How to be more social on Social Media

I've been more active on social media in the last year than I have been since my time at University. In between these years I slowly regressed into a social media hermit that would rarely interact with others and only respond when someone reached out to me. It had similarities on how my own social life dwindled at the time.

Social media is a tool. I see it as something that is neither inherently good, nor bad. It can help connect us to people we would never speak to otherwise and help us keep in touch with people we've known for a long time but no longer see on a daily basis. It also has a darker side, which can lead us to addiction, and constantly comparing ourselves to idealised versions of others.

If we see social media as a tool, it makes it easier to understand that we can use it in a way that makes us take advantages of it rather than suffer the negatives. However, this requires a level of intention in how we use it, rather than falling into a negative pattern that I believe many of us do.

So how did I make using social media a lot more fun?

I. Start having more conversations with people.

Many of us move into lurker mode. It is the same as sitting at the side of the party, quietly listening to everyone else have a conversation. We don't interact with people unless they interact with us, but considering we never say anything, there is no reason that they would speak to us anyway. Instead, we end up spending a long time just following other people and seeing what they're talking about. This experience actually makes us feel more lonely than social.

To break this cycle, you can simply reply to more people's posts, and put out more posts yourself. You can perhaps reach out to people in messenger if you want to start a conversation. It might feel a bit scary, but it's no different to approaching someone in real life for the first time. Sometimes it won't work, but many times it will. If you feel like you don't have many people to speak to, this could be the way to have more.

II. Curate your own social media feed

Social media feeds can quickly get out of control. When we don't interact with anyone or anything, the algorithm guesses what we might like or not like. This means we get a weird assortment of things on our news feed which we don't really want to see. But we can be a lot more active. If we don't like the content of someone or something, we can simply unfollow them. The more we comment on the things we do like, the more we will see them. As such, if you're commenting on something you don't actually want to see more of to be polite, you're telling the algorithm to show you more of it. So instead, be really clear of what sort of content you want to see. If you're tired of influencer-style posts or want to see more dogs on instagram, change the accounts you follow and you will get more of the content you'd like. It made a real difference once I did a curation of my news feed, now I get a much more interesting, mix of posts.

III. Be clear on what you want to use social media for

It's important to be clear as to why you're using social media. If you spend hours ambling around because you're bored, you're not likely to get a whole lot out of the platform. If you want to use LinkedIn to connect with more people in your profession, that makes it a lot clearer of what you want to do. So you can act accordingly - reaching out to find people who might be similar to you. If you want to simply meet more people, you can start a conversation with them. If you're deliberate in what you're using the platform for, you'll find you'll enjoy it much more

IV. Don't worry about the likes and other vanity metrics

We are no longer at school trying to win a popularity contest. If you're looking to have meaningful interactions with people, then it doesn't actually matter if you get no likes or one thousand. Often the posts that have deeper meaning or a more subtle message are less popular, but lead to people thinking more deeply. I find that it's the ones that react to these posts who you can have a really interesting conversation with. There's certainly a space for wider-appeal posts that attract more people to interact with you, but if you only focus on the numbers rather than the genuine relationship you're building, it can become a very joyless game. The numbers ultimately odn't matter that much. People don't count how many friends they have in real life.

V. Put healthy limits around how you're using social media

Like anything, social media is best used in moderation. One of the big downside of social media is that it can be addictive. As such, it can quickly be a place to fill a void of boredom or loneliness. How often do you check your phone when an ad is playing? I had to deliberately move my phone away from me to stop me checking my phone so many times in the day. It can also be something we turn to when we're feeling low, which can inevitably lead us to comparing ourselves to those who are doing much better through the lens of social media. It's no wonder that this can lead to a lot of mental health issues. You'll usually know you're overdoing it if you feel tired or anxious, so if that's the case, it may be time for a detox.

So that's how I've shifted my use of social media. How about you? What did you take from this article, I'd love to hear from you, drop me a comment below!