Keynote Speaker on OPTIMIZING PERFORMANCE WITH OPTIMISM | Author of "Reimagining Blue" | Former Chief of the Aurora IL Police Department
This week I've flown from Colorado Springs, to Washington DC, and [next] to Chicago. I have observations from the joys of air travel, where logic takes a nosedive and common sense is as lost as your luggage. Let’s start with the grand finale of every flight: the landing. The plane hits the tarmac, and suddenly, everyone transforms into Olympic sprinters in the starting blocks. Newsflash: we’re all getting off this tin can; your standing sprinter's pose and derrière in my face isn’t getting you there any faster! Now, let’s talk about the middle seat. It’s universally acknowledged that this unfortunate soul gets dibs on both armrests. It’s not a luxury; it’s survival, people! As a proud aisle citizen, I bequeath my armrest to the middle-seat warrior, a small token of my sympathy for their squeezed existence. Deplaning etiquette dictates that we are supposed to flow row by row, in a harmonious exodus into the terminal. But there’s always that one person treating it like a Black Friday sale, trying to bulldoze through. *An exemption to this: if you’re on a mission to catch a connection and sprint like you're in the Olympics, just shout it out! We’re not monsters; we’ll cheer you on and clear the path! Overhead bins. The rule is simple: stow your bags near your seat, not 20 rows ahead, turning the deplaning process into a salmon-spawning upstream swim. And let’s not forget the aisle dance, featuring your bags and backpacks as unwitting wrecking balls, smacking into seats and passengers alike. Finally, please keep your sock-clad hobbit feet out of the seat crack! This isn’t a footrest; it’s a no-go zone for your pungent piggies. Remember, folks, this is a shared space, so let’s keep it fresh and stick to our own personal bubble, shall we? In the end, despite the chaos, choose amusement over frustration. Laughter is your passport in the bizarre world of air travel, where every flight is a comedy show waiting to happen. Buckle up, relax, and enjoy the in-flight entertainment courtesy of your fellow passengers.
Jesica Lopez-Huskey
8 个月
Surprised there was no mention of those that recline their seats. That daredevil move typically sets off a domino effect throughout the entire plane with the exception of the person sitting in the last seat. I once heard a pilot trigger a mood of empathy for all who listened when he acknowledged how much it took for us all to get there- waking up early, driving from afar, missing connections, etc. Such a great reminder to be kind to one another.
Tim Croll
8 个月
Why does everyone assume that those of us that stand do so for the sake of getting off the plane first ... It just isn't so... Those of use over 6' stand to stretch. I don't care if I am the last one off the plane as long as I can stretch my legs from the compact seats. Just a different way to think about it from a different perspective.
Angela Trillhaase
8 个月
Very well said! Would like to print and post this on the back of every airplane seat - with the addition of "PLEASE give parents of small children so much support when they are clearly doing everything they can to keep those developing humans in line/happy." Sounds like we had the same itinerary AND the same experiences. You did remind me of the guy next to me two weeks ago who allowed his peeled, hard boiled egg to roll across my lap and onto the floor before he proceeded to eat THREE hard boiled eggs!?? Safe travels to you.
Kyle Younkin
8 个月
One more: do not get fall-down drunk and have very angry & very, very personal yelling matches with your family. Just..as a reminder.
Kenny James
8 个月
If women could just see the floor in front of public mens' room urinals and toilets, they'd never go without shoes in public ever again or lie/sit down on the floor in public spaces.
Bill Stafford
8 个月
Someone else said it best: Only we as a species could take flight, one of the most amazing things a human could do and turn it into the worst experience at scale.
Suzanne Greene
8 个月
You forgot "don't watch videos or listen to music without a headset!??
Norman Saxvik
8 个月
Don’t forget to mention those people who feel the need to listen to music or watch movies or play video games sans headsets so everyone else can enjoy listening to their version of entertainment. A real treat especially on a red eye flight…??
Territory Manager, Midwest/Northeast
8 个月T/Y for posting.. I have MANY times started to pen these exact points. One more.. using the back of my seat as a crane/hoist for you to get out of your seat.