10 Phrases Successful People Avoid (But Losers Use)
Bernard Marr
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Winning and losing are about your frame of mind more than anything else. You can be a successful go-getter working in a mail room just as easily as you can be a loser CEO. By cultivating a winner’s mindset, you’ll set yourself up for greatest success.
Check out the list of phrases below and note any that pop up in your daily lexicon. Eliminating them from your speech will go a long way to eliminating the negative thoughts that go along with them and help you believe that you can succeed.
- That won’t work.
How do you know it won’t work? Even if it’s something that’s been tried before that doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t work this time. Shutting down ideas without trying them is definitely not the mark of a winner. - I can’t do it.
OK, negative Nancy, but guess what? If you can’t do it, chances are they’ll find someone else who can. Instead, approach this from the perspective of what you’ll need to accomplish the task. Do you need more training, more support, more supplies, more time? - Impossible
Things are rarely impossible, so be very careful throwing this word around. In my experience, it often indicates someone closed-minded who can’t see another person’s vision. Rather than declaring it impossible, open your mind to how it might be possible. Brainstorm. Look at the problem from different angles. Nothing amazing was ever created by declaring it impossible. - That’s not fair.
What are we, four-year-olds? Real life isn’t set up to always be fair, and if you find these words coming out of your mouth, you are almost certainly feeling mistreated. Instead of playing the fair card, however, try looking for opportunities to improve the situation. And, understand that sometimes you’re never going to change a situation to make it fair — you might have to go out and create your own, more fair, situation yourself. - It’s not my fault.
It may very well not be your fault, but this phrase assumes that you’re laying the blame somewhere else. And nobody wins the blame game. Instead of focusing on blame, focus on solving the problem. How can you step in and make things right — even if you weren’t the one in the wrong? - I might be able to…
Might is another one of those words like try that set you up to fail. When people use words like this, it’s because they’re expecting not to be able to do whatever is being asked of them. Or, sometimes it’s used grudgingly. A client asks you to go above and beyond your original agreement, and to placate them, you say you “might” be able to add something. In either case, don’t hedge. Stand your ground and say what you mean. - That’s not my job.
One of the things managers loathe to hear. Sometimes, in order to help the team or move up the ladder, you need to step up and do things that might not ordinarily be in your job description. Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of, but try to look at working outside your comfort zone as an opportunity for experience and growth. - Need
Need is a funny word. You need food, water, and shelter. You don’t need that report on time, your team to come in for the weekend, or really anything else at work. You want it. Perhaps you even require it for things to function and flow properly. But do you need it? - I think…
Which sounds more powerful: I think, I believe, or I know? I think can be wishy-washy. Leaders and other successful people are decisive. Go with what you know. - I’ll try.
Take a page from Yoda’s book of wisdom: Do, or do not. There is no try. People tend to use the word try when they want to leave themselves an out, because they consciously or subconsciously don’t believe they can or will accomplish the task.
Obviously, it is not black or white with any of these phrases and there are of course times when you would use them. The point I am trying to make here is more about the mindset and the words we use (as well as the way we say them) are a reflection of that.
These are my top 10, but what are yours? Leave your favorite “loser mindset” phrases in the comments below so that we can add to the list.
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Bernard Marr is a bestselling business author and is globally recognized as an expert in strategy, performance management, analytics, KPIs and big data. His new book is 'Big Data - Using Smart Big Data, Analytics and Metrics To Make Better Decisions and Improve Performance'.
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Poor train, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" Guess no one ever called him a loser to his face, eh?
Strategy and operations consulting
9 年Where does authenticity and honesty fit into this. I appreciate the idea of being positive, motivated, confident etc. However there are a lot of past business situations where I have faced significant problems by: - people not being clear on what they can't do - people stating something as if it's a fact, when it was just their 'thinking' - people being scared to 'try' and ending up sick from stress and over work due to the need to 'do' regardless of anything. This is particularly true in project and initiative management. I need honesty. I don't need 'yes men' or people telling me what I want to hear so they look good within the organisation. Need vs. want - if you consider financial services and regulatory reporting, I would say a huge volume of reports actually are needed. The result of them not being produced can be anything from a fine to a prison sentence. I do like your article, but I feel your perspective is a little one sided.
Financial Reporting Accountant (FRA) Nutrition & Santé
9 年I agree with you. "That won’t work". If you don't try it you must not say it. "I can’t do it". You must not quit it without trying it. "Impossible". Nothing is impossible. "It’s not my fault". I don't look for guilties, I look for solutions. "I'll try it", "I might be able to". It sounds like a excuse. "That’s not my job". You must not focus on your job description, you must go out of your comfort zone for growing . A new task is an opportunity.
Land man
9 年This is another one of those silly articles that make the site look bad. There are times when these phrases are useful and helpful. Obviously, using these phrases to avoid spending energy is just being lazy but there are tasks managers may want done that are just "impossible" or "won't work". There are really no better terms. There have been tasks managers asked me to do that I tried but I would have been best of to say "I can't do it". There are employees with heavy workloads who would be best off to say "I can't do it". Every employer wants some flexibility from their employees but the same is true for employees. I know people in general want to hear from positive sounding people but in all reality all we can expect of somebody else is to try and give their best effort. We elect someone to be president every 4 years and we generally don't like the way they lead. They fail a lot but still tell us they know what they are doing. A lot of us like a good winner story like Rudy, but in all reality he was just a bench warmer whose accomplishments on the field amounted to nothing.
HR Strategist | Aligning HR with Business Objectives | Talent Acquisition | HR Operations Expert | HR Digitization & Process Improvement | HR Business Partnering
9 年I can't because ..... Giving self excuses to not move forward on something is killing. Once the person is giving excuses for him/herself that will kill all creativity and all abilities !! Thanks for sharing this great article.