10 mistakes I made as a trainer - my most painful training experience.

As a trainer, I always believe that connecting positively with my trainees is my most joyful part of the whole training experience. I have always enjoyed engaging people and listening to them. But what if the trainees are giving me non verbal signals of refusal before the beginning of the training? What if I am hearing the trainees who are actually employees gossip about being annoyed to come earlier than their usual shift to attend my training? some other trainees thanked God that the training is just one hour so, I heard it clearly "it is just one hour. let's get done since we are forced to attend".

One of the readers is a trainer and is interested to ask me "wait! one hour training!! how come!!" and I do agree that the duration of the training was one of the big mistakes. let's check together the training violations that I made and how I paid the price.

Today, I enumerate the 10 mistakes I made during my last training session which made it the most painful training hour of my 5300 training hours.

1st mistake: I decided not to cancel the training after hearing the employees expressing their negative feelings towards the training session. so, why do the employees feel bad towards a training session?

1- Employees had to come earlier than their shift to commit to the training as it is part of their shift as per the business needs. so, instead of spending the first hour of their shift making their coffee and having their breakfast together as what they do on daily basis, they had to attend the training as per what was communicated by their team leader. so, this justifies their behavior of refusal 20 minutes before the training. for sure, it affected me badly because I felt so unaccepted as a trainer and I was busy getting facilities prepared for my presentation. choosing the right time for a training session is big pillar of training success or failure. in my case today, timing contributed by 10% of the training failure. I am not sure if any other trainer could control their feelings or not but instead of opening the training session smiling, the unwelcoming behavior made me react negatively so, I felt so nervous and tried to get done as soon as possible. I used to be always welcomed. sometimes trainees helped me with the facilities before the training. My reaction to the unacceptance was unprofessional. A professional trainer is of a proactive attitude not a reactive one. And here we are to my second mistake.

2- Startup leadership versus Change management: I will jump really quick to the 12 hours following the training. Later on, after that painful hour, I received a text message from an unknown number explaining to me that the employees of that startup hate the change I am trying to make, they hate the concept of adding KPIs after the training and they do not like me personally because I am trying to get them out of their comfort zone and cut out of their salary to introduce performance analysis and quality management. and here is the beginning of the failure thread. change must be professionally managed for the training to be successful but actually I was only a trainer designing a learning experience so, I send a gentle feedback to the team leader to put more effort with planning for a change management strategy.

3- It is not on me but I could have planned for it better: If I knew earlier that the employees believe that the training purpose is to cut their salaries and overwhelm them by KPIs not to add to their knowledge, help them achieve their targets and master their performance, I could have specialized time to change their mind about the training purpose and its importance to them even before beginning with the training but unfortunately, I received the anonymous text message after the 1st training session. so, I learnt after that painful experience to ask about the trainees readiness to the training and their impressions abut it before I start and even to check on it myself in the beginning of the training.

4- The senior big boss employee behavior: One of the senior employees tried to give me hard time 3 minutes after starting the session, using their phone after I announced 3 times that phones are preferred to be silent. Can you imagine that I had to comment on using the cell phones 3 times in 3 minutes. The employees are trying to use all tools available to give indirect messages that they are being forced to attend such a training. so, the senior big boss employee violently pushed the phone away on the table and made an angry facial expression with a highly pitched chair sound and looked me in the eye as if she is proud of such an unprofessional attitude. the 16 people in the room paused and everyone felt the awkward silence. At this moment, I had to coach this employee gently but I was a freelance trainer visiting the training room for one hour and leaving so, I bypassed the situation and proceeded with my agenda. a fatal mistake that a professional trainer never makes.

5- The "I know it all & I am here to prove you are wrong" employee behavior: On the 5th slide of my presentation, I was supposed to introduce a new way of sales pitching then ask the trainees for their feedback. What happened, one of the trainees interrupted me saying that what I am saying is totally wrong. To be honest, I have handled many situations similar to this but here is the new event about such situation, I was fed up with the negative energy that the employees are transferring and I did not have enough time to pause and break such a negative ice. so, I did not smile while handling the objection and I did not thank the employee for brining that to my attention. I just explained my point of view as if I am not a trainer. The employee liked the attention and tried to take more time to prove how wrong this technique is wasting a lot of time while others were looking at each others and to that employee proudly. the employee felt more confident and raised his tone of voice. I decided to pause because it was my first time to feel such an overwhelming negative energy. Then came my life savior, the team leader, asking the employee directly to keep his point of view aside for now. My mistake was to accept conducting a freelance training without communicating the training rules clearly before the session especially that I knew later that that team was not familiar with how to give a constructive feedback and the toxic seniority culture is dominating. means, since I am a senior or an experienced employee, I can behave unprofessionally normally as long as the team leader is not there. this how senior employees think they are smart.

