How to Suffer Less: #1 Key to Transform Your Life

Imagine this experiment with rats. Put a rat in a cage, alone, with two water bottles. One is just water. The other is water laced with heroin or cocaine. Almost every time you run this experiment, the rat will become obsessed with the drugged water, and keep coming back for more and more, until it kills itself.

Yes, but I’m not a rat or an addict.

Think again, humans are motivated by drugs produced in the reward centre of the brain that produces chemicals like dopamine to reward us for activities that feel good. There are four main types of feel good drugs - endorphines, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin.

These chemicals are produced naturally in the body and aren’t harmful per se, however the point I’m making is that they reward activities or behaviors that are unwanted. In a sense you’re a drug addict.

So what’s your drug of choice?

1.   If you’re a workaholic, high achiever, exercise a lot and live life always on then you’re drug of choice is endorphine (like morphine). Endorphins diminish our perceptions of pain and keep us going.

2.   You have a long to do list, ticking off everything you accomplish, a perfectionist, and feel great when you are achieving. You may even like to gamble, punting on the horses or slot machines. Your addicted to dopamine. Dopamine rewards motivated behavior.

3.   You love to please everyone and are always seeking recognition but never satisfied. Serotonin is your drug of choice. Serotonin provides the feeling of significance, pride, status. It drives us to seek the recognition of others.

What would happen, if we tried this experiment differently?

Professor Bruce Alexander, built Rat Park. It is a lush cage where rats have the best rat-food, colored balls and tunnels to scamper down and plenty of friends: everything a rat about town could want. What, happened then?

In Rat Park, all the rats obviously tried both water bottles, because they didn’t know what was in them. But what happened next is incredible.

The rats with good lives didn’t like the drugged water. They mostly shunned it, consuming less than a quarter of the drugs the isolated rats used. None of them died. While all the rats who were alone and unhappy became heavy users, none of the rats who had a happy environment did.

Yeah but, this experiment was done with rats, what about humans?

There is also a human equivalent experiment called the Vietnam War. Time magazine reported using heroin was “as common as chewing gum” among U.S. soldiers, and there is solid evidence to back this up: some 20 percent of U.S. soldiers had become addicted to heroin there, according to a study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry.

It was assumed a huge number of addicts would show up when the war ended.

But in fact 95 percent of the addicted soldiers — according to the same study — simply stopped. Very few had rehab. They shifted from a terrifying cage back to a pleasant one, so didn’t want the drug any more.

So how does this apply to me?

The key is to uncover your addictions (for many this is hard to distinguish, because if it feels good, the brain will make up a good story to justify behaviour. This is called a cognitive bias.) I use a unique 3d neuro simulation technique to uncover addictive behaviours.

What’s happening to the brain in rat park?

When you are connected and feel safe, protected and loved then the brain produces oxytocin that is a powerful chemical in the brain for rewarding social activity.

When you are getting your needs met, especially the human need for connection and intimacy then you are unlikely to turn to addictive behaviours to feel satisfied. People work hard to achieve 'success' but whats the use if you aren’t fulfilled.

Grant Wattie is Author of The Aroha Process: Your Journey of Transformation to Create an Extraordinary Life. Combining the power of storytelling with my life-long professional experience, I created The Aroha Process to help people transform themselves by living authentically, and with passion, power and purpose.