1 Thing to Stop Telling Yourself This Year

I recently moved from my home state of Oklahoma (where I had lived all my life) to southern California. Shortly after arriving people began pointing things out to me – like an accent I didn’t realize I had.  But they also noticed little words and phrases that I used that they weren’t familiar with.  For the most part, these were things I didn’t even realize I was saying, like telling someone “you’re overcooking my grits” when they were giving me a hard time.  The most frequent call out however was with my habit of substituting the word “fixing” to mean “getting ready.”  I’m fixing to go to the store.  I’m fixing to leave.  I’m fixing to eat lunch.  After some deliberation, I’ve decided to embrace my inner Oklahoma and leave these tendencies intact.   I think they’re part of who I am and I’m good with that.

There is one phrase however that I began noticing with increasing frequency even before I left Oklahoma.  I’ve heard it plenty of times in California as well.  It’s the phrase – “It is what it is.”  Because of the self-awareness around my Oklahoma phrases, I noticed that I too had begun saying “It is what it is.”  I’m not sure I had ever heard these words strung together in that order prior to this past year.  I certainly never heard them with this degree of regularity.  Unlike my affinity for the term “fixing,” as I examined this new phrase, I knew it had to go.  

I think it’s important to be careful with the things we regularly tell ourselves and I’m just not comfortable telling myself “It is what it is.”  It sounds like I’m giving my power away and resignedly accepting things as they are with no ability to do anything about it.  The truth is…

“It is what I choose it to be.”

“It is what I make it.”

“It is what I believe it can be.”

So, in this New Year, I encourage you to take a look at the words and phrases you are speaking into your life.  I don’t know about you, but I’m fixing to eliminate this one from my vocabulary.