The #1 Enemy of Success

I think if you took a poll, 99% of people say they want to be successful (by whatever definition they have of success.) So why aren't more people in the pursuit of their success? What is holding most people (maybe even you) back from achieving the success you so much desire?

One word.... FEAR!

Fear has its place when we feel we are in danger to protect us from legitimate threats, but when not recognized is more often the enemy to us achieving what we dream about. In this newsletter I'll briefly uncover three Fears that I think are the most common and sneakiest that tend to keep a lot of people chained from achieving their goals and dreams.

1.Fear of Failure: As children we are taught not to fail. It begins in school and is often carried into adulthood. I naturally had this fear myself until I was taught through some books and by mentors that failing is a steppingstone to success. I am not saying that one shouldn’t do their due diligence in planning and preparing, but despite all of one’s effort you may fail in what you are trying to accomplish.

Failing doesn’t mean you are a failure. I was taught to Try, Fail and Adjust.

What can you do about it? Here are 3 suggestions:

1.??Dig into some autobiographies, biographic, and business profile books from successful people (@robertkiyosaki, @grantcardone, @joelosteen @elonmusk, @johnmaxwell, etc.) and read their stories of what they went through on the way to their success. Did they have any fears to overcome?

2.?Interview some leaders in your community or business and ask them about their struggle-to-victory story.

3.??Join some groups and network with others in your field to discover what failures they had and learn from them.

2. Fear of Being Judged: I believe the thought, “What will others think?” has held thousands of people back from achieving their dreams. There is an actual psychological condition for this called, “allodoxaphobia.”

We give too much weight on the opinions of others. Here are 3 things to think about when we have the thoughts about what other people are thinking about us:

1.?Most people really don’t care because they are not thinking about you as much as you think they are. They are more interested in themselves.

2.?Take a look at yourself. If we are judging others, we will assume others are judging us.

3.?If you have something in your past that you feel ashamed about, and you are embarrassed remember that your past doesn't equal your present and you are probably the only one that knows or remembers it.

A close mentor taught me that if I’m constantly thinking what someone else is thinking of ME, then I’m being selfish. My thoughts are about me! I had to learn how to turn self-centeredness into a place of other-centeredness. So, instead of thinking about what someone was thinking about me, I instead think about what I can do for the other person:

1.?How can I encourage them?

2.?What can I say to lift them up?

3.?Is there something I can do to help them?

3. Fear of Success: The fear of success comes from us thinking about how we will respond or not live up to other’s expectations after we succeed. If someone has a fear of success, they tend to sabotage themselves when they are close to their goal.

This fear can come from:

1. ?A feeling of being underserving of being successful.

2.?Thinking of yourself as being an imposter forgetting of the skills that got you to where you are.

3.?Revisiting past failures and thinking you may fail at this goal as well.

So, what can we do to eliminate these fears?:

1.?Know that every person has seeds of greatness within them and is deserving of success.

2.?Make a list of the skills, knowledge and work that has brought you to where you are.

3. Learn from past mistakes and failed attempts, but drop the guilt and burden of them. Remember that success is built of failure!

In conclusion, if you seem to be struggling in the pursuit of your dreams and goals or thought you'd be farther ahead, maybe one of these fears are holding you back. Overcoming a fear isn't easy, it's a battle. But you need to first identify the enemy before you can attack it. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing, but I ran across a great article by @AmyMorin in Forbes that would be good to print and keep on-hand to use as weapons against our fears:

10 Ways To Overcome The Fears That Prevent You From Living Your Dream Life

1.?????Be Inspired by Others

2.?????Remind Yourself of the Benefits

3.?????Establish a Plan

4.?????Create a Timeline

5.?????Establish Short-Term Goals

6.?????Take One Step Toward Your Dream Every Day

7.?????Be Prepared for Obstacles

8.?????Keep Track of Your Progress

9.?????Visualize Success

10.?Tell Others About Your Dream