#1 | I have been there ... no really

by Benjamin Goss, MBA

I still remember it distinctly. It’s like a cold memory that sits on your chest like a heavy boulder making it physically hard to breathe when you think about it. My wife had called the cops, and there they were at the door looking up the stairs at both of us …

[Let me pause for a few … You either came here from an email that I sent you, or you were reading one of my other articles on LinkedIn. Well, however you happened to find this article – thank you for taking the time to stop by and check it out.

I think it’s important for you to understand at least a little bit about me. Or, as Charles Dickens writes in his classic tale A Christmas Carol, “There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate.”

Now obviously I am not dead, but if you don’t know my backstory, then I am not sure if what I have to say will be as powerful for you.]

Anyway, let’s get back to my story, I want to take you on a journey. I hope that you will come with me because it’s been a wild and amazing ride and I would love for you to come along…

… we had been arguing like an angry cat and a wounded dog, just going at it hammer and tongs. I was so angry out of fear, hurt and frustration that I was roaring. My voice was just WAY too loud. The children were upset and crying. And my wife … well she was snapping mad. Her voice cut across my mind and ears like a searing hot blade.

What was the problem?

Nope, I did not cheat on my wife nor she on me. Thankfully, we have been faithful to each other for nearly two and half decades, but it has been a very real, intense struggle at times. 

In this particular instance, my wife was angry because the bank account was getting VERY very low (as in negative). She felt like I had no sense of urgency and that I was just not bringing enough money in. I was upset because my back was against a wall, verbally with her, and financially with my business. 

I had two customers that had refused to pay me, costing me nearly six figures in income, my former company attorney had defrauded me by colluding with a contracted client, and a former business partner had stolen a high six figure contract which would have generated six figures in income for my share.

I don’t think that I was playing like an ostrich, head in the sand – which was why my wife was angrily, in a panic, calling me out. But I was hurt, angry and reeling from the multiple business relationship disasters. And now, the one who should be my biggest fan was instead raging at me for not doing enough. I wanted to be the victim. To have her and the world understand, “it’s not fair – it’s not my fault.”

It’s not worth the relational angst to try and remember who said what to whom and when. It’s far enough in the past now that it’s water under the bridge. But, I came to the realization that night that I had stopped doing what was necessary to keep my pipeline full and I had become addicted to “Hopium.” More to the point, my bank account did not care why it was empty – it was just going negative and fast! AAAAHHH!

Hopium is what happens when a salesperson, or small business owner, gets myopically focused on that “one big sale” or the “one big deal” and they think, act & say – “when this deal goes through – it’ll all be okay!” 

It’s a Hopium addiction because it is unhealthy and unwise to have your pipeline dwindle to the point that it no longer is producing enough income to pay the bills, and your deal still has not closed or paid out. That’s deadly and dangerous. You’re income should be coming in as if that deal didn’t exist. Why? Because – what if it doesn’t?   

Let’s face it, the number one reason that couples get divorced – aside from Facebook blowing up their lives – is finances. 

I don’t know where you are in your professional career and/or your search for an opportunity. But I truly hope that you are not there right now; in that awful place where I was (undisclosed number of years ago) that night … when I was looking at the cops at the bottom of the stairs to our split-level home, right there on my doorstep. 

Yup there was two of them, and a third out on the street if I remember correctly. A man and a woman officer, safety vests and weapons had come to my front door. Lights flashing on the street – oh God.  

Standing there in my doorway the male officer said “look, you both live here and both of you have the right to stay here” [my wife wanted me to leave and I had said “hell no, go ahead call the cops” – so she did … Crap emoji and face palm emoji, and a lot of other emojis…].   

He continued, “But, here’s the thing. Regardless, even if nothing physically bad has happened – if you call us again – one of you is going to jail. Because we cannot keep coming out here. So, if neither of you is leaving, then we advise you to figure it out or we will have to separate you for the night.” 

That’s a paraphrase – but you get the idea. Kind of like when you tell your fighting children, “if you don’t stop fighting right now, I will settle it for you.” Hear me?

It’s important to understand this episode of my life, because I have had career and financial success before this. And I have had it since then. But what happened that night was a watershed moment.

It’s times like these where you can either “man up/cowboy up” or you can wimp out and bail. Some people just cannot handle the pressure.  We have a large family and a lot of children together. Aside from that, my faith will not allow me to walk out on my wife or my children. My back was up against it – I really didn’t have the option to bail – even if I was that weak.

By God, when we married I said “For Better or For Worse…” and for sure this was one of those times that qualified as “For Worse.”

I hope that you are sticking with me … honestly, it’s hard to be this transparent. I truly hope this is worth it for you … I am really dialed in to make this series of 12 articles to be highly impactful. I am going to talk about the ways and means of “The Hustle,” and I look forward to your questions and comments.  

