Ditch achievements, money, and status

- Success is an intoxicating driver. It tells us from the time we're really young, that if we have more achievements and more money, and more status in society, then we'll be happy. And somewhere we all started actually believing that. So the chase became real, to acquire more, to do more, to have more, whether that's well, job titles, followers, or influence, it's been served up like some sort of antidote to life's biggest questions. But I want you to think back. I want you to think about a time where you achieved a really big goal. Maybe you finally got a job you always wanted, or maybe you met the person of your dreams, or maybe you bought a house or won an award. You have it, okay? Well now I want you to think about six months after accomplishing that, was your life all of a sudden exempt from worries or stress or fear? Were you suddenly completely fulfilled? My guess is, you are shaking your head right about now, because trust me, I feel you. Whether it was landing a big gig, or speaking at a conference of my dreams, or even finally publishing my own book, which was a lifelong dream. I wasn't magically filled with meaning just because those things happened. Actually for me, it was quite the opposite. Because many times the bottom will fall out on those goals. And for me, I was left feeling alone and sort of empty and very much like, well, now what? If you have experienced a similar feeling, it turns out this is very common. When it comes to money after a specific threshold $75,000 to be exact money stops having quite the same return on your subjective wellbeing. And when it comes to reaching our goals, this is something that Harvard psychologists tell Ben Shahar calls the arrival fallacy. Essentially,. it's just the term to describe our belief, that when we reach a certain milestone achievement or goal that it'll lead to sustained happiness. Turns out it won't. So the solution you might be wondering, 'cause I know that I was. Well, according to Ben Shahar, it's to focus on the process of attainment, not the outcomes. So process instead of outcome. For example, for me, that would mean focusing on the feeling of flow while I'm writing a book, instead of focusing on hitting a New York times bestseller list. For you, that might mean enjoying the collaborative brainstorm, instead of worrying about the accolades that your big ideas might get. Figure out what is enjoyable about the path instead of obsessing over where it ends up. It's hard to have less attachment to achievement and outcome. I've been doing this work a long time, and I still need the reminder to stay in the moment and to not just always live for the achievement. However, if you can right now think about what you're yearning for, and name the most enjoyable parts of that process, and consciously choose to focus on that while you're doing it, you'll be on your way to feeling more content. It's time that you stop believing that you'll be happy when? And make a choice to lean into satisfaction right now, like actually, right now.