“Men would rather (insert activity) than go to therapy”, is a meme that pokes fun at the unique hobbies men love. Many laugh at these men. Asking why they meticulously restore trains, go fishing, enact historic battles, sing sea shanties, trudge up mountains, or dive into frozen lakes... But have these cynics not stopped to ask if, to these men, that is therapy? Is hiking a mountain therapy? Is building a trebuchet therapy?? Is going to the gym therapy? Is enacting the Battle of Agincourt therapy? I think it is. Considering our?#malesuicide?epidemic, it’s sad to see so many of the idiosyncratic outlets many men use, mocked, derided, or seen as an ‘excuse’ for the very thing these activities already are. So why are we holding onto antiquated, clinical and largely female-centric models of ‘therapy’, and mocking men who choose a different route, for their own needs? And who gets to gatekeep what qualifies as ‘therapy’? If anything, these men dressed in suits of armour swinging swords in the rain, climbing Kilimanjaro with their mates, singing Wellerman, or plunging into ice cold lakes, are the innovators of novel therapeutic models, who we should not smugly insult, but learn from, and admire. So to these men – who bravely pursue such hobbies, and who gain tremendous mental health benefits as a result – I salute you as pioneers, ahead of your time, and I will happily join your next great battle. Thank you for showing us the way. So, what is therapy to you? Join the conversation at @TheTinMen on Instagram. #mensmentalhealth?#malesuicideawareness #therapy #malepsychology - APPG Men and Boys Male Suicide https://lnkd.in/emjkV33Q
Fully believe in all these things as therapy and would never mock this. As someone who isn’t a man, I so relate to this as well. A man I know also reflected, in hard times, immersing in an activity he loved reminded him he was still good at something - at at time he felt like he wasn’t good at much. Therapy is where you find it. What a joy to have something you love to do, no matter what it is.
I spent years in therapy for trauma and along the way unpacked a host of things that were making me unhappy. I changed my life and career in ways I could not have imagined without it. I am a thousand times happier because of it. Talking to someone who is not invested in your life, who is not trying to make you ‘feel better’ and who applies years of learning in human relationships to bring you to a state where you are open to seeing things differently (aka healing) is not to be dismissed as ‘just talking’, or ‘woman centric’.
100% it is. Therapy in its most broad definition is "treatment intended to?relieve?or heal a disorder". Tennis and being with my son is therapy for me. One thing I would like to see changed across is that we have many employers offering Family Violence leave entitlements for Victim Survivors. It's equally or even more important that we cater for the needs of men or women who have used violence to be able to address what is going on for them, such a therapy leave. Whether that be LARPing or seeing a Psychologist.
What counts as therapy can be different for everyone. So long as it is helping that person work through things, or relieve some stress or worry, then who is anyone else to comment/judge. Afterall, it can be the lack of hobbies or interests that can lead to loneliness and isolation...
Absolutely! Men's hobbies, connection, and a sense of community are so essential - not just as hobbies, but as ways to stay grounded in their masculine energy. While these activities might not be “therapy” in the formal sense, they definitely serve a therapeutic purpose, helping men find balance and strength. It’s a shame anyone would poke fun at something so vital to their well-being. Men absolutely need these outlets, their tribe, and a sense of purpose. Thanks for sharing this, George! ????
This is a Yes!~ And! For me… instead of regurgitating here, I concur with what Frederick Van Riper, R-PLC said, and adding… These activities can be deeply spiritual for men and help them connect with all of who they are. This opens them to therapy if they choose that to be a part of their journey. I see this in my practice with men~ it is quite profound to witness the transformations… I count it a privilege.
All of these activities can be therapeutic and bring enormous benefits whether it be spending time outdoors in nature, connecting with others, being fully present in the moment or finding joy in an activity. However, to my mind, that is not necessarily the same as being therapy. ????
Touching leaves and feeling the rain on my face helped me heal - talking just made me feel worse. To all motorcycle-fixers, trebuchet-builders, sea-shanty-singers and wild swimmers - I salute you. Sounds way better to me.
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1 周thetinmen For me (as with many things), it's "both and." I absolutely agree that anything can be therapy if it’s truly therapeutic—helping you relax, recharge, and feel more at ease. AND it's important to acknowledge that many men are raised not to talk about their emotions as it's perceived as weakness. We need to talk about the root causes of relationship issues -- relationship with self and others. 100% we need to stop policing men’s authentic self-expression and pretending there’s only one 'right' way to be a man. AND we can encourage men to face and express their hard feelings instead of running from them. The activities mentioned are healthy outlets—as long as they don’t become escapes that keep emotions bottled up. Love the post ... we need to encourage all spaces for men to heal and these can and should be inclusive and expansive, not singularly focused.