Whenever Dave Stachowiak is helping someone prepare for an upcoming, difficult conversation, he often hears this: “I just don't trust them.” Charles Feltman invites us to think about trust a bit differently. Instead of framing trust as a binary, he suggests that we examine trust through four assessment domains: care, sincerity, reliability, and competence. By doing this, we can better identify our concerns, communicate them, and make a specific request for the other person to shift their behavior. On this week's Coaching for Leaders podcast episode, Charles and Dave explored these four domains, featuring in his newly revised classic: The Thin Book of Trust (3rd edition). When preparing for a conversation, Charles invites us to follow these seven steps: 1. Identify the assessment(s) you are concerned with: care, sincerity, reliability, and/or competence. 2. Define the standard you are using. 3. Identify the specific actions or behaviors that have led to your assessment of distrust. 4. Consider what you are doing that may be contributing to the situation. 5. Determine what you need from them in order for them to regain your trust. 6. Decide if you are willing to talk to the person about it. 7. Ask the other person if they would be willing to have a conversation with you. The full audio, transcript, and notes are linked in the comments. Your turn --> What did Charles share that was helpful for you? Comment below. #leadership #management
Related listening highlighted at the end of this episode: How to Handle Pushback From Difficult Askers, with Vanessa Patrick (episode 637) https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/handle-pushback-from-difficult-askers-vanessa-patrick/ How to Help Difficult Conversations Go Better, with Sheila Heen (episode 655) https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/difficult-conversations-go-better-sheila-heen/ How to Change People’s Minds, with Michael McQueen (episode 676) https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/change-peoples-minds-michael-mcqueen/
Very insightful. Great tool to think of trust in terms of these 4 categories and as starting point to address the trust gap. Thanks!
Not treating trust as a binary - something that’s really got me thinking. Thank you Charles Feltman and Dave Stachowiak.
Full audio, transcript, and notes: https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/conversation-with-someone-you-dont-trust-charles-feltman/