Lessons Learned From “Dying Repeatedly”:
I just completed a graded field exercise where I had to lead my team through a “minefield” represented by a complex water puzzle, a seemingly impossible task. I was confident I could find an answer because I had completed my previous practical exam without issue. Coincidentally, my team had fears concerning some of the obstacles, so I decided to attempt the exam alone. But, repeatedly, the goal fell just outside my grasp as I plummeted into the cold water… over….and over…and over. I’ll never forget the anger-filled words of my grader, “Hernandez, what benefit are you to your team if you’re dead?” Underlying the depth of his extreme statement was an insightful truth.
He explained that instead of having faith in my team without pause, I thoughtlessly cast my life into a sacrificial pyre. Unknowingly, my uncalculated “heroics” bred chaos, which could lead to a needless loss of life on the battlefield. “Leading” is “service;” however, my extreme response only brought more uncertainty to a complex and stressful situation. Undoubtedly, the water was the “challenge,” but I was the “problem.” I failed to embrace that I had no answer, so my desperation and worldview caused me to turn to “self-sacrifice.” My actions were not “leadership.” They were “madness.”
I wanted to be a “hero” for my men, but my idealism could be my men’s “death sentence.” I neglected to realize that “heroism” is an ideal while “leading” is an act. I naively believed that my ideals and “will” could surmount the goal, but I failed to digest that I was only a piece in a broader tapestry of resources. I learned three things soaking wet from “dying repeatedly.”
1. Be mindful of your ego and capacity.
2. During times of uncertainty, double down on the abilities of your team.
3. Not all Marines can swim…trust me.
Disclosure: I completed 99% of Marine Officer Candidate School but am not a Marine. However, I hold a profound respect for the Corps and its members.
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1 个月You have such valuable experience, Treena! I agree that connecting with others in this field is a great way to learn and grow together, especially in today’s changing world.