Here's how you can give your colleagues specific, actionable, and helpful feedback.

Clearly describe the behavior or action that you are addressing. Avoid vague comments. Example: "During yesterday's meeting, I observed that you interrupted others a few times while they were speaking."

Before providing feedback, take the time to observe your colleague's behavior, actions, or performance closely. Gather relevant information and examples that support your feedback. Be specific about what you observed and how it relates to the feedback you intend to give. By grounding your feedback in concrete observations, you provide clarity and context for your colleague to understand and act upon

Provide feedback in a timely manner, ideally soon after the observed behavior or action occurred. Timely feedback allows your colleague to address any issues promptly and make necessary adjustments. Avoid waiting too long to deliver feedback, as it may lose its relevance or impact over time. By providing timely feedback, you demonstrate your commitment to supporting your colleague's growth and development in real-time.

You know what you want to say. You know what you need to say. Letting feedback linger damages the trusting connection you have with others, the efficiency for the project and the much larger immeasurable value of wasting an opportunity to create good culture, and worse, creating the inverse. I prefer async feedback, one-on-one. That way, the person receiving the feedback can sit with it and allow it to absorb with an open mind, not worrying about hiding their flushing cheeks and discomfort. If you've established a culture of API--Assume Positive Intent--people know your feedback comes from a place of love and betterment. They know you're investing in them, in their future, and want them around. Practice receiving timely feedback too.

Frame your feedback in terms of opportunities for growth and improvement rather than criticism or judgment. Adopt a growth mindset, emphasizing the potential for learning and development in every situation. Highlight specific areas where your colleague has shown progress or potential, as well as areas where they could benefit from further development. By focusing on growth, you inspire your colleague to approach feedback as an opportunity for self-improvement and advancement.

If it's always about 'THE WORK', then it's easier to NOT take the critique personally. Yes, you created the work, but unless you're an artist creating art for art's sake, your work has a duty, likely to be integrated into a larger goal. Its puzzle piece needs to fit into the greater picture of the puzzle, and therefore may need to be modified with feedback and molding. When it's about the work, "you" doesn't even need to show up in the context of the feedback. It's not about the person, unless someone made a grave mistake and tried to hide it--but that's a different issue. Stick to facts. Use first principles to get at the root of a problem, and if time allows, give people the grace and pride to figure the solution out themselves.

When delivering feedback, be mindful of the language you use to avoid sounding accusatory or confrontational. Use "I" statements to express your observations, feelings, and perspectives, rather than placing blame or making assumptions about your colleague's intentions. For example, instead of saying, "You always miss deadlines," you could say, "I noticed that the deadline for the project was missed." This approach allows you to communicate your feedback in a non-threatening and constructive manner.

In addition to providing feedback, offer your colleague support and resources to help them address any areas for improvement. Collaborate with them to identify specific actions or strategies they can take to enhance their performance or achieve their goals. Provide constructive guidance, mentorship, or training opportunities to support their growth and development. By offering support, you demonstrate your commitment to helping your colleague succeed and thrive in their role.

Let them know you're there to help them improve. Example: "I'm here to support you. We can practice active listening techniques together if you'd like."

Follow up with your colleague after providing feedback to check on their progress and offer additional support or guidance as needed. Acknowledge any positive changes or improvements they have made based on your feedback, and continue to encourage their ongoing growth and development. Be open to revisiting the feedback discussion if necessary, allowing your colleague to ask questions or seek clarification on any points raised. By following up, you reinforce your commitment to their success and maintain open lines of communication for future feedback discussions.

Offer to follow up to check their progress and provide support if needed. Example: "Let's touch base next week to see how things are going and talk about any challenges you might have."