#1 Reason to Choose a Phone Conversation

Great conversations require both active listening and thoughtful response. In small workshops and on video calls I sometimes fail at this task. Why?

Well, it’s about distraction. The word “distraction” first appeared in the 15th century and comes from the Latin distractionem meaning “the drawing away of the mind”. I love how concisely this definition describes what happens to me when I’m speaking to someone in a busy environment. 

First, I get distracted by movement. My peripheral vision takes in the other people on the screen, as well as chat messages, etc. Unless I remain very vigilant, I will automatically turn toward the movement. Second, and perhaps no surprise, I get distracted by colour. If a bright yellow dress or a bold pink shirt appears on camera, I’ll look in that direction. Third, I get distracted by noise. This can be anything at all – laughter, hushed tones, surprise – it will interrupt my thought process. Suddenly my mind will be drawn to follow that sound, completely breaking my focus.

Finally, I get distracted by my own mind, particularly in large video calls, group discussions and breakout room. I’ll start following my thoughts about an issue and briefly tune out the conversation around me. Often, when I rejoin the conversation, everyone has moved on to a new topic.

So, sometimes, I can come across as … rude. I make people feel unimportant or even abandoned simply because I’m so distracted.

All this brings me to the reason I cherish and champion phone conversations. With the phone, I can create a distraction-free zone whether I’m on my cellphone in my parked car or a landline in my office. It is as if the weight of the phone in the palm of my hand draws me in, keeps me focused on the words and sounds and rhythm of conversation. I turn away from the bustle around me or my computer monitor, I grab a pen and paper and, whenever possible (my final touch to enjoying a conversation) I have a cup of coffee nearby.

While I certainly can’t say that all of my fabulous, intimate, life-changing conversations have been on the phone, I’m confident that at least 50% have been – with clients, with family, with friends. I encourage you to give it a try. Find a spot to settle in and call someone. Discover (or re-discover) the absolute pleasure of a great phone conversation.

An accomplished author, speaker and facilitator, Mary Jane Copps is passionate about creating excellent communication. She has trained over 12,000 individuals, giving them the necessary skills to increase revenue and customer satisfaction through her proven communication techniques.