10 Practical Ways to Improve Social Skills to Decrease Anxiety

Do you worry you have no social skills or?people think you’re socially awkward?

Some of us feel like we don’t know what to talk about with others because deep down we think we’re stupid or not funny. A common tendency is either rambling on and on nervously or?not saying anything at all.

Personally, when I was on my journey of dealing with social anxiety I discovered I must learn how to improve my social skills. Some with social anxiety don’t have a problem with social skills, whereas many others do face an issue or confusion around how to socialize.

Social anxiety has many layers and one of those?is in fact your social skills.?

We feel like we don’t really know?how to introduce ourselves?to others or what to talk about with people we may have never met or are unfamiliar around. It’s a very common story and we will address how to navigate this problem into a solution.

What’s important to start with is…?

Words are Sort of Meaningless

Did you know most of our communication with others has almost nothing to do with words??

The exact number is anywhere between?7-55%?of our communication has to do with the actual words & language we use to convey a message. The rest?(45-93%) is a mixture of?vocal tone,?body language,?facial mannerisms, and other hidden and subtle features which have existed for thousands of years for humans to authentically pick up on each other’s truth amidst the puzzle of language and human survival.?

What a lot of us don't realize is that if you are not a naturally charismatic person and didn’t have super social parents that taught you the ins and outs of communication then you are?more than likely going to be socially awkward?by your nature.?

Who knew making eye contact with others is important in establishing a connection built on trust??

Who knew depending on how your leg position rests for example enables the other person to?unconsciously realize you are socially anxious and uncomfortable??

Which in turn makes the?other person want to end the conversation?early with you or not go in too deep because they think you are shy and uncomfortable and don't want to talk to them.?

All of these things that I learned then, looking back at my life made perfect sense.?

It's not like people didn't like me but they thought?I didn't like them based on my body language?and other mannerisms presented to people without me knowing it came off as shy and anxious.

On my adventure when I began to learn more about body language like:?

• Biting my fingernails
• My shoulder being hunched backward
• Twisting or tapping my legs
• My default facial expression

All of these are massive elements to learn about social anxiety because if you are acting a certain way in your body, you send a message to your mind, then your mind looks at your body and gets even more anxious and nervous through the body <> mind connection.

Perhaps the most important element in body language is not necessarily how it will make you feel?but how it will make other people feel.?For the longest time throughout my life, I genuinely thought people didn’t like me, and whenever I would speak people didn’t like what they heard.?

Now I know it’s not even because my words weren’t powerful or legitimate but?I didn’t know how to properly communicate?words, let alone other aspects of communication that can be more powerful than words like body language and other visual and vocal cues…

Focus on How to Improve Your Communication Skills:

1. Body & Neck Posture.?Pretend there’s a string that pulls up your head straight at all times. Stand with your shoulders back straight like a superman pose. When sitting the same run applies, don’t hunch over.?
2. Use your hands?and open your palms. Don’t keep your hands by your side or not moving or unseen like a robot to the person speaking with you.?But also don’t get overactive and pretend as if you’re directing puppets with your hands frantically.?
3. Don’t excessively tap your legs?or twist them together. You want to have a stable foundation with your feet as to where you are standing with someone else. Over agitation makes anxiety worse…
4. You may realize when you are in a socially anxious position?your body gets tenser and stressed. Exercising to release energy as well as body relaxation techniques like?Yoga?and even static?stretching?can greatly your body's stability & ability to handle tension on a daily basis.
5. Unclench your jaw?by leaving a small amount of space in between your lips. Be mindful of your facial expressions as much as possible. Are you smiling? Are you frowning? Do you look annoyed? How would you look to a bystander?
6. Don’t breathe unconsciously.?Often this looks like barely breathing or inhaling & exhaling like a submachine gun. Focus on taking somewhat deep slow controlled breaths through your nose to the bottom of your lungs, in and out. I also recommend joining a breathwork technique or program. I am a fan of the Brthwork app :)
7. Practice talking and clear articulation.?Read a book and try to pronounce every single word clearly again and again. You can do this in front of the mirror and other exercises with your lips to improve voice clarity, don’t mumble. I literally remember when I was doing this I would stand in the front of the mirror with a book and clearly focus on each word and proper pronunciation.?
8. Unless you don’t have social anxiety,?always speak louder than you think you sound. Having a loud and clear voice will make you a beacon of communication, not an invisible shy person. We often speak quietly without thinking about it.?
9. Eye contact?is important! Read my article on this?here.
10. Experiment.?There is not one magic size formula that fits all. Play around you can always practice with strangers because you’ll never see them again.?

Note:?In the beginning, this is going to feel unnatural and annoying. If you focus on all these steps each day for a year, you’ll never have to think about this again because they’ll be automatic habits.?

PS. Check out my affordable online course I’ve created to help people kick anxiety realistically, check it out here -?markmetry.com/program

?? Have any questions? Feel free to send me a message or email directly to [email protected] :)