10 Points of Phone Ettiquette (from the Olden Days)

The concept of phones sure has changed since I was a kid growing up in the 70’s and 80’s.  Back then phones were used for only a few things…. Talking to friends, family, and calling 911 or the operator for help if needed. Those were the days; party lines, pay phones, rotary phones and yes, they were all LAN lines and they plugged into the wall. Remember always leaving the house with a quarter in your pocket in case you needed to use a call home?  I do. 

Phones were very limited and usually there was only one per household.  If you were lucky your parents had a second ‘kid’ phone line that was a true privilege and you had to earn the right to use it. 

So, what happen to phone etiquette? My parents and grandparents instilled specific phone etiquette that I believe is still relevant and needed today.  There have been some interesting changes during my personal life and professional career due to the advent of the cell phone regarding when and why you call someone. 

Yes, there really are appropriate hours during the day and night to call and/or text people. As digital leashes… (lol, oh, I mean cell phones) have become a standard in today’s world, people seem to feel that’s it’s OK to call and text at any hour, day or night, regardless of your situation. Despite the current social climate, this just is not true.  At least not for those of us raised with phone etiquette and who understand the value of family/personal time.

10 Points of Phone Etiquette from the ‘olden days’: 

1.    Monday through Thursday - no calls during dinner hour:  6pm -7pm. (used to be between 5pm – 6pm, but times have changed)

2.    Sunday - no calls before 12pm Sunday as morning is reserved for church, meditation, family time, self-healing or even just your ‘me-time’ to binge watch your new favorite show and just chill. 

3.    Sunday through Thursday - no calling after 9pm as it is a School Night…. LOL. There two exceptions; emergencies or previously scheduled calls you are expecting.  Another frustrating point is “What is a “true” emergency?” In my mind, true emergencies are defined as: someone’s life is at risk (life or death), a child is in danger or missing, or someone is in distress, i.e. a family member, close friend or neighbor who needs your immediate help.  Everything else can wait.

4.    Monday through Friday - no calling before 7am as it is reserved for family and personal “getting prepared for the day time”.  This is different for everyone. For me, I don’t want to be disturbed while having breakfast with my kids, and I’d like to get my teeth brushed without the phone going off.

5.    ‘Yo! Hey! And What’s up?’  aren’t the way we were taught to answer a phone.  It was “Hello this Mr. Smith, who is calling please?” Caller ID has certainly taken the mystery out of who is calling but a polite “Hi John, what can I help you with today?” can go a long way.  

6.    When the mystery remains because you receive a call from someone who isn’t in your contact list upon asking who is calling again a polite pick-up like “hello this is Joe, who am I speaking with please?”

7.    The use of speaker phones in public is one of my biggest pet peeves. Trust me when I tell you that no one wants to hear you arguing with your significant other, getting into it with your parents who don’t ‘get you’ or bickering over your boss who is a big jerk, while out at a restaurant, in line at a store, in a bathroom, an airport, or train station, you get the idea.  Oh, and that counts towards your music as well.   I don’t play my hard/alt rock music on speakerphone in public because I know some people don’t want to hear it, please, please put your headphones on when you listen you yours!

8.    Phone conversation volume in public– remember your ‘indoor voices’ folks. No one, I repeat, no one wants to hear your phone conversation.  This is for the folks who thankfully don’t use speaker phones but still talk at a volume that can be heard across the room.  Please be considerate of those of us who are meeting business associates over a coffee, catching up with an old friend, or trying to spend time with our families. I have had to navigate some very inappropriate things that my sons heard from people loudly on the phone.  

9.    Not answering the phone.  If I am not answering it means either I can’t or I don’t want to and that’s why I have voicemail set up.  Another pet peeve of mine is the ‘machine gun fired’ text messages after a non-answered call.  I didn’t pick up for a reason; like I’m on a high ladder fixing my deck, I’m in the middle of a serious heart to heart talk with my son, I’m on a date with my wife, or oh my I might be in the bathroom.  Please don’t text me numerous times asking me to call you – again unless it’s a true emergency or a previously scheduled call. 

10. Check in Calls to/from your children are always acceptable any time of day or night…. period!

I know a lot of folks, mostly younger than me will think these tips are worth an eye roll.  I just really miss phone etiquette like I grew up with and there is still a place for phone ‘manners’ in today’s world. Obviously, I’m having a little bit of fun with this walk down memory lane.  Feel free to share your guidelines for cell phone use.