples and mistakes. Willing to make mistakes and acknowledging them is a very important step towards putting the lessons you learn into practice.?

When you think of the biggest mistake you’ve ever made…think if anyone even remembers them - and if you learned something from them? This ownership is an act of courage that is beyond valuable.

7.???????????Culture can be learnt

This was the core of my conversation with Maysoon and Mayada.

“What if I join a team that I don’t belong to?; What if the culture in the workplace isn’t in-sync with my culture?”

It was a series of “what ifs” that overwhelmed me as a father. This worry of not fitting in holds you back. Don’t waste your mental energy carrying this baggage, instead know that cultures can be learnt and acquired, as long as they match your values.

When you cultivate this mindset, your validation comes from the quality of the work you do, and the amount of effort you put in. You feel good knowing you gave your best, regardless of praise or criticism.

8.???????????Know that values matter

What you deeply value influences your behavior, work, relationships and so much more. They’re like fingerprints. And they make up the foundation of identities.

Embrace your values, and understand that they shape you. In an ideal world, we’re aware of our values as people and corporations. “When we are who we say we are, and do what we say we will do, we are perceived as consistent, authentic, and trustworthy.”

9.???????????There’s no right or wrong. There is perspective.

Life after graduation comes with so many different perspectives and expectations. You’ll find that you and your peers would go in different directions. When this happens, know that there’s no right or wrong direction or decision.

There’s no “right” job, there’s a job that teaches you; one that suits you in this stage of your life.

Do not worry if you do not know what you want your career path to be yet. You are just starting the journey to find yourself. Just give it a try.

10.????????Reframe your thoughts, always

It needs practice. To replace your negative thoughts with balanced ones is key to?break the cycles of stress, anxiety, and depression that you might find themselves stuck in.

When you attempt reframing, you’ll become more aware of how your thoughts are connected to how you feel and accordingly react.

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Dear soon-to-be fresh graduates: you will occasionally be tempted to base your identity solely on your achievements. You are valuable and worthy with or without a title, and with or without an accomplishment. The world needs a passionate person seeking purpose more than it needs skilled professionals.

I hope the above 10 principles help ease your journey and make it more enjoyable.