Making Our Dual-Career Family Work

I’m CEO of a Fortune 500 company, but this is my second most important job. For nearly 30 years, in three different countries and with three kids, my wife and I have always put our jobs as parents first—while still finding ways to make both our careers work.

It’s never been easy, as every dual-career family knows.

When it comes to who in our household has to get out the door in the morning, I’m a clear No. 2. My wife Chris is an ER pediatrician at a children’s hospital. If I’m late to the office, it means a meeting gets rescheduled. If she’s not at work, it means sick kids won’t see a doctor.

More and more families live with these challenges. Six out of every 10 married couples with kids in the U.S. have both parents working jobs outside the home, according to the Census Bureau. The percentage of dual-career families has also been rising in Japan and in many European countries.

Here are a few things we’ve found helpful over the years:

• It Takes Two. Dual-career families will always struggle if one parent shoulders both full-time work and most the duties of cooking, shopping, cleaning, transporting kids and helping with homework. A dual-career family, to succeed, must always be a 50-50 joint venture.
• Scheduling. I can’t tell you how much time my wife and I spend on scheduling. We have a weekly meeting on Sunday afternoons to make sure we know what’s coming and know which of us will be home with the kids.

Case in point: We participate in a carpool for our middle school son. One time it was my turn to drive, so I had to reschedule a call with the Lilly board of directors. And just last week, my wife had to be at the hospital early. So I made lunches and took phone calls at home, to make sure one of us was with our son until his ride arrived.

• Technology. If Apple’s iCal didn’t exist, we wouldn’t last half a day. Between my schedule, my wife’s schedule and the kids’ school commitments, it’s too much to track without digital tools. Before, we patched things together with a sticky notes, text messages and phone calls, but there were always gaps.
• Understanding and Laughter. Even with the best planning and the best tools, mistakes still happen. Replacing blame toward your spouse or kids with a heavy dose of empathy will go a long way. And chuckling at the mix-ups that inevitably happen is the best remedy for the stress and frustration.

Those mix-ups can also be less stressful with family-friendly employers—when they have flexible work environments and policies. While it’s easy for me as the CEO to move meetings or ask people to call me, that wasn’t always true. And it’s a luxury few workers have.

Lilly has tried to make our work environment as flexible as possible, with technology tools that make it easy for people to call in to meetings remotely and handle e-mail and meeting prep from home. We have on-site day care for parents and generous paid-time off policies. But we know we can do more.

Beginning in January, Lilly will significantly expand our U.S. parental leave to provide equal benefits for those who welcome a child to their family. All new parents will receive 10 weeks of fully paid parental leave, and birth mothers will have eight weeks of paid leave for physical recovery, for a total of 18 paid weeks. In addition, all new parents may take 10 weeks of unpaid leave.

There is plenty of data to support making a change like this. Research shows the length of parental leave impacts the health of parents and the child. At Lilly, we believe that the well-being of our employees—and those they go home to each day—is foundational to our purpose to create medicines that make life better for people around the world.

Balancing career and family will always take hard work. But in my experience, it’s worth the effort—for both families and employers.