In conclusion, I should have told the team leader about the negative vibes that I felt before the beginning of the training session as if the employees do not feel well, the whole training experience will be painful for the trainer and the trainees and it will affect the learning outcomes as well.

6- Trainees engagement versus the negative vibes: My biggest mistake was trying to engage people by questioning in the beginning while they are not welcoming the training but the 1st 2 employees I engaged answered my questions in a dull way. so, negative vibes affected the trainees engagement negatively. now, the vibes started to affect me personally. I could not smile and I felt so stressed deep inside. At this moment, I decided to look at people's faces trying to make a fast decision. should I cancel the training in the middle or should I proceed without engagement? my decision was to proceed and here is the 5th mistake.

7- Is it a speech or a training? I decided to sacrifice the whole training experience and turn the speech mode on since I do not have enough time to apply a mood flipper activity nor to pause to ask for feedback. only 20 minutes are left so, it is not a big deal. and here, I realized that it was a wrong decision to accept the challenge shrinking an 8 hours training experience to be only one hour as per the business needs. Replacing the quality coffee and breakfast hour in the beginning of the shift by a training was a fatal mistake as well. Trainees engagement is 0% right now so, RIP training.

8- Time management versus handling objections: Let's get back to the "I know it all" employee who kept on interrupting and this behavior is expected in all trainings but it seems like it took longer than expected so it affected the time left for the remaining ILOs. My mistake was not with the handling the objection as much as with planning for the training. I should have added time for buffering as professional trainers always take trainees behavior into consideration while planning for the training sessions. once you expect the behavior correctly, time planning will shine bright like a diamond.

9- Corporate trainer versus startup trainer: I was infected by the risk taking culture of entrepreneurs so, I accepted the challenge blindly. Let's flip the typical training table, shrink time, add more ILOs, be a time management hero, act like an entrepreneur and do it as fast as possible. my mistake was to violate the typical training basics and the learning experience pillars that professional trainers cannot violate by any means. Unfortunately, I tried to forget my successful corporate training experience in order to match the startup "on the run" goals. training process is the same.

10- Trainees expectations versus post training feedback: I paid the price of all the mistakes mentioned above alone. as trainees had their expectations set about the training as a performance changing experience. they expected too much in one hour. I will not act harsh against myself as a trainer at this moment cause I tried to positively engage people but they made the decision not to participate as a clear communication not to replace the breakfast hour by this training bla bla bla. professional trainers do not aim to please the audience as much as target the ILOs. Fortunately, the trainees answered the ILOs related questions correctly in the post training feedback survey but unfortunately, my evaluation as a trainer was 30% for being enthusiastic and 30% for being knowledgeable. Yes! A trainee can decide to give the trainer hard time, not to adhere to the training session rules, act unprofessionally and negatively evaluate the trainer by the end. professional trainers are aware of all of that. they handle objections effectively, they plan correctly for the timing and they master the training satisfaction.

Conclusion and lessons learnt:

1- Time is important while planning for a raining. And if the client does not specialize enough time for the training, do not take the risk as it will affect the learning experience and it will affect the mental stability of the trainer during the delivery as explained above.

2- Forcing existing employees to attend an upskilling training is a fatal mistake because if they do not welcome it as a supportive activity their business owner is offering to them, their negative vibes will affect the learning outcomes negatively.

3- Culture and soft skills are not optional. every business owner must generate a well planned culture goals so that employees can be familiar with how to act professionally during a meeting, how to give a constructive feedback, how to object for the sake of adding value not to object seeking attention.

4- Weekly meetings are important for teams so that every team member could feel listened to and welcomed. If the employees are being silent most of time, creativity will be replaced by negativity and aggression.

5- For me as a trainer, I prepared ground guidelines for any freelancing business trainings with a training proposal, if the business owner agrees to my guidelines inclosing timing, training ground rules, learning experience design and setting trainees expectations so, we can make a deal and start the needs analysis for the trainees. If not, I am glad that I now, developed the ability of saying no confidently.

6- For me as a human being, I will never accept again to be disrespected in a training room in the name of committing to my deal with the business owner. Once a trainee disrespect me personally, I have to take an action.

Feel free to add your comments and to send me your feedback privately in case you have suggestions, additions or feedback.

See you next week with another "training and development hub" newsletter article!