The #1 Mindset Mistake for Women

Before I begin, a quick reminder that I write every word of my newsletter myself, sans AI. This is me, Alicia, speaking to you directly, bringing you tips, information, and encouragement to help you find your Power Voice and use it to make a big leap forward in your career. Please reach out to me any time with questions or comments, I love getting your feedback!

Whenever a new client arrives in our Zoom for their first session, I spend the first half hour asking some simple intake questions, and listening carefully to their answers. I’ll ask them to tell me the story of their career, leading up to where they are now. Then I’ll ask them to project into the future, to share where they would like to go.?

Although the details of each woman’s story can be extremely different, there is one particular element that often shows up, both in their larger career choices and their day-to-day work. It’s about being “behind the scenes.”

Some women have spent their whole career doing “behind the scenes” types of roles. Some of them started out “behind the scenes” in their career, and have transitioned to more visible roles, but are still employing a “behind the scenes” mindset. Some have always had visible roles, but have never been able to see themselves as anything but “behind the scenes.” I call this suffering from BTS.?

Traditionally and historically, women have been relegated to BTS roles in almost every sector and industry. Even here in the 21st century, the workplace gender bias that keeps pressure on women to fill BTS roles, and adopt that mindset, is massive. That pressure may have unconsciously shaped both your career path and your mindset, even though you didn’t want it to.

It's true that for some women, especially those in heavily male-dominated fields like tech, finance, law, construction, and also in corporate America, there can be an advantage to employing a BTS mindset as they move up the ladder. Working carefully behind the scenes can help you appear non threatening to those in power.?

But there comes a point in your career when having a BTS mindset is no longer a viable option. Successful leadership requires a powerful strategy that you consciously apply to your work, and all of your communication. Many of my clients are currently in leadership roles, but a BTS mindset is keeping them from achieving maximum impact.

Here are some signs that you're suffering from BTS:

• You are excellent at strategy, systems ops and other kinds of high-level tasks, but you can’t seem to rally support for your ideas.
• When you have to give an important presentation, or lead a big meeting with Senior staff in the room, you feel terribly anxious and don't perform well (you might even be so nervous that you pass these tasks off to someone else!)

• You have to repeat your ideas and strategies over and over to your team, who don’t seem to take you very seriously.?

• During your annual performance review you are told that you’re not stepping up enough, even though all your metrics look good (your boss might even say that you need to “work on your Executive presence” before you can be promoted).?

If you’re suffering from BTS, it’s likely affecting the way you communicate with your staff and everyone around you. Using your Power Voice can clarify your points, hold someone's attention, and inspire powerful loyalty, which can translate into powerful impact.?

Here are some simple ways to use your Power Voice to remove BTS from your professional communication:

• Adopt a regular Power Voice practice routine. Before a big meeting, set aside 30-60 minutes.. Write down your points, and examine them for qualifiers, or anything that minimizes your point, or dilutes your authority. Stand up and speak your points out loud, and again: watch for qualifiers! If this exercise makes you uncomfortable or even emotional, that’s a sign that it’s working. Just let the emotions pass through, and do it again.

• Have the courage of your convictions. When you make your point, speak in a clear and confident voice, and let it land. Allow others to express dissenting opinions without rushing in to take care of their feelings. Let them adult their way through it! Stay strong and don’t soften your words. Show them that you won’t be dissuaded.?

• Examine your metaphors. Are they having the effect you want? Something like, “overburdened with tasks” might not get through to someone, but “drinking from a firehose” could do the trick. You’ll have to decide which one is right for which situation. Flexing your style when necessary is a power move.?

This is just one of the techniques I work on with my clients. I give Power Communication trainings to groups of Executives and professionals at companies like Microsoft, Amazon, Columbia Bank, Carharrt and Kimpton Hotels, both remotely and in person. DM me for more info about my trainings, rates and availability. I love hearing from you!