·        If you own a small business – you Hustle.

·        If you are a 1099 sales representative – you Hustle.

·        If you are a W2-employee account representative that gets commission – you Hustle.

·        If you are a professional salesperson in a field such as Real Estate, Insurance, Mortgage Broker, Financial Services or as an MLM Networker – you Hustle.

·        If you are a contractor, a tradesperson, a service provider that actually produces a product or provides the service – you Hustle.

·        If you are a LOOKING for an OPPORTUNITY as a CAREER CHANGE or as a SIDE HUSTLE – YEAH! You Hustle!

Over the next 12 articles, which I will also post as videos on YouTube and link the content together, I am going to share with you how I solved the income problem I described above. Yes, I had a horrible fight with my wife – but that was just a symptom of the deeper problem. How to go from negative money in the bank account + an angry wife, to staying married and fixing my income problem. 

I am going to share with you the EXACT same strategies that I used to double the size of my house, to go from two vehicles to four, and to go from negative dollars in the bank (yah – that’s correct), to regularly bringing home mid to high 5 figures in income each month.

I have made it a habit to sell $1MM to $2MM in services every year personally, and then on top of that I mentor, train, coach and serve guys & gals that need and/or want to do the same.

If you need an opportunity to make money ASAP – then send me a text and let’s start chatting and see what makes sense for you.

If you need/want to develop a SIDE HUSTLE that produces reliable, steady income to support what you already do full time. Then, send me an email, and I will start sharing some content with you to help you assess what skills you have, as well as what skills you need to Level Up your income.

!Click here! for the next article in the series (of 12) because I have another story article for you.

What do you do when you have nothing going for you … like at all?  

In the meantime, thanks for reading! Please “like” this article/post and “follow” me here in LinkedIn. I am really working hard to provide value and be of service to the LinkedIn community.

BTW … Professional Coaches, Experts & Mentors ready to help you Level Up!

Benjamin Goss, MBA

www.sellingisorganic.com

I provide coaching, mentoring and public speaking on the topics of social media marketing, direct sales (including door2door, telemarketing, B2B, B2C, and digital marketing. I enable salespeople, small business owners, and professionals to properly equip, positively position, and then close the deal! I am a published author with several titles to my name on Amazon already; including Writing Copy Online: The 21 C’s of Content Creation & Curation. I will be releasing others including Selling Is Organic, How to Eff Up Your Life: in 12 easy steps, 365 Things You Can Do to Market Your Business, and perhaps 1 or 2 more titles in 2020.

You can text me directly at: 804.258.3231

Shane Borza, MHR, Strong First & ICF Certified Coach

As an internationally certified coach for both physical & psychological fitness, Shane specializes in optimizing strength in mind & body to ensure your optimal performance in thoughts and actions.

Shane is the author of Total Mountain Fitness, set to release in 1Q2020, and has at least 2 more titles set to release later in 2020.

Book A Call with Shane Here Now! www.getequalized.com

James Ferguson, Attorney

Mindfulness Instructor & Certified Transformation Coach

James helps professionals who understand that the stress of their career is a health hazard they MUST address in order to live their best life. As a practicing lawyer, he understands the intense stress that leads to destructive thoughts & behaviors and is ready with compassion, energy & focus to help you.

James is the author of the soon to be released ZEN DEFENDER: The Art of Peaceful Lawyering.

Book a Discovery Call with James Here Now! www.winthismoment.com

The Solve Network

The digital multi-media network that helps you gain perspective, troubleshoot & execute faster than you thought possible! Whether you are seeking Mentoring, Coaching, or a safe & private Master Mind Group where you can “air things out.” We have the setting, the forum and the communities you are looking for. Because, in the words of world-renowned author, Ken Blanchard, “None of us is as smart as all of us!”

Check us out & Get on the List: www.thesolvenetwork.com! 

Review the Complete Arc of Articles below:

https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/summary-article-story-arcc-benjamin-goss-mba

1.      https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/1-i-have-been-really-benjamin-goss-mba/

2.      https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/2-struggle-very-real-benjamin-goss-mba

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5.      https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/5-how-eff-up-your-life-12-easy-steps-benjamin-goss-mba

6.      https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/6-what-gets-measured-done-peter-drucker-father-modern-goss-mba

7.      https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/7-bens-jammin-market-crushing-strategy-list-benjamin-goss-mba

8.      https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/8-what-i-told-you-traditional-job-dead-benjamin-goss-mba

9.      https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/9-dream-me-you-wont-benjamin-goss-mba 

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12.  https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/do-act-positive-think-its-either-benjamin-goss-mba