Inside Out Look At Mental Health Recovery

Twice, after a significant life event, the much anticipated birth of a child, I suffered from severe postnatal depression.? Twice, thankfully and with much help and support, I fully recovered.??

People with the best intent would say “But you don’t look sad”, I wasn’t but I cried a lot.? Some would talk to me like I had a lower IQ, I could still think, just not always clearly.? Others avoided me, I get that. If you’ve never experienced mental unwellness, it’s hard to know how to act.

Going from a seemingly capable, highly productive individual, working hard to contribute to society, to an overwhelmed, emotional and fearful and needy person was the unwelcomed side effect of a traumatic birth (times two).? The depression onset took a few days but it was severe and hugely impacted everyone around me. With incredible support and care I resumed everyday work, life and play with healthy children in tow, and a much greater empathy for those enduring mental illness themselves.?

From my own experience, here’s some thoughts:

If you have a colleague or friend who you suspect is struggling with mental wellbeing, in the most appropriate way you can, encourage them to seek the right help and be honest when getting assessed.? It won’t just go away and the impact isn’t just on their personal life, it will impact their work, their family and their friendships. It may take time to get the suitable help, don’t just try once. There are several links below with expert advice on getting help, your GP (Family Dr) is always a great place to start.?

Engage with them as a normal adult but unfortunately, don’t always expect a normal adult response, sorry about that. Overwhelm can come on suddenly and the usual rational responses may become irrational.? In my situation it took so much energy to respond calmly and kindly to people, when on the inside I was feeling extremely panicked and irritable for no apparent reason.??

Definitely don’t lower your voice and whisper behind their back, they can still hear you.? Depression doesn’t affect your hearing, it does affect your sensitivity.? You may be better to approach the subject head on and ask them how they really are doing right now.??

Sometimes they get fixated on a problem and need to talk it over, repeatedly.? If you have the opportunity to listen, don’t dismiss their fears, do listen and encourage them in their wellbeing progress, give them some hope and listen some more. As always, if someone appears dark or suicidal in their thoughts, please seek immediate help.

Being in environments they can’t control can be overwhelming, such as social events or group meetings.? Depression can severely affect sleep, appetite, energy levels and sensitivity.? If they don’t accept your social invitation, keep casually inviting them anyway.? Smaller events with less people can be easier for them to participate in. They may also appreciate someone accompanying them to places like the supermarket or appointments.?

I met up with a friend who recently recovered from a severe case of postnatal depression. Her first words were “I’m back and I’m so glad!”? She was back and I was thrilled for her!? It takes huge effort to recover but, like many others, she did it.??

New Zealand Mental Health Helplines:

Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.

Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP).

Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO).

Healthline – 0800 611 116

Samaritans – 0800 726 666?

Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 (to talk to a trained counsellor about how you are feeling or to ask any questions).

www.depression.org.nz – includes The Journal online help service.

SPARX.org.nz –? online e-therapy tool provided by the University of Auckland that helps young people learn skills to deal with feeling down, depressed or stressed.

Postnatal Depression Help:

• Plunket (0800 933 922)
• Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand
• Postnatal Distress Support Network Trust
• Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa