Michael W.的动态

Is ‘Crazy’ Being Used Too Much as a Social Weapon and What Does Our Readiness to Discredit Victims of Abuse Say About us as a Race? ? This is inspired by a post I saw on X by Ryan Daigler – and it was Sean Joseph who is a mutual connection that drew my attention to this commentator. At the time of writing ‘crazy’ is being used as a catch-all insult and social weapon to discredit victims of abuse, in all its forms. Not only are those who exhibit normal responses to bullying and abuse being labelled ‘crazy’ and ‘mental’ by the perpetrators, but by those who are happy to enable to abuse, in order to ensure they are not the targets. In many cases it is also used as a ‘pre-emptive strike’ by the abuser, in order to discredit their victim/potential victim. I would go further than Ryan and say: What kind of person facilitates and often takes delight in the emotional, psychological and often physical destruction of a vulnerable individual? Either THIS IS A MENTAL DISORDER or we need to take a serious look at ourselves as a race and stop deluding ourselves that we are civilised, and that we are any better than animals. And we need to stop believing in religions such as Christianity which teaches us that we have been created in the image of some benevolent being, and that we are a breed apart from the beasts we farm for food and keep as pets – this shows that we are no better than animals. Or if we have been created in such a being's image it is ONLY an image – for we lack the moral substance we are led to believe such a being possesses - even if they exist. As I and Cynthia Mathieu have pointed out – the problem does not lie in any ‘deficits’ of the victim because no sooner this victim leaves, does the bully finds another to abuse. I have seen it happen at school, at work and in my own family. I dealt with a similar theme in my post about women who enable sex abusers – such women do so because they believe that it protects them from the abuse themselves. With the Epstein case, the women who recruited others were granted a plea bargain – Not only did they NOT face criminal charges for sex trafficking, they didn’t have to be identified, and to this day we still do not know who they are (links blelow). https://lnkd.in/erkezgn9 https://lnkd.in/eYxi5z-d What message does this send? In many ways, this kind of behaviour holds a mirror up to us all. In my opinion, commentators are too generous when they give enablers the benefit of the doubt - portraying them simply as ‘cowards’, ‘ignorant’ or just ‘turning a blind eye’ to the bullying and abuse – and offering ‘education’ as a solution to their 'ignorance' or 'unwillingness' to 'recognise' or act on the abuse. These so called ‘bystanders’ and enablers need to have THEIR mental health questioned, else we have an uncomfortable truth to face up to as a race. ??

That's the most powerful yet most straightforward way to illustrate it.

Family Court System discussion about Mothers' and Fathers' organizations and which gender is more oppressed: "Could it be this division is planned to cause a fight against one another vs the real issue? " Absolutely, and unless we recognize it and unite against a common enemy, this fight will continue. Narcissists, regardless whether a father, mother, lawyer, psychologist, or a judge, will get its narcissistic supply and destroy anything in its pursuit of it and will reward anything that will bring it. The system, being infected by this virus itself, needs a narcissistic parent so it brings it its feed. The fight is elsewhere where most people think. Fragmenting mothers and fathers merely enables the game and is its purpose. People may think they are pushing back but they are merely enabling the game. We Have Had Enough. Let's UNITE.

Your abuser blamed you because it kept you quiet, and kept you from ever realising that they were making an active choice to harm you. It kept you feeling guilty, confused and wondering if it was all your fault. Your family blamed you because it’s easier than acknowledging, validating and supporting you through the reality of abuse and trauma. They get to keep their family facade up. They get to isolate you and problematise you. Your friends blamed you because they’ve convinced themselves that if it ever happened to them, they would leave the first time. They use defensive strategies to deny their own vulnerability and frame you as weak. Your religion blamed you because it’s patriarchal, and is built on thousands of years of male ownership and oppression of women and girls who are merely objects and items to own. Your community blamed you because it’s filled with abusers too, and many of them are actively abusing others, or are fellow victims of abuse who are at different stages of their own acknowledgement and for both groups - blaming you serves a purpose for them. No one has to look at themselves or their roles. Your doctor blamed you because it’s better and easier for them to see you as mentally ill or exaggerating or attention seeking than to safeguard you from a perpetrator of serious crime. Your criminal justice system blamed you because it’s upheld and built for abusers and criminals. It’s easier to find fault in you, than to serve real justice to millions of abusers that no one really knows how to stop. Your university blamed you because they’d rather destroy your life, than hold an abuser accountable and kick them off their precious course or sports team. Your teacher blamed you because it’s easier for them to see you as a tease or an attention seeker than to take adequate action against an abuser. Your employer blamed you because they would rather put their company reputation above your rights not to be abused or assaulted at work. Framing you as the issue means they don’t have to look at abusive cultures in their company. Victim blaming is life changing, and the subsequent self-blame that follows can be very destructive. The first and most powerful step, is to understand that their victim blaming was about THEM. Their response to what was done to you, was about THEM. Your abuser made an active choice to harm you, and everyone should have held them accountable. But their own issues and their own beliefs meant they found it easier to find the problem inside YOU. But you were NEVER to blame for being abused.

