You Helped Prevent the Suicide, Now What? Entering the Post-Prevention Phase
Michael Curtis
I Teach Soft Skills That Get You Hired & Promoted – Design the UX of You – Sr. UX Designer @1800Contacts
It’s a lifelong, monumental effort.
The immediate crisis has?passed
The loved one who you feared might slip away is still here. It’s an incredible miracle. And amidst the relief, a profound question surfaces: Now what? The journey of healing and repair doesn’t conclude with prevention.
In many ways, you have a long road ahead.
Suicide prevention often focuses on recognizing warning signs and taking swift action to avert tragedy. And thank goodness for these tools and resources. I credit these programs, hospitals, medicines, open communication, and highly skilled doctors for helping to prevent my wife from leaving us in this tragic way.
Yet, the path that unfolds post-prevention is less charted, leaving many, like me, unprepared for the challenges ahead. This post-prevention phase is important?—?not just for the individual who struggled but also for those who stood vigil by their side.
The aftermath of a suicide attempt or suicidal hospitalization is a complex mess, both emotionally and practically. It’s an indefinite period often overshadowed by the crisis itself, yet it’s exactly what comes next in crisis recovery. It’s a phase you enter that will likely be with you for the rest of your life.
Let me explain this with a bit more vivid detail.
As a caution, I get into some heavy things next. As my coworker recently reminded our teams:
If you or someone you know is in a situation that requires help, call 9–8–8 or text TALK to 741741 and you’ll be connected to a local mental health professional. It’s free and it’s for people who are experiencing a mental health crisis or for people who are trying to support someone who is. If you aren’t sure if you should call, call.
Understanding the lingering impact
For my wife, the road to recovery didn’t end with the prevention of her suicide attempt. In many ways, it opened the door to an entirely new struggle. The realization (and hard acceptance) that her mind had reached such a dark and desperate place was frightening and overwhelming.
She grappled with the haunting memories of believing she would no longer be there for our children, already mourning the moments she’d miss in their lives. She mourned the thought of me having to raise our kids without her. These thoughts didn’t simply vanish after the crisis?—?they lingered and cast long shadows over her daily existence.
I can't even comprehend the heavy burden of coming to terms with the fact that she had been so certain of her impending absence.
It wasn’t just about moving past the immediate danger; it was about understanding and coping with the depths of her own despair. She often expressed feelings of guilt and confusion, questioning how she could have reached that point and fearing the possibility of returning there. This internal battle is an invisible weight she carries, one that requires patience, empathy, medicine, and professional guidance to navigate.
Recognizing that these lingering feelings are a normal part of the healing process was helpful for both of us. You can’t flip a switch and have them all go away. This realization allowed us to approach her recovery with compassion rather than frustration. Through therapy and open communication, she began to unpack these complex emotions, gradually rebuilding trust in herself and hope for the future.
I’d like to share what we’re learning in this post-prevention phase.
A compass for others navigating similar?waters
My wife’s struggles didn’t disappear the day she came home from the hospital. She didn’t get to come home because she was magically “cured”. She still grapples with feelings of guilt, shame, fear, and vulnerability.
Sometimes new medicines make it worse. Sometimes a topic in therapy sends her tumbling backwards in recovery. She convinced herself that our neighbors now look at her differently.
There’s no undo, rewind, go back, or start over. All we can do is move forward. And that’s what we’re determined to do. I hope that what we’re learning can serve as a compass to others to guide you through similar turbulent waters.
Step one.
So, step one for us was recognizing that prevention is an ongoing process. Simple point to make, but it has to be this way. This mindset shift helped us set realistic expectations and we moved our focus from crisis management to long-term wellness.
Step two.
We realized the importance of a nurturing environment where she felt safe to express her feelings without judgment. Open communication became our cornerstone. We schedule regular family “sit-downs”?—?not as formal interventions but as safe spaces to share thoughts and emotions.
Our children participate too, creating a safe, collective understanding and dismantling the stigma surrounding mental health in our household. There isn’t a night that goes by that we don’t all go around the room and say what we’re thankful for. Going on 5 years strong now, nearly never missing a day.
Step three.
Professional guidance is indispensable. I’m a smart guy and a pretty darn good husband (personal opinion haha) of nearly 20 years. But, I knew then and still know that I can’t do this alone. We coordinate her healing with therapists who specialize in post-crisis care.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT ), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR ), and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT ) are particularly effective. These therapies equip her with accessible, functional coping mechanisms to manage her emotions and provide us with strategies to support her without overstepping boundaries.
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Step four.
Reintroducing routine helped re-anchor her sense of normalcy. Simple activities like morning snuggles, shared meals, expressing gratitude, and much-needed naps contribute to a stable environment. We set small, achievable goals to rebuild confidence. We celebrate her minor victories?—?like a day without depressive episodes or a completed home project?—?to reinforce and show the positivity of life. And if you want to talk large goals too, she even wrote a book. ??
Step five.
Knowledge is empowering. We immerse ourselves in the content about mental health to better understand what she experienced. This education extends to our friends and extended family.
By encouraging a community/neighborhood informed about mental wellness, we reduce misunderstandings and gain a broader support network as a result. Such a broad network, in fact, that I have to maintain a Google Spreadsheet just to keep track of all the helpful people who have come to our aid.
Step six.
Self-care. Introducing “me time” practices makes a significant difference. Activities like prayer, exercise, eating right, taking a bubble bath, a quiet moment in the bedroom, and journaling provide her with time and tools to manage stress and anxiety. If she needs a break, she gets it. We practice some of these together, reinforcing our bond and mutual commitment to her healing.
I encourage her to pursue personal interests and hobbies. Taking on responsibilities helps rebuild her autonomy. Whether working part-time to make extra income, engaging in volunteer activities, helping friends with their challenges, sharing her story with people, or pursuing a new hobby, these steps are vital in restoring her sense of self and purpose.
Step seven.
Recovery isn’t linear. There are days when progress seems to unravel?—?moments of despair that echo the past. She still cries in the car on the way to get groceries. I still have sleepless nights when I remember what it felt like to almost lose my wife. And that’s okay. We’ve learned that memories and setbacks are not failures but opportunities to reassess and adjust our approach. I am not a failure. She is not a failure. Nor are you.
Step eight.
Don’t do it alone, if at all possible. Find someone. Heal with a loved one, friend, or group of others who support you. We set future-oriented goals, both individually and as a family. Planning vacations, discussing career aspirations, and envisioning our children’s futures instill hope and purpose. It reminds us that while the past informs the book of our life, it doesn’t dictate our destination or conclusion.
Step nine.
Sharing our story has become a therapeutic and empowering endeavor. Even writing articles such as these is healing. I encourage you to write about your struggles too. Talk about them. Open up. You could be the reason someone stays with us on this Earth.
We started participating in local mental health awareness campaigns and offering support to others. We open our home to struggling families. Contributing to a cause larger than ourselves adds meaningful context to our experience.
Now what?
As I look back on our experiences, one truth stands out: preventing suicide is not a single act but a continuous commitment to support, understand, and love. And it’s a hard-fought persevering love.
The “now what” phase, aka post-prevention, is a path laden with challenges, but it’s also filled with opportunities for deeper connections, growth, and unbreakable bonds with people you’ll never forget.
I mean that.
My wife is the strongest person I know. I will never leave her side through this.
We still have days when the shadows loom large, but they’re interspersed with moments of genuine joy and laughter in our home. Our children have grown more empathetic and resilient, understanding that strength often lies in vulnerability. I hope they take these lessons into adulthood and find strength in what they saw their parents endure.
To anyone standing at the precipice of the “now what” phase, I offer you my strength and encouragement to keep up the good fight. I might not know you directly, but I can connect with your heart in unspeakable ways. Reach out, seek support, and take it one day at a time. The road ahead may be long, but with patience, compassion, and perseverance, healing is attainable in this life.
Life’s most profound struggles can lead to its most meaningful victories.
I’ll leave you with this touching quote from Helen Keller and a couple of extra resources.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of?it.”
Helpful resources
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Thanks for reading. This article was originally published on Medium .