028 - Who listens to the listener? Part 2

In Part 1, we looked at how impactful senior leaders are not only guides but need to also excel in dual-directional listening: both outward to stakeholders and inward to their experiences. Balancing these ensures harmony and fosters trust, innovation, and effective problem-solving.

Leaders are perpetually in the spotlight, expected to be the "ears" of their organization. They are tasked with absorbing feedback from every corner, discerning challenges, synthesising vast amounts of information, and deriving actionable insights. They are the touchpoint for grievances, the radar for opportunities, and the custodians of an organization's ethos. In essence, they're continually listening, processing, and adjusting.

Yet, the paradox emerges when we consider this: Who listens to the listener?

While a leader might be adept at understanding the needs of their team, stakeholders, and organization at large, there is often a void when it comes to addressing their own personal challenges. Their position, while influential, can also be profoundly isolating.

"The measure of a man is what he does with power." Plato

• The Responsibility of Roles: Leaders, therapists, and other listening professionals often occupy roles where their primary responsibility is to hear, understand, and respond to the needs of others. Their job often entails prioritising others' emotions, concerns, and well-being over their own.

"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." Ernest Hemingway

• The Emotional Toll: Constantly being the receiver of others' emotions and challenges can be draining. Over time, without an outlet, listeners can experience burnout, fatigue, and even emotional distress.

"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome."?Brene Brown

• Finding an Outlet: Those in listening roles must have mechanisms in place to process their emotions and challenges. Therapists, for instance, often have their own therapists. Leaders may lean on mentors, coaches, or peer networks. Caregivers may seek support groups. It's vital for these individuals to find their own safe space where they can be the speaker, not just the listener.

• The Ripple Effect: When the primary listener in any context is well-supported and emotionally healthy, it creates a more effective and empathetic listening environment for those they serve. It fosters a space of genuine understanding and connection.

• The Collective Responsibility: As a society, recognising the emotional needs of those who often listen is essential. This involves creating cultures in workplaces, families, and institutions that prioritise mental well-being, encourage open dialogues, and value the importance of everyone having a listening ear, irrespective of their role.

"To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." Eleanor Roosevelt

Potential Listening Avenues for Leaders:

• Executive Coaches: These professionals offer more than just business advice. They're trained to delve into the psyche of leaders, unpacking their decision-making patterns, and helping them navigate personal and professional challenges.

"When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new."?Dalai Lama

• Peer Support Groups: Being a leader doesn't mean going it alone. Networks or organisations designed for executives offer a unique space for shared experiences, mutual advice, and a respite from the weight of leadership.

• Mentors: A mentor's experience and wisdom can serve as a guiding light, offering both a broader perspective and nuanced advice stemming from their own leadership journeys.

• Counselling and Therapy: While sometimes stigmatised, especially in corporate circles, mental well-being is paramount. Leaders, like anyone, can benefit from the introspection, strategies, and emotional tools therapists provide.

• Trusted Inner Circle: Colleagues, especially those at similar levels of leadership or from other organisations, can offer invaluable insights. Their shared understanding of the pressures of leadership can create a foundation of trust and mutual support.

• Advisory Boards: Beyond business strategies, these groups can also provide emotional and moral support. They often see the broader picture and can offer guidance on both personal and organizational fronts.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."?Maya Angelou

Recognising the paradoxical solitude senior leaders sometimes face, despite their central role, is crucial. Organisations, peers, and the leaders themselves should prioritise creating safe spaces for expression, reflection, and support. After all, nurturing the well-being of those at the helm ensures a healthier direction for the entire ship.

END Part 2 of 2

Alrick?has been in the advertising industry for the last 27 years.?A CPA by trade, he is currently the COO of TBWA Singapore & Malaysia, and the Chief Pricing Officer for TBWA Asia.?Alrick has been part of the transformation team and operationalising those outcomes with the companies that he has worked for. His interest lies in incorporating technology into businesses, B2B pricing, and?coaching?and mentoring start-ups and troubled businesses.