10 Lessons I've Learned This Week

I’m struggling with this one, gang. I try to avoid talking about politics, so much so that most of my friends and family don’t even know my opinion on the majority of issues. As a matter of fact, many of them just assume I believe the opposite of whatever they believe, which I think is both funny and a testament to my friends and family, that they all still love me. And therein lies the struggle, because what happened to George Floyd, and what we have witnessed over history, and specifically since the Civil Rights movement of the mid-20th century is not an issue of politics, but of humanity. Guess what, humans, we’re failing!

I hear the calls to act, and I’ve been paralyzed. A big part of that paralysis is the onslaught of information, video, and commentary on all sides. And by “all sides,” I mean there are a LOT of different viewpoints out there, and everyone believes they are on the side of right. I’m swimming in a sea of contradictory messaging, misinformation, and cherry-picked information. I know how I FEEL, but how do I ACT on that? So I did what I was asked to do. I listened, and, from that, I’ve put together this list of “lessons” that I will carry through my life, at least until I am presented with evidence that proves I’m wrong.

I know that it is dangerous for me to share this on my professional blog, but it’s the only blog I have, and I don’t see how any of this does any good if I don’t share it. Also, these are MY lessons. I am sharing them for anyone else out there that, like me, feels overwhelmed, and is trying to get their arms around how they feel and what they need to do.

LESSON 1: BLACK LIVES MATTER.

This statement upsets a lot of people. I understand the knee-jerk desire to respond with, “All lives matter,” but I pray that, as a community, we can resist that urge. Of course, all lives matter, but we are not facing a systemic devaluation of all lives. We are living in a nation where we can fill a book with the names of black men, women, and children that have been the victims of excessive, if not deadly, force at the hands of the police and their fellow citizens. To give an example that I saw on Facebook, you don’t tell your neighbor whose house is burning that all houses matter.

LESSON 2: HATE IS USELESS.

I realized long ago that hate not only stands in the way of understanding, but it’s also exhausting. When we approach an issue from a perspective of hate, we have already ensured that it will not be resolved.

LESSON 3: MOST PEOPLE THAT WE THINK ARE EVIL ARE ACTUALLY FEARFUL.

I can’t help myself. When I see someone behave in a manner that I find abhorrent, I look for a reason. When an officer approaches the car of a black man with his hand on his taser, or a 60-year-old woman calls the police because of a “suspicious looking black man” walking around her neighborhood, those actions are coming from a place of fear, not evil. But just because I don’t think fear is evil, doesn’t mean I think it’s acceptable either. Wherever the fear of black men is coming from, it is leading to the mistreatment of a huge swath of our society and it must stop. Fear is never an acceptable excuse for oppression, and, as has become glaringly obvious, our priority needs to be driving that fear, and the actions that ensue, out of our police departments and our society, as a whole.

LESSON 4: THE POLICE ARE OUR SERVANTS, NOT OUR BOSSES.

The police exist to protect and serve the citizens of the United States. They are imbued with a prescribed amount of authority to do just that. Targeting a specific demographic for harsher or unfounded enforcement does not fall under that prescribed amount of authority. Nobody, including black citizens, are required to do anything simply because a police officer says so. When you hear of an instance of police brutality against an innocent black man, and you find yourself saying, “Well, if he had done what the officer told him to do, he would have been fine,” recognize it for what it is – victim blaming. It is the same as saying, “If she hadn’t worn that short skirt, she wouldn’t have been raped.” Regardless of the length of the skirt, the rapist is still guilty. The same goes for a police officer that commits a crime.

LESSON 5: PATRIOTISM IS MORE THAN TAKING YOUR HAT OFF DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

I know that watching what is happening to our nation right now is hard for steadfast patriots and a lot of our veterans, and I understand why. I want to say how grateful I am for our veterans and all of our active military. They have not only defended the American people from outside forces, but served as a force of justice in oppressed lands. That is something to be proud of, and a justifiable impetus for rabid patriotism. Just remember from where that love of country came. America has always stood for justice, equality (relative to the time), and freedom. Tyranny in all forms is antithetical to the American way for which you fought. In response to the protests and rioting, I hear people say, “Why can’t the protests be peaceful. The meaning is being diluted by the violence and destruction.” I don’t like the violence and destruction either, but let’s take the blame that we are due. Peaceful protests have been going on for decades, whether it be a celebrity making a statement, athletes kneeling during the National Anthem, or the original coining of Black Lives Matter. We didn’t like any of them. We weren’t moved. We didn’t listen. As a matter of fact, we were appalled and further divided. We need to realize that it is patriotic to fight for equality for all. The flag and the National Anthem are symbols of the current state of affairs in a nation. I don’t believe that the current state of affairs is what most American veterans fought for in the first place.

