02. The time when - I wanted an extra head

I believe most Nigerians are familiar with the question our parents would ask when we failed to meet up with academic expectations as kids. They would refer to the top student in class and ask with so much disappointment in their tone, "Does he/she have more than one head?".

At a point, I thought that they actually possessed more than one head with the other being invisible and dedicated to retaining knowledge. Because I couldn't fathom the possibility of carrying all that school information, coupled with nursery rhymes, long memory verses, and the latest barbie episode (Ben 10 for the boys) in my tiny head. It just had to break at one point. Right?

WRONG!!!

A 2010?article in Scientific American explained that the memory capacity of the human brain was the equivalent of 2.5 petabytes of memory capacity.?A “petabyte” is equivalent to 1024 terabytes or a million gigabytes, meaning the average adult human brain is capable of storing 2.5 million gigabytes, in terms of digital memory.

But this is not a science class, right? Let's get to the reason why you're reading this...

As a child, I genuinely believed I was one of the dumbest in my class. In elementary/primary school, I remember being an extremely playful child who was forced to study. I had no visibility on my grades in school (or maybe I just never cared to remember), and since I never got awarded with gifts on prize-giving day or received compliments/high-fives from my teachers, I assumed the worst of myself academically.

Let me buttress the first point I need you to take note of by rephrasing an important statement. I had developed a poor academic Mindset/Perception of myself.

In my first year of middle/junior secondary school, this demeaning perception solidified because this time, I had the visibility on my grades and was solely responsible for my own success. There was no one to force me to study and push me to complete my assignments (the fact that I was in boarding school made matters even worse). I recall opening my first term result and capturing my "15th out of 27" ranking with so much complacency. To me, it was an excellent grade for someone with poor academic capabilities. The result couldn't have been any better.

Another point to note here is that my environment completely played against my favor. I was hardly in school because I would fall ill regularly. I had developed anxiety stomach pains because I was constantly being bullied. The stress that came with "thinking" about surviving each day without being bullied negatively impacted my gut motility, and it became a struggle for me to concentrate on my studies. There was no way I could excel in such an environment.

It's not that I did not try hard enough. I made sure I improved on my study habits and paid as much attention as I possibly could in class. I genuinely wanted an extra head. I wanted to be the child other parents would refer to while scolding their own kids, asking them if I had an extra head. But no matter how much I tried, my poor mindset prevailed and my environment rendered all efforts futile.

In my second year, my parents made the decision for me to switch schools (to a day school this time, as recommended by a specialist) three weeks into resumption, and I was placed in a "C" class.

Guess what!!!

I'm not sure if you guessed correctly, but at the end of the term I emerged "1st out of 23".

It was shocking, yes, but what was more shocking was the fact that my average grade percentage had also exceeded that of the second best student in the "B" class. At the end of the academic session, I was among the top three (3) students across the "A", "B" and "C" classes, and in my third year, I had been promoted to the "A" class.

So what happened differently? What was the reason behind the sudden leap in my grades?

Two things:

1. Mindset/Perception re-orientation
2. Environmental modification

You see, our mindset and environment work hand in hand to determine the outcome of our lives. One could influence the other, or they could both operate independently to affect the choices we make.

I'll walk you through my defining moments with respect to the two points I previously highlighted.

Mindset/Perception re-orientation

From reading my story, most of you would assume that my mindset began to change when I switched schools. While that is entirely true, it is worth noting that even in my first year, there was a mild change. Although little, it was very much evident. Remember I mentioned I really wanted an extra head and I wanted to be seen a certain way? That was the exact point my perception of myself began to change.

It was Dale Carnegie who said,

"It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy. It is what you think about it."

From my thoughts, I made conscious efforts to improve on my study habits by ACTUALLY studying during Prep Time, rather than playing like I normally would. Of course, this was important, but it just could not work in my environment at the time. Even though I so desperately wanted to attain the best grades, my environment derailed my progress and brought me back to square one each time. This is why I needed an...

Environmental modification

Quick Question - If you believed your advanced skills were under-utilized or forcefully suppressed in your current role and an opportunity that embraced those skills sprung forth, would you remain there? Or do you think you would sit still as a talented /renowned singer in the midst of amateurs?

Chances are, you wouldn't!!! It's a mindset thing.

You either modify your environment to suit your needs (if it is in your power), or you change your environment entirely.

In my case, I moved (or at least, the specialist and my parents made me move) from a toxic environment to a stress-free zone, where I applied the little habits I had gained during my perception change. It doesn't mean that I didn't face any challenges at my new school. In fact, I still did...A LOT, but none of those impacted my focus, or the way I saw myself.

The result? I simply flourished.

And it did not stop at the first milestone, neither did it stop at the second or third (it still hasn't stopped). My little 'wins' kept re-solidifying the perception I had of myself and boy, did I push myself until I graduated high school.

Yes, I was no BGS (Best Graduating Student), but my foundation had been built. All I needed was to hold on strongly to the new perception I had of myself - a relentless goal-getter, and every other thing would fall in place.

As Steve Maraboli once said,

"Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it."

It turns out I didn't really need an extra head after all.

Okay.....

Now, I want you to do something for me. It may sound cliché, but I promise you it works. At least, change your perception and set your mind to listen to me this time.

Take two minutes, it could be five or ten, depending on how much time you're willing to spend, but take some time to reflect on the following:

1. What do you truly think of yourself? Who do you think you are? With your current self-view, do you sincerely think you have what it takes to achieve the goals you have planned? The positive affirmations you say to yourself, do you truly believe them or is it just a chore for you? What steps can you begin to adopt to change your perception of yourself and the world?
2. How has your environment hindered you from attaining your goals? Can you see a limitation in your capabilities based on the company you keep, or your place of work/study? Is there any way you can modify your current environment to accommodate your goals? Can you truly walk out of that toxic environment that severely hinders your growth?

I encourage you to reflect and ponder on these questions. But it's not enough to think it, DO IT. These changes would most likely not guarantee immediate results, and that's why you need to understand that true success is a continuous process. You would most likely not notice it until you indulge in retrospection.

If you believe you have a solid growth mindset concerning yourself and your future and you are currently flourishing in the environment you are in, CONGRATULATIONS!!! You are on the right track. Like I mentioned previously, its a continuous process. Reflect on these questions as often as you can and watch yourself emerge as you take steps in right direction.

This is where I share one of my personal reflections with you:

No one would see you as the star that you truly are unless you begin to see yourself that way.

Till the next one, I leave you with my love and light.

Yours truly,

Abby