#07: Forgetting how lucky I am

Book #07:?The Aquariums of Pyongyang ?- Kang Chol-Hwan

Type?     Non-Fiction
Genre?    Memoir
Format?   Paperback
Pages?    238
Completed?26 Feb 2023
My Rating?*****        

My first 5-star rating of the year, this book blew me away, even though it was written over 20 years ago.

I have always been curious about North Korea but never read a defector’s memoir. This account was very difficult to read - simultaneously fascinating and deeply depressing. It still shocks me how terrible humans can be to one another, and this amplifies many of the things we see in the media (war, violence, crime, terrorism) to another level of prolonged and consistent disregard for life.

Kang Chol-Hwan’s life started in Japan, then shifted to North Korea and eventually to South Korea after his successful defection. I didn’t know much about the relationship between Japan and North Korea before reading this book. One of the most surprising parts of the tale was that many families were lured back to North Korea, from Japan, sold a lie that the economy was strong and that they would continue to help rebuild their motherland.

Many of these families arrived on the shores of North Korea, shocking friends or relatives who had made the trip before them; they had sent letters of warning that never made it out of the country. Now they were stuck. The author’s story chronicles the details of his family’s move and subsequent demise, ending up in a ‘re-education camp’ (concentration camp) for over ten years of his life.

If you want to start to understand what the people of North Korea have been through in the last several decades, this book will educate you. I am on the look out for more up-to-date accounts to understand what, if anything, has changed over the last 20 years.

Takeaway #07: Lucky doesn’t cut it

As a child, my parents always used to remind me ‘how lucky i was’ whenever I complained too much or let ungratefulness get the better of me. I understood the logic being used, but I’m not sure the true weight of the message stuck with me for longer than a day or so back then.

Since then, I have gradually learned more and more about luck. I consider myself incredibly lucky. I seem to (mostly) fit the mould of many of the ideals that our society imposes upon us, making life smooth-sailing in a general sense. Add to that the fact I had access to a good education, was born in a country not impacted by wars, and have a supportive family - and suddenly the luck seems extreme. It can sometimes make me feel guilty.

But the way I am interpreting the word ‘lucky’ doesn’t feel like it contains the weight necessary to explain the gap between the daily atrocities some North Korean people face and my comfortable life. It’s very easy to tell yourself you are lucky. It’s pretty easy to get to the stage where you truly believe it. But it’s not easy to remember it every day and it’s not easy to describe?how?lucky most of us are. Reading this book certainly added to my perspective on luck.

Lesson #07: Connecting

Something I have really enjoyed recently is the connection that reading time is giving me to other people.

It’s a great conversation starter to ask people to recommend me a book, and then explain the challenge I have set myself. The best part is, I?really?care about their answer, because I know I will actually read some of the suggestions - I’m not just making small talk.

More often than not, the answers I receive surprise me and I think this has enabled me to connect on a more meaningful level with a lot of people recently. You discover interests you never knew people had, uncover enthusiasm you hadn’t seen expressed before and generally open up a little more to each other.

Something I will call ‘silent connection’ is also a great halo-effect of this challenge. My wife and I have started spending time sitting together reading, in silence. Something we never did before. Sometimes the silence is broken, as we share something interesting from the page in front of us. And just to make us sound far older than we actually are - sometimes we are both sitting in bed, and my wife is knitting…

If you enjoyed this, check out my other book summaries here !

As always, all these articles can also be found on my old Substack blog,?Prospection , where you can subscribe for email updates if you’re enjoying following along! I’ll be writing more than just book summaries there once I get back into the swing of things.