10 DEATHBED REGRETS THAT I'M NOT AVAILABLE FOR

This post is dedicated to all the people whose lives were taken too soon and the ones who died feeling the pain of regret. I hope they will rest more peacefully knowing that people are being reminded to make the most of their lives now.

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I recently finished reading an incredible book called ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.” by Bronnie Ware.

I would so recommend you read that book, but before you go order it, I’d like to share with you what life choices I recently set for myself in my life moving forward, because I’m sure as hell not available for deathbed regret!

My life is driven by the realization that the quality of the life I now have is largely (though not entirely) based on the choices I have made. That means that the quality of my future life is a result of the next choices I make.

And here’s the thing: I honestly make poor choices every day, I’m so human! Though I make less poor choices than I did before and more good choices. Luckily, life is kind to our efforts and perfection is not necessary.

I devote a significant amount of time to life planning – I journal almost every single morning (sometimes just briefly and I skip if I’m busy on weekends.. or sometimes do mammoth journaling sessions on weekends) and I fill out my daily planner every weekday morning. That might sound crazy to some people, but running your life is like running a business. If you want it to be successful, then you need to be strategic about it – even if your vision is just a FEELING that you want to create inside of you rather than a specific vision of something concrete. Your vision can be a house on a hill or a feeling of lightness and peace. Both require planning. Both require work.

Ironically, whilst writing this today, I learned of the death of an incredible 55-year old man I met in January, whose life was taken way too soon in a recent avalanche. It reinforced the need I felt to share this message to inspire others to make decisions too to change now so that we can all avoid regret later – and it’s NEVER TOO LATE for that. No matter what age you are, rising to change is always possible.

Here are the choices I’m making to bring about the changes I want in my life:

1. I CHOOSE TO LIVE INTENTIONALLY

I have a vision for the way I want my life to unfold in the next few years. I keep that vision strongly in my mind and reflect on it every single day. I plan strategically. There are things that I chose not to be available for. This helps me to make choices that support my vision and to say no to things that will pull me away from it.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of wandering aimlessly through my life without a plan and in the end realizing I didn’t achieve much of anything. What a shame that would be!

2. I CHOOSE SELF-COACHING DAILY VIA JOURNALING

Ah the power of that pen and paper when I ask myself a powerful question. My notebook keeps me focused and continuously reminds me, every single morning, of what my priorities are. How do I feel and what do I truly want in my life are amongst my top daily questions.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of not having taken a regular step back to check if I’m happy with how I am using my time.

3. I CHOOSE TO EMBRACE COURAGE AND PAIN

No change happens without courage and discipline .. and that can feel painful. But if I am serious about avoiding deathbed regret and living the life I dream of, then there are certain things I need to do that I have been half-assing up to now. The reason for my half-assing is that it involves some kind of pain – like the pain of avoiding rest in the moment, the pain of not succumbing to distraction or instant gratification, the pain of not being okay with judgment from others, the pain of rejection and the pain of sacrificing things I like to do in order to work on my business more. The more I courageously embrace those pains and the more disciplined I become, the easier it will become.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of letting fear and pain, that I could have intentionally overcome, hold me back from the life I dream of.

4. I CHOOSE STRONG BOUNDARIES

Having great awareness about what is healthy in my relationships and what’s not and being able to easily identify that is super important to me. This means having strong boundaries and having the courage to stick to them when I am challenged. It means working on myself to have a very high value of myself and not allowing anyone to over-step my boundaries.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of using up energy on negative relationships and situations that I could have been channeling into my dreams and the people I love instead (this is of course unless I gained valuable lessons from the experience that serves me moving forward and helps me to help others as a result).

5. I CHOOSE HIGH QUALITY MENTORING

I have been blessed with incredible mentors in my life in many different capacities. I believe that life puts these people in our paths to show us that whatever we dream of can be done/felt and to learn from them what it takes to create that. I will definitely continue to seek out mentors and fully appreciate any that show up in my life, both the short-term ones and longer-term ones. Having someone to challenge my beliefs and help me to see the blind spots that hold me back is invaluable to me.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of not availing of the support that was there for me to improve my life and have a greater impact.

