The Side Alleys of Life

Today it is Sunday.

I woke up at eight o'clock and did my favourite 5-minute meditation while I was waking up - it has to do with setting the tone for the day ahead. It doesn't have to be a specific technique but it does have to do with stopping to set your centre by choosing an emotion you want to make as the base for your day, before you start meeting the challenges of each day.

It was a wintery, cold, rainy and very windy Sunday morning, one of those which put you in a peaceful and meditative mode - one of those moods that make you want to observe the tree branches blowing in the wind while you are drinking your coffee; one of those moods that put your mind in a softly thinking, moment-steering, feeling-grasping frame of mind.

My family was still sleeping. Winter is a good time for bears to hibernate...

I was tip-toeing around the house tidying a few things as I was organising my thoughts and I decided to listen to one of those YouTube motivational speakers with my headphones. The night before I had saved a playlist in my YouTube library, hoping for something new in the field of personal development.

Although I wasn't shocked by the information I heard, as he was talking, I could picture in my mind how he shaped his destiny by the choices he made, the motivation he summoned according to the pain he felt earlier in his life and the way he shaped his mind as he followed forward in terms of attitude, processes, habits and in general, his philosophy of life.

When I listen to motivational speakers or "gurus" of sorts in YouTube, I divide them into two categories: those who really "speak my language" and those who touch me for a specific moment in a specific subject but then, I feel that I get saturated. It is as if once I learn a core message that I needed to hear from them, I move on.

I could describe the feeling as when you meet someone for the first time and a relationship is formed with this person - he or she may become a colleague for a period of time or in some very special occasions, a friend for life.

In the first case, you help each other at a moment and time in life and in the second one, you hold hands and walk together throughout life's highs and lows.

As I heard him talk, one thing stood out: he was thinking big, his motivation was big, his game was big and he surrounded himself with big players.

That is great, and many people want that.

But as I was listening I started to feel uncomfortable and I didn't know why. This is not the first time that this happens - I start listening to someone thinking that I am going to get all the answers to all my questions, and then a few days later I no longer have an interest.

It is as if something falls of the side - our paths disconnect, our frequencies no longer in synch, the resonance goes.

In the past, I used to feel bad - I used to feel that I wasn't up to it or that I wasn't good enough. I felt that something was wrong with me or something was missing in me since I couldn't follow that apparently desirable path.

But today, I was able to let it go. I took what was of value for me and I realized that the rest of the videos in my playlist were more or less about the same subject so I just deleted them and ticked him off my listening list.

It was clean, it was neat. There was no judgment and not blaming. It was so nice!

And it just hit me: sometimes you meet someone who thinks big and is already there, for whatever the reason, and you may not think so big and are not there yet, for whatever the reason, nor may want to be there at this moment, or nor may want to be there at all!

Because you are not ready to make that big leap and you are happy and contented with giving one smaller step instead. A single step that will bring you closer to your maybe not so grandiose dream, but your worthwhile dream nevertheless.

And I realised that life is not always about going through the main road heading all blockages and challenges head-on but that it sometimes takes you through the side alleys: those smaller, quieter, simpler, less scary pathways that will eventually take you there but which do not hit you head-on against your current resistance.

Your resistance is your level of fear. Your resistance is your (in)ability to tune into your bigger dream, your higher potential, your bigger life. 

Your resistance is the Gamma or Delta brain vibration - the one that is alert, the one that has to be in control of everything around you, the one that can't access your subconscious mind or your powerhouse to make things happen or to bring things to you.

And as you soften that resistance and relax, you tap into your Alpha or Theta brain waves - these slower waves allow you to engage in your mind with your dreams in a more "visual" fashion, it allows you to safely play the games that you came here to play in the first place. In this space, you can see the colours and feel the feelings, you can touch and taste that "virtual life" in a "real" way. You activate the Las of Attraction if you daydream long enough and you can instil a bigger momentum into your life towards the manifestation of your dreams.

And you will see the successes that take place as a result.

So once I realized that although I have been walking by the side alleys of my life instead of the main road for a very long time, I was able to relax into the rhythm at which I am moving forward. I could accept happily that even if I am moving slower than I think I should, I am still moving towards my dreams and when I look back, I had made huge progress.

Is it taking me longer to get there? Maybe!

And if I pushed myself to go faster, maybe I would retract or get stuck by forcing myself to do something that I just couldn't - and then I would not even be here right now.

If I pushed myself beyond where I could go, I would definitely not be able to savour all my little successes as if they were the biggest achievements in the history of humanity - because that's how I feel every time I break through resistance or a fear of mine. And even if I am not seen in the big world scene, my influence on those around me is not any smaller in power and intensity, although it may be smaller in numbers...

And as I am becoming proficient in walking by the side alleys of my life, the Universe will cooperate with me and will bring me face to face with my destiny anyway, because what really counts is never to give up and to always keep going.

By Dr Ana Garcia PhD

August 2020