10 Nuggets of Wisdom My Classical Ballet Training Taught Me About Life

(or…10 lessons of my life, whose roots I trace to my ballet training)

1.     A strong center is everything

We dancers know the power of a strong core, and the disaster of a weak one.  Others watch how we spin and twirl and leap and lift our leg to the sky, and they think it is our limbs that are doing these amazing things.  But we know it all starts with an engaged and strong center.  Every movement is enabled by this stability.  And we know that when we fall out of a pirouette, or off an arabesque, it wasn’t the fault of the leg or the arm, but of a weak, lazy or mis-placed center.

It’s the same in life.  We can fill our days with any number of activities, ideas, relationships, work, community involvement…you name it.  But if we neglect our core, our center, our inner life, all of this flurry of “spinning and leaping” out in the world can turn into a disaster, where we fall apart. And the degree to which we cultivate and root and ground our inner life is the degree to which we can truly engage in the work and play that happens on the outside, without falling.

2.     Strength and grace are symbiotic

We dancers know that grace and strength go together, and even depend on one another.  There is nothing graceful about the movements of a weak dancer.  Hands sag, arms flop, legs approach positions imprecisely.  The movement does not flow.  But, as we get stronger, every inch of us moves with greater precision, and the cumulative effect is that of grace.

It’s the same in life.  You will see people who choose a path that does not require much of them, and therefore does not add to their strength.  They are lovely people (all people are), but in their conversation and action there is a certain stiltedness.  A “trying,” or lack of trying.  But you will also see people who choose a path that requires more of them than they can currently deliver.  It stretches them.  Their strength grows to meet the challenge.  This is what we dancers do every day in the studio, and it is how these people live their lives.  They speak and act in a more fluid way.  And so I say, grace and strength go together.

3.     Beauty comes through giving

We dancers know that the entire goal of our performance is to give to the audience.  Give them a vicarious experience.  Transport them into another realm.  Lead them through a story, impress upon them an emotion, give them an impression of deep truth that goes beyond words.  It can be summed up in one word:  beauty.  In every class of our training, we end with a reverence, which is both an affirmation of our gift, and a posture of gratitude for having been given the stage to give it.

It’s the same in life.  When we give, we get.  And a giving posture to the world conveys a deep beauty.  The spouses who give to each other throughout a lifetime.  The parents who give to their children without counting the cost.  The leaders who give opportunities so others can shine.  The teachers who give of their care and expertise so children can mature.  There is a beauty in the face of a habitual giver that goes beyond mere biology or features.  Beauty comes through giving.

4.     Communication is more than words

We dancers know, better than anyone, that communication is more than words.  Yes, we train to put our body in positions and we perfect our technique and we strive for ever-increasing levels of ability, but those positions and technique and abilities are not the goal of our training.  Instead, those elements allow us to say something.  We say it with our whole body, even with our whole being.

It's the same in life.  Communication through words is a common level, but not the only one.  When a friend comes to be with you during a crisis, their simple presence says more than words.  When someone leans in to listen to you, their posture says more than words of affirmation.  When a coworker’s countenance is consistently bright, they communicate a peace and rightness with the world through their face.  So many levels of communication happen every day.  The awareness of this rich reality comes easy for a dancer.

5.     Backdrops change, but our essence doesn’t

We dancers know what it means to perform according to the backdrop we’ve been given.  The story of the ballet, or the aura of the piece, is reflected in the music, our dancing, and the backdrop.  A giant Christmas tree in Act I of the Nutcracker is very different from a starburst or a plain white sheet, and together with our choreography and the music, the backdrop projects the scenario.  But we, the dancers, do not change.  We embrace the backdrop, and dance accordingly.

It’s the same in life.  Scenarios change.  People get married, divorced, they have children, people die, jobs change, companies change, people move, they make new friends, they reconnect with old friends…the backdrop is constantly changing.  But our essence does not change.  We embrace each phase as its own story, and we bring our whole selves accordingly.  So even if it feels like life has become instable, really it isn’t the essence of our life (that strong inner core) that has changed.  There has simply been a change in the backdrop.

6.     Discipline brings freedom

We dancers know the incredible thrill of being “on” in our dancing. Athletes will call this “being in the zone” – it is when every movement is as we intend it. There is no fighting our body, no irritatingly “off” feeling of imbalance, stiffness, or weakness. Like athletes, we dancers know that disciplined work is prerequisite to our euphoric freedom.