Most of us are quick to imagine ‘abuse’ from the lens of sexual abuse; in actual fact, I have seen that emotional abuse has crippled far more people than the former. Some of our biggest challenges are unseen or intangible for example; dealing with a low self-esteem or poor self-image. On a few occasions, I had worked with ‘abusive’ bosses some of them verbally abusive, others emotionally abusive. With several doses of gaslighting and mansplaining, or bosses who just found you intimidating. What I have found is that one too many times, these people were victims of abuse themselves and they never had the privilege to deal with the impact of same leading them on the path of insecurities and emotional disability. Sadly. The empowerment here is to ensure that the chain doesn’t continue, at least not with you??. This is for anyone who is hungry enough for an impactful life and humble enough to learn. @precious_eniayekan’s story is one worth sharing and definitely worth listening. Join us today to hear even deeper her strategies for rising above abuse, low self-esteem to unbreakable confidence and tremendous impact ?? #trauma #traumahealing #selfconfidence #abuse #impact #socialimpact #boldwithksa

Extract from a blog about the complexity of language when it comes to child sexual abuse. Survivor or Victim?’ “There are innate flaws and limitations to both words. Survivor suggests someone strong, heroic and lucky and victim brings to mind someone in a sad and sorry state; broken; unlucky. In reality, most people probably sit somewhere in between and fluctuate between the two. I know I do. In any given day I can feel strong in one moment and fed-up or self-pitying the next. It doesn’t mean I’m failing at being a survivor or that I’ll live in perpetual victimhood, it makes me human, with fluctuating emotions. People who have lived through abuse may fluctuate more than most. Many are living with triggers, simple events that can take the person back to the abuse. These triggers manifest themselves in different ways to different people. I’m in a really good place in my life but I still have moments where triggers get the better of me and times when social injustice gets me down – moments when I feel very much the victim, which of course is normal. I am a victim of a crime after all.” Continue reading here: https://lnkd.in/eFsbJSUe #TheFlyingChild #CSA

"If You See Something, Say Something" isn’t just a slogan—it’s a responsibility we all share, especially when it comes to abuse. Whether it happens in a home, at school, in a relationship, or online, abuse thrives in silence. Often, the signs are subtle—a change in behavior, unexplained injuries, or someone becoming isolated—but they matter. Speaking up can be uncomfortable, but staying silent allows the harm to continue. If you notice something off, trust your instincts. Your words can make a difference. You don't have to have all the answers or confront the abuser directly, but reaching out to the person who seems hurt or reporting the behavior to someone who can help could be a lifeline. Abuse is everyone's concern, and by speaking up, you could be the key to stopping the cycle. It's not about being a hero, it's about being human, taking action when someone is suffering, even if it's hard. Your voice matters. You can report sexual abuse, domestic violence, chid abuse, gender- based violence or FGM/C through CEAF website. Here ?? https://lnkd.in/dF7m6sFy #ceaforgng

Hi Community Another way of preventing sexual abuse by parents is to; Know the Warning Signs; Familiarize yourself with behavior inappropriate for their age. Let us make effort to read books, make research and stay current we are in a global world now where ignorance is not an excuse. Teach Assertiveness; Encourage children to be assertive in uncomfortable situations. Teach them to say "no," leave the situation, and tell a trusted adult if something feels wrong. Trust Your Instincts; when you ever feel uneasy about a person’s interaction with your child, trust your instincts. It’s better to be cautious than to ignore potential warning. This very important, it doesn't matter who the person is, it could even be family members, close family friends, religious members, neighbors. As long as you feel a pinch in your spirit then check it out... As parents let's not slack in our duties, let us always be alert and available. May God help us. #Sandratheactivist #Advocateagainstchildmolestation #themumsteacher #saynotosexualabuse Rahina Kogi-Enweliku

Perhaps your partner hit you when they were drunk and has since apologized, promising it will never happen again. Or maybe you found out that your partner used to stalk their ex but swears they’ve changed. Is there any way to tell if abusive behaviors will repeat themselves? The unfortunate truth is that domestic abuse doesn’t tend to be an isolated incident. It’s exceedingly rare that someone in a healthy relationship would hit their partner out of the blue and then never do it again, or use controlling behaviors on one partner but not the next. Abuse is a choice people make in order to wield power and control over another individual, and oftentimes this starts with nonphysical abuse, such as coercion, intimidation and emotional abuse, before escalating to violence. The difference between abuse and “just a bad argument” with a healthy partner is that abusers repeat their abusive behaviors again in the next fight, often escalating them, and typically don’t accept blame or show remorse. https://buff.ly/3quzSU1 #DomesticViolence #Abuse #DomesticAbuse

I read a article on Domestic Violence in The Hindu Magazine. A very simple yet informative article on how the victim fails to identify that they are being abused and how they hold themselves responsible for what is happening to them. Now how do you recognize domestic violence: Does your partner… Embarrass or ridicule you in front of friends or family? Undermine your achievements? Make you feel incapable of making your own decisions? Use intimidation or threats to get their way? Tell you that you are nothing without them? Treat you harshly—such as grabbing, pushing, pinching, shoving, or hitting? Call you multiple times a night or show up unexpectedly to check on you? Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for hurtful comments or abusive behavior? Blame you for their feelings or actions? Pressure you into sexual activities you’re not ready for? Make you feel trapped in the relationship? Prevent you from engaging in activities you enjoy, like spending time with friends or family? Try to stop you from leaving after an argument or leave you somewhere as a form of punishment? Do you… Sometimes feel afraid of how your partner might react? Frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to others? Believe that you can help your partner change if you just alter something about yourself? Avoid actions that might lead to conflict or anger from your partner? Always prioritize your partner’s desires over your own? Stay in the relationship out of fear of your partner’s reaction if you were to break up? If you identify with any of these situations in your relationship, it’s important to reach out to someone for support. Without intervention, the cycle of abuse is likely to continue. Taking that first step to seek help is a brave and significant action. Always Remember..no one deserves to be abused. The abuse is not your fault, and you are not alone. #Domesticviolence #domesticabuse #intimatepartnerviolence #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters