Psychologist. Harvard Medical School. TED Speaker. Author of the #1 WSJ bestseller Emotional Agility. Co-Founder of Institute of Coaching.
Sometimes, “Let it go” can become “Hold it lightly,” and when that happens, the heart expands. Even if you can’t let go today, see if you can hold lightly—take a big step back, find a new perspective, or acknowledge that you can’t control everything about a situation.
This really resonates. I’ve definitely had moments where I’ve tried to force clarity, overthinking, gripping too tightly, feeling stuck. But the times I’ve made the best decisions? When I stepped back and held things lightly. Not everything needs to be solved right away. Sometimes, just creating space, for perspective, for new possibilities, for acceptance, makes all the difference.
This right here. Profound. . Spot on. . And so difficult, for me and my neurodivergent brain. . LOTS of work involved in loosen the grip. . Possible, yes. Work, hell yes. . It’s deep, it’s supported, it’s not linear and it’s so hard and so rewarding; it’s consistently, inconsistent and requires SO much grace. . Go lightly. Loosen up. Don’t do it alone.
So true, less than easy and definitely worthwhile persuing ?? I can think of examples of when I've managed it and when I haven't. For those that have the desire to 'control' the external, avoid change, who have obssessive tendencies - the challenge can feel enormous. I've recently seen my eldest daughter practice this with her CBT and she's done remarkably well and its an experience that we've shared to a degree. Therefore, I suggest we find a 'lightly buddy', someone who understands without judgement, whether thats a trusted friend or a professional independent person/therapist of some description. For me, that sounds helpful ??????
In a recent call the ‘oven gloves’ metaphor came up. Sometimes emotions can feel too hot to handle directly. A oven gloves creates a little buffer where you can still feel the heat and the weight of what you’re holding but when you’re done, you don’t leave with any scars.
I like the reframe of holding lightly. I’ve always leaned toward relating to rather than letting go. I find it bridges resistance and acceptance, making room for both compassion and curiosity to unfold.
This is equanimity. For me, this is the path to peace. "Letting it go" can often mean ignoring that I care about...equanimity allows me to hold it lightly with love and compassion (for me and the situation).
Beautifully said. Holding something lightly creates space for clarity, growth, and even unexpected solutions. Sometimes, it’s not about letting go, it’s about loosening the grip and allowing life to unfold. ??
Many times we might shame ourselves for not letting go of something. Holding something one cares about lightly allows some distance for perspective and grace for the process of releasing.
Holding lightly also welcomes all parts of the experience. A willingness to be present to possibilities. ??
Resistance Buster | I help founders bridge the gap between knowing and doing—so they stop overthinking, start executing, and finally enjoy the success they’ve built | Believer in doing less dumb sh*t
3 天前?I do believe a lot of people have the “letting go” practice wrong. They think that letting go is surgically removing those negative emotions from you, but in reality, letting go is embracing those emotions. Letting them sit with you so you’re no longer holding on to them internally. They’re no longer wrapped around you emotionally, and you’re just letting them go internally. They’re still always going to be there. You can’t surgically remove the bad times, the bad memories, and the bad things from your life, but you can embrace them and take lessons from them.