6. I CHOOSE HEALTHY FOOD CHOICES

I know that both my mood, my focus and my energy levels are strongly affected by what I put into my mouth. Putting more of “the right things” and less of “the wrong things” in my mouth isn’t always easy for me, but I’m educating myself and getting better at it.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of denying myself the opportunity to feel good and healthy because of my eating habits and also avoiding chronic illness.

7. I CHOOSE TO FEEL MY EMOTIONS

Feeling everything - especially discomfort - is something that I’m not always good at. The seduction of instant gratification is always right beside the effortful task of dropping my story and breathing into the emotion until it dissolves and passes (because it does if you allow it). I’m far from an expert on this, but I can share with absolute authenticity that when I do bravely choose to breath into the sensation instead of choosing the “numbing out” option (of sugar, social media or whatever distraction is luring me in that moment), I have felt incredible afterwards. This life choice is one I want to make massive strides in. All change involves discomfort, so getting comfortable with discomfort is an epic plan if you want to change!

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of sabotaging myself instead of just simply feeling my emotions and allowing them all.

8. I CHOOSE FITNESS

This is an easier life choice for me to live by. The effects of this are pretty instantaneous so I don’t find it difficult to practice fitness. I love lifting weights and feeling strong. A strong body supports a strong mind... I also love cardio.. and the more fitness I can practice in nature, the happier I am, because nature grounds me and fuels me.

I also have an audacious fitness goal which pulls me forward and allows me to continuously challenge myself.

I additionally want to increase my yoga practice. I intend to be one of those 90-year old women on YouTube inspiring people with a great warrior pose… and maybe a cartwheel, let’s see ?????♀?.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of letting my body go. I want to feel proud of how I took care of the vessel that housed my soul and allowed me to move around freely and easily throughout my life.

9. I CHOOSE TO CHERISH THE PEOPLE I LOVE

Letting friendships go was one of the top 5 regrets mentioned by the dying in Bronnie Ware’s book I mentioned above. In the busy hecticness of life, it’s easy to neglect those friendships because we “don’t have time”.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of not having appreciated and nurtured the relationships that were important to me.

10. I CHOOSE TO PRACTICE THE FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE, LOVE, ABUNDANCE AND DISCIPLINE DAILY

Last, but definitely not least.. and this is probably the most important one! The biggest personal aha that I got when I read Bronnie Ware’s book, was that with this choice alone, I would pretty much guarantee that I won’t experience death bed regret. Reminding myself first thing every morning of what I am grateful for, who I love, why I feel abundant and why discipline is so important to me.. as well as noting down 3 disciplined actions I intend to carry out that day, is an incredibly powerful practice that would basically transform the world if everybody took those few minutes each morning and a minute in the evening for the evening practice I suggest in my daily GLAD journal that I created.

By following this life choice, I am avoiding the deathbed regret of letting life pass me by without fully appreciating how blessed I am every single day.

I definitely don’t want to regret that. I want to fully appreciate the journey rather than letting life preoccupations distract me from it’s incredible goodness too. Just take a walk in nature if you need reminding of that.

But if you are REALLY serious about appreciating every single waking moment of the life that you have been gifted, no matter what is showing up in your life, then I invite you to join my GLAD program.

GLAD which stands for Gratitude, Love, Abundance and Discipline is my 6-week online group program which you can join at any time. You receive 4 lessons per week – starting on the first Monday after your join date and you become a member of the private Facebook group where you can share your exercises and your insights, ask for support when you need it and give support to others in the GLAD tribe too.

I pop in regularly to answer the questions you post and to share any inspired ideas related to the program content. I know you will be GLAD that you joined GLAD!

Click here to join us.