It’s the same in life. Freedom is the prize for choosing the hard road. Many a musician can improvise only because they spent years grinding out scales. Many a business leader can make difficult decisions quickly and effectively because they spent decades facing hard decisions, weighing options, seeing the context from multiple angles, and exercising the decision-making muscle until it became reflexive. The musician exudes the freedom of his playing; the business leader exudes the freedom of her confidence. Discipline brings freedom.

7.     Pain is tolerable (and forgettable!) in a purposeful context

We dancers know how to dance on bloody toes, with strained ankles, with pulled muscles, or even with stress fractures. But mainly it’s the toes. I remember my father saying, “It looks like your feet got caught in a lawn mower.” And yet, we don’t consider the pain to be even worth remarking. It is irrelevant to our purpose, which is to be the beauty and purity we wish to see in the world.

It’s the same in life. So many “pains” are irrelevant to us in the face of our larger purpose. The entrepreneur who works 6 days a week and thinks about the business on the 7th, the firefighter who rushes into a burning building, the parents who forgo their desires for travel or cars or retirement so that their children can pursue their dreams, or even the unpopular voice who is mocked or pushed aside or simply ignored; all of these pains are forgettable because there is a greater purpose. That greater purpose is what made the pain exist in the first place, and yet is also what makes the pain negligible.

8.     Effort in visualization reaps reward in execution

We dancers know that the degree to which we can see it in our mind is the degree to which we can achieve it. We love to watch the masters. We scrutinize every move, position of the arm, turn-out of the foot, gesture of the hand and subtle tilt of the head. Then, we see ourselves doing the same. We emulate. We see it in our mind, we see ourselves doing it, and then we do.

It’s the same in life. What we make our vision becomes our action. Reading widely (classic literature, historical fiction, poetry, tales of wisdom, business paradigms, critical journals) expands our vision and therefore our capability. Watching for leadership prowess cultivates our own leadership skill. Noticing a parenting mindset in a respected friend, glimpsing a civic understanding in a coworker’s community involvement…opening our eyes to these kinds of sights is the first step to actually doing the things we truly value.

9.     What it takes to go solo, and what it takes to belong

We dancers know, better than anyone, how to create a unified whole out of a dozen or more individuals. Have you ever seen a stage full of dancers who seem to move as one? It is an art to master one’s own mind and body, and another art still to extend awareness to others, and match them. The solo dance is the epitome of confidence and courage; the corps de ballet is the paragon of extended awareness to adjust and match and mold oneself to the greater whole.

It’s the same in life. There are two very different ways to engage in the living that needs to be lived: there are times to go it alone, and times to contribute as a member of a group. To stand in front of a group and speak, or to perform a function in a company alone, or to raise a family as a single parent…these are the solo scenarios that call for great confidence and courage. But to submit as a member to an organization, to a team, to a church, to a department…true membership requires an extended awareness, a desire to perceive that which is outside oneself, and the self-restraint to match the movement of the group toward its greater goal.

10.  You never arrive, and that’s a good thing

We dancers know we’ll never finish. We’ll never say, “I’ve arrived, I’ve achieved it all, I’m done.” Early in our training we might perceive that others before us have “got it all” and listlessly dream about “getting there.” In terms of technique, in terms of ability, in terms of artistry. Then, years later perhaps, we do attain the level of which we dreamed, only to realize that with the new mastery comes new ability to scrutinize, new ability to see further. The elusive horizon stays beyond reach no matter how long we travel toward it. At some point we make peace with this reality, and even embrace it. Training and working and perfecting stop becoming means to a goal, but become the goal itself. Our effort becomes less about perfection, and more about expression. We embrace the imperfections and say more with them.

It’s the same in life. Many a wise leader has said, “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” We discover this truth, only by chasing destinations. And along the way the truth dawns on us – “getting there” is not nearly as important as the daily progress. And in that daily grind, in that daily toil, there is an opportunity to take the perfect and the imperfect and say something. Or hear something. Learn something. Become something. New. We never arrive; thank goodness for that! Instead, we continue.

About the author: Emily Bopp is shepherding a movement of excellence in execution by making over 100 years of management system evolution accessible to and adoptable by small-medium businesses. Through Enable, Inc., Licensed Enable? Consultants teach CEOs and their teams a reliable playbook for achieving outcomes. It gets everyone consistently delivering results.