10 Leadership Lessons From My Military Service

The other day, I walked into a supermarket with my 18-year-old niece. An older man wearing a veteran's cap was walking out. Without missing a beat, my niece blurted out, "Thank you for your service."

I get the same message from her every Veterans and Memorial Day. In the hallway outside her bedroom is an 8-by-10 photo of me in my dress Army uniform when I was just a little older than she is today. My family takes respect for those who wore the uniform seriously. My grandfather wore the uniform during World War II. My father wore the uniform in the early days of the Cold War. I wore the uniform in the final days of the Cold War. It's tradition.

My military service is not a well-kept secret. I'm proud of what I did during the 1980s. I served my country and its allies during one of the tensest periods of the Cold War. I observed Russian soldiers in the Fulda Gap. I helped prep convoys carrying supplies across the East German corridor to the divided city of Berlin. I eavesdropped on Warsaw Pact radio transmissions along the Czech border. And I was in Germany the night the Berlin Wall fell, a moment that changed the world.

Even during peacetime, military service comes with uncertainty and risks. We never knew – as we would say in our lexicon – "when the balloon was going up," an expression from World War I for when combat starts. Yes, most days were filled with tasks ranging from mundane to routine. This is why I jokingly say, "I defended democracy one barstool at a time." But it was much more than that.

The Army – as well as the other military branches – is a school of book learning, practical training, and experiential lessons. The Army is steeped in protocol and tradition. A quality of American military doctrine is that leadership is instilled in every soldier – from the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff to the lowliest private -- is individual initiative. The Army teaches everyone to understand their roles and missions, act in the absence of orders, and overcome obstacles.

A few things that aren't on my resume or official bio include that I was the soldier of the year for the 4th Transportation Command, an honors graduate of the 7th Army Noncommissioned Officers Academy, and winner of the Gen. Douglas MacArthur Leadership Award, in addition to a few other accommodations. Earning these honors required weeks of preparation and training, during which I read and absorbed leadership lessons and styles.

But it was more than the book learning and class instruction. It was the lessons passed down by the seasoned soldiers I served with, many of which were Vietnam combat veterans. I internalized the leadership lessons and styles of the instructors, first sergeants, company commanders, section chiefs, and field officers I served with. Each of one their stories were essential lessons on what works and doesn't.

I still carry many of these lessons and principles with me to this day. They're part of my personal leadership and management style. I'm not an authoritarian the way many perceive military-style leaders. Rather, I try to follow the lead of what the men and women did: by example.

A few of these lessons and longstanding principles include:

1.?????? Get More Done Before 9 a.m.: Yes, it was a recruiting theme of the 1980s, "in the Army, we get more things done before 9 a.m. than most people do all day." It's true, though. My average day starts at 5 a.m.; I'm at my desk working on something before the sun comes up. I'll do more in the four hours before the world comes online than the rest of the day.

2.?????? First In, Last Out: Leaders lead. They're the first ones into any situation and the last to leave. Throughout my career, going back to my newspaper days, if I were in a management or supervisory position, I would be there as long as my people were. I was in the office or the field before they were, and I wouldn't leave until they were done. Lesson: Always support your people.

3.?????? Never Ask Anyone to Do Something You Wouldn't: This follows the last entry but goes further. Yes, there are plenty of crap jobs to go around. And, yes, at a certain point in anyone's career, you've earned the right not to perform certain mundane or dreadful tasks. However, a leader should never ask of or impose upon a subordinate anything that they wouldn't do themselves. It's just not fair and also shows weakness in character. To this day, I will try to do boring and tedious tasks so I'm not imposing on my staff.

4.?????? Leaders Eat Last: I was leading a platoon on a field exercise in the German Alps when hot chow arrived. After a few days on the side of a snowy mountain, I was hungry and ready for real food. The observer saw me go to grab a tray and stopped me, "Son, your men eat first." I asked, "What if nothing is left?" His response was unapologetic, "Then your men have eaten." It was a clear lesson that leaders must care for their people, even at personal expense. If you don't take care of your people, your people won't take care of you.

5.?????? Everyone Deserves Respect: Showing respect to people costs nothing. Disrespect costs everything. Leaders must exhibit compassion and regard for the people around them. Through respect, you earn trust, and that trust translates into collaboration and camaraderie, or as the French say, "esprit de corps."? As a drill sergeant once told me, "You have to trust that the guy in the foxhole next to you will have your back." That trust starts with respect.

6.?????? Adapt and Overcome: The day I left for Fort Sill, OK, an Air Force sergeant welcomed us to military service. I'll never forget his words: "You'll learn to do more with less than you ever thought possible." Given the billions of dollars spent on the military every year, I thought what he said was ironic. Yet, he was right. Leaders often find themselves in situations where they don't have all the information, resources, or time to solve a problem in a textbook way. Leaders find a way to accomplish their mission. They adapt and overcome based on their circumstances.

7.?????? Acting in the Absence of Orders: If you know your job and mission, you don't need orders or instruction. Leaders take the initiative even when no one tells them what to do. Throughout my career, I've stepped up and acted even when not instructed because – whatever I was doing at the time – was the right thing to do. I encourage my team to do the same: Don't wait for instruction; do it if it's the right thing.

8.?????? Change Down, Not Up: One night, I was drinking beers with my first sergeant, a 30-year Army career soldier. I was lamenting that I didn't understand why the Army operated the way it did (I can't remember the specifics). After three decades in uniform, this guy had seen and done it all. He told me, "Don't try to change the minds of those above you; they're set in their ways. Change the minds of the people behind you; they'll make the change." It was prophetic. The older and higher people get, the less likely they'll take risks or make substantive changes. They're defensive. People coming up in the ranks can bring change with them. Leadership is about influencing and motivating people to apply positive change.

9.?????? Nothing is FUBAR: I won't spell out the acronym; you can look it up. Suffice it to say, FUBAR, in military parlance, means utterly broken. Yes, equipment gets damaged and destroyed. In the military, the loss of life is part of the deal. But in day-to-day decision-making and management, nothing is unfixable. You can make mistakes and recover. Leadership is often about taking calculated risks. Sometimes that results in negative outcomes. It's how you recover from mistakes that matters.

10.? Humility Matters: Boisterous and bellicose leaders come and go, but true leaders aren't glory seekers. Leadership is about getting the job done regardless of who gets credit. Yes, leadership can come with recognition of achievement. Soldiers wear colorful ribbons and medals denoting their heroism and accomplishments. Yet, the humble leader never lets ego or adulation cloud their judgment or actions. Earning medals isn't the objective; completing the mission is. In the final scene of the movie Patton, the general recounts the triumphs of conquering Romans, and the warning whispered in Caesar's ear: "All glory is fleeting." I hear those words every day. The praise that comes today is gone with the next challenge. Humility keeps good leaders grounded.

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These 10 leadership lessons, forged during my military service, are an integral part of who I am as a leader to this day. They guide my actions and decisions, reminding me of the importance of leading by example, taking care of my team, and always striving to do what's right. While I learned these principles in the Army, I believe they apply to leadership in any context. Leadership is not about power or accolades; it's about making a positive difference in the lives of those you lead and the world around you.

On Memorial Day, my niece will text me to thank me for my service, as she does every year. Every Veterans Day, my Facebook page gets lit up with people posting similar messages. The Army gave me the foundation on which I built my life and career. Thank me for my service? I'm grateful that the Army gave me the opportunity, skills, and experience to become a leader.