LESSON 6: MY FAITH DOES NOT MAKE ME SUPERIOR.

This one’s only tangentially related, because it has come up in current events, but I think it belongs in this article. Everyone believes their faith is superior, as they should. Why else would that be your faith? However, where we lose our bearings is in the belief that if our faith is superior then we must be superior to everyone that doesn’t have our same faith. Um, no. I studied religions of the world in grade school and high school, and I can’t remember a single one that didn’t have a foundational tenet of humble service and love. I simply don’t think that is possible if you consider yourself above those that you are serving or “loving.” And, by the same logic, if your faith excludes or justifies the mistreatment of certain groups of people, then you may want to reconsider your belief that your faith is superior.

LESSON 7: CHERRY PICKING PROVES NOTHING.

It’s so weird. We all recognize it. We all hate it. We all know it’s just a defense mechanism. And, yet, we all do it. Why do we feel the need, in the midst of tragedy and turmoil, to find and share anecdotal evidence of “the opposite” also occurring. Yes, police have been killed by black men. Police are killed by all sorts of people, and it’s always tragic. However, that fact does not negate the call for fair treatment of everyone by the police. Facebook posts that say, “Look at this officer killed by this black man. Where is the outrage?” are a prime example of cherry picking. I hate to hear of an officer killed in the line of duty, and I pray for peace, but the outrage follows the trend, not the act. I respect and am grateful for the fact that police officers willingly put their life and safety on the line to protect us. Unfortunately, that means we lose police officers to criminals that are white, black, brown, and beyond. That fact does not erase the duty that they are sworn to uphold – to protect and serve ALL citizens.

LESSON 8: MOST POLICE ARE GOOD, BUT THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

I sincerely respect the police and believe that most police officers want nothing more than to make a positive impact on society. “There are a few bad eggs.” I won’t lie. I’ve fallen into this trap before. In every field of work I’ve encountered, there are people that are good at their job and people that are bad at their job. Why should the police be any different? The answer is that they MUST be. When I’m not good at my job, someone doesn’t understand Lean Construction or maybe we don’t end up with the most efficient plan for completing a project. When a police officer isn’t good at his/her job, people die. I am flat-out calling for the FOP and police organizations to agree on this simple fact and devise a plan to ensure “bad cops” are removed from the force… period.

LESSON 9: IF I DON’T SPEAK UP, WHO WILL?

As an American citizen, it is my obligation to speak up when I see tyranny and oppression. This doesn’t just mean in the form of public protests. It means making my views clear when I am face-to-face with a friend or family member that makes a racist comment. It means stepping in when I see someone being mistreated. It means writing a blog that is giving me cold sweats as I type. It’s not easy, and I will fail sometimes, but I need to strive to do what I know is right.

LESSON 10: APPRECIATE THE STRIDES, BUT NEVER BE CONTENT.

I’m a root cause analysis kind of person. For that reason, I look at people that are currently labeled as racist, and I can imagine from where they came. Most adults that we all know have evolved in their views of race, sex, LGBTQ+, etc. over the years. Heck, in current terms, I was probably a racist homophobe 20 years ago. How about you? Society evolves. People evolve. Recognize and appreciate the evolution. But we have hit a barrier. We have stagnated in our pursuit of racial equality, and we now find ourselves in the uncomfortable position that requires we push through that barrier. America has been at similar crossroads throughout history, and we have, for the most part, come out on the right side of history. Please don’t let this be the exception. Complacency is not an option.

Well, there you go, folks. Hopefully, this is received as it was intended… as a way for me to gather and organize my thoughts around what is going on in our country, and an opportunity to organize your own thoughts. I will leave this here, and I will continue to pray for peace, unity, equality, and leadership.