Let's Be Unprofessional Today

What does "being professional” mean to you?

This came up in a coaching session today and the client, a Johannesburg attorney, had a breakthrough moment realising that she has been programmed with a set of limiting beliefs around what constitutes “being professional”. She’s going to be exploring what it means to her – and I wanted to share her task, so you can benefit from this exercise too.

I decided for the sake of being authentic in my message today, to replace my banner photo today, which was a photo taken by my photographer friend, with?this selfie I took in bed this morning. Amazing what black & white can do - I promise I actually looked worse than this. No makeup, teeth and hair unbrushed. When it's cold I like to do the first hour or 2 of work from bed if I'm not doing the school run. Is this unprofessional?

What “being professional” means for many lawyers is that?you think you need to:

• Be different at work to who you are at home.
• Not care deeply about your clients.
• Avoid mentioning anything about your personal life to clients.
• Dress like other lawyers dress: dark suits, white shirts etc.
• Avoid having any emotions in front of your clients.
• Manage their emotions “professionally” – eg pass the tissues and move to the next issue.
• Jump to the client’s requests that every matter is handled immediately or on their timeline.
• Always know what clients are talking about.
• Have an answer or legal insight into anything you're asked about

But none of this is true.

It’s all just a bunch of beliefs you have made up along the way, many if not all of which do not serve you or your clients.

The truth is that you need to be you.

That means being authentic.?And your power will derive from your authenticity.

Pretending to be someone you're not weakens you.

Clients will be drawn to you because you are authentic. Not because you have perfectly coiffed hair that you blowdry straight each morning and are wearing a crisply ironed shirt. Could someone authentically like ironing their hair and shirts? This is too far out of my current reality to comment on. I do have a hair iron thing in a box somewhere. I'm not going to get too high and mighty here ;-) But at this point - while I'm digressing a bit - I have to add that the concept that there is something that constitutes "professional hair" for black women must be abolished. It is so damaging. I never want to hear from another law student that she's afraid when she goes to a firm that her hair will be considered unprofessional. I get torn between wanting to say "run from any job that is going to try to destroy your sense of self worth" yet being aware that when you've been surviving on grants or R1000/ month as a law student and now you've been offered a salary of R40 000/pm as a CA - of course you're going to take it! Honestly, I don't have all the answers but I'll help you talk about hard things and find greater peace with your choices.)

I think we need to consider how to be AUTHENTIC instead of PROFESSIONAL.

Clients actually want someone they can relate to. 99% of the time. (Let's just agree 1% of clients want a rabid bulldog who will fight the other side until they run away with their tails between their legs.)

An authentic lawyer allows her clients to be authentic.

She doesn't speak down to her clients.

She's on her game, most of the time and apologises when she's not.

She asks questions or admits she doesn't know the answer when the client is not making themselves clear or when she doesn't know the answer. She knows this isn't because she's stupid. So she has no fear of looking or sounding stupid.

She's comfortable with her clients' emotions because she's done her own emotional work. She knows clients will approach her at highly emotional times in their lives and is prepared for this.

CLIENT/ LAWYER DYNAMICS

Clients will mostly relate to you as child/ adult – you have the power as the lawyer. In this case if you are an awakening lawyer, you see that’s dysfunctional and that you need to empower your client to understand their legal issues and take responsibility for the decisions made. It doesn’t become your matter, because you’re the lawyer. It's THEIR life. Here, being authentic means helping empower the client so they shift out of feeling helpless or like you hold all the cards to their future.

Other clients will treat you as “a pair of hands” – you must do their bidding exactly as they say. They may try to bully you - and with these clients, everything is usually urgent, even when they will only look at the thing you work through the night on, when it suits them a few days later.

An awakening lawyer in this scenario will be authentic by putting firm boundaries in place with her client or indicating that the client may wish to find another lawyer if things need to be done in a very specific way.

Please see Peter Block's profound book (with a crappy title)?Flawless Consulting . It could totally change the way you interact with clients. It is also REALLY good on how and when to have the fee conversations and not leaving that until the end of the meeting because you feel awkward about it. (Put your hand up if you do that? MINE IS UP. Can't find that emoticon!)

The world is shifting FAST right now.

We are being required to integrate the different parts of our lives like never before - especially now that a massive chunk of us are working from home.

We cannot be separate people at work and home. We are working at home. There is no commute to de-role.

Our children climb on our laps while we host meetings.

We stir dinner while replying to voice messages.

We give instructions while walking on the mountain. (God I love Whatsapp, but it now dominates my whole life as I’m back to communicating with 20 or 30 people on there a day – and it still doesn't have a foldering system! Am I alone here? And this is why I cannot email you - but I can voicenote, because I am fetching my kid, making dinner or walking the dog. I'm not going to wake at 4am so I can take care of everything before I start work. I have choices.?I am privileged to have choices?and it makes sense to me that I make wise choices and do not enslave myself to my work when I do not have to do so. Many are not so fortunate.)

Let’s figure out who you came here to be.

All of who you came here to be.

And then start allowing this YOU, this integrated you, to show up everywhere.

You won’t lose clients.

And if you do, those you lose weren’t your soulmate clients anyway.

The world has enough highly professional, black suited, tightly wound, unhappy lawyers. You don't need to be one of them.

(Unless this sounds like your dream life.)

Reach out if you’re interested in discovering how to create the next UPLEVELLED version of YOU.

I am a legal futurist, a lawyer coach and a channel.run Awakening Lawyers to help lawyers who love the law but are disillusioned and disheartened by the way it’s practised, to re-imagine and redesign their lives so that they can practice in their own way, in their own time, and on their own terms.

I love working with lawyers at all stages of their awakening journey, especially those who are starting to see a new role for themselves as peacemakers, as justice warriors and as activists for social change. I work with my clients to deal with the challenges they face working within a restrictive and often conservative legal culture that promotes hiding your authentic self under a professional mask and suppressing both your own and your client’s emotions. I help you figure out the unique thing YOU came here to do, and how to do that. (and have fun, and earn well doing it!)

l look forward to hearing from you if it feels right. Always go by HOW YOU FEEL. If this feels exciting - reach out to me. Or drop a comment - I'm all about authentic conversations.