10 Misconceptions About Divorce
- It will go faster than you think. Your lawyer or friend just told you about mandatory waiting period and all you want is for "'it' to be over with". The time will pass quickly and it will probably surprise you.
- Your lawyer will not solve all your problems. Having a great lawyer is a great way to tackle a tough divorce, but lawyers can only handle the legal aspects of this process. It is important to build a strong support system that may include friends, therapists, financial advisors, religious advisors, or other members of your community that can help you transition to the next phase of your life.
- No two divorces are the same. You want the same result your neighbor got but you had a much different marriage than your neighbor so adjust your expectations. There are probably factors that your friends and colleagues have not revealed to you, so you are probably not getting a realistic picture.
- Attorneys are not perfect. Attorneys have expertise, training, and a professional license, but it is your divorce and it is your responsibility to ensure that mistakes are not made.
- Everyone has to pay a price. It is difficult to transition from two incomes to one, or from one household to two. The financial reality of separating is devastating to most couples and there is not much that your lawyer can do to change that.
- If you lie, the deal is off. There are not many protections for parties that lie during a divorce. The penalties are severe and many attorneys won’t risk their reputations in these situations.
- You may have to say goodbye to the pots and pans. While you have mentally tagged all your favorite items in the house that you are taking with you, your spouse has too. The financial and emotional cost of battling over these items is simply not worth it. Keep in mind that an entire kitchen set can be replaced for roughly two hours of attorney time.
- You may reconcile. Every couple has their own journey and reconciliation is always possible at any step of the process. If reconciliation is a goal you have in mind, make it a priority to discuss couples’ counseling with your spouse and/or individual counseling.
- Mother does not know best. While it is important to seek the advice of your loved ones, the decisions you make during your divorce about your life must be your own.
- Your spouse will surprise you. Whether your spouse is more generous or less, whether they are a better parent or disappear from the children’s lives, your spouse will probably surprise you during your divorce. Don’t panic, just go with the flow and pretend like you know exactly what is going on.
Legal Assistant
8 年6. Is completely wrong. My ex committed purgery several times on the stand and we proved it and filed charges and nothing came of it at all!
Divorce Financial Planner/Podcaster/Financial Coaching During and After Divorce
8 年Great article, Natalia. Would recommend this for all my clients.
Founder and President at Catchick Law, PC
8 年Fabulous post. With much respect, Matt.