Turn your conversations into a dance

- We tend to think of questions and answers as a transfer of information from one person to another, but we should think of it as a dance, with two people taking turns moving back and forth. Because if one person just keeps moving forward, the other person ends up with their back against the wall. This same applies to asking and answering questions. If you ask all the questions, you make it hard for a conversation partner to share what's on their mind. They can react to what you think is important, but they cannot proactively share their own concerns, and vice versa. If you always respond, you have a responsibility to flip the script. By starting to ask questions, you can take your conversations and collaboration to new heights. Here's how. First, ask yourself who made the first move. If it was you, you must now take a step to the side. Don't ask another question until you have made it possible for your partner to take the conversation in a different direction. Then, take a moment to listen to the music. Does the situation call for slow dancing or salsa? Should the conversation bring you closer to each other or help you reach new goals? Finally, trust your partner. You can plan and think through all your moves, but in the end, all that matters is how willing you and your partner are to move together. Like dancing, good conversations are constant shifting of positions, seeing the same things from different perspectives, and directing different perspectives at the same things.