Doctor, Don’t Hurt Me: What Patients Fear About Healthcare

At the primary care clinic I worked at years ago, we always weighed every patient. Patients hated being weighed. Many times I was told, “Don’t weigh me; I already feel fat…” Patients used to tell me that they did not understand why (in addition to being weighed) we asked about their drinking and smoking habits if we were not going to do anything about it. And they wondered aloud why we bothered with those questions but never asked them about their anxiety regarding their upcoming surgery or delivery.

In all my years in healthcare, I have yet to meet a patient who does not have a concern when they are at the doctor’s office (‘What if they find something….”), in the hospital  (“What if they give me the wrong medicine?”), or about getting something ‘done’ to them—whether that’s getting a simple blood test (“What if they mix-up my blood with someone else’s?”) or something more complex such as a knee replacement (“What if they operate on the wrong leg?”).

Even patients who feel confident in their medical team worry. Last week I heard a patient voice that she didn’t want to be in the hospital (she had pneumonia) because her mom ‘was killed in one’ when she was 12 years old.

So many patients have told me their worries and concerns over the years and yet, we hardly ever talk about the fact that patients worry--that patients fear going to see the doctor or being in the hospital.

As doctors and nurses (and other members of the clinical team) it is important to keep in mind that every single patient—and their families—worry and are fearful. Rightly so too. Healthcare is riddled with errors, sloppiness, rudeness and low cultures of safety, even with the significant advances made in all these areas.

Patient’s fear being sick, being vulnerable. Over the years patients have shared with me their concerns, anxieties, fears and doubts:

“I don’t want to tell you that sometimes I forget to take my medicine because you’ll scold me and then write in my chart, ‘non-compliant,’ so why should I tell you the truth?

And even though you are asking me—the patient—to share my most personal information with you—the doctor/nurse—I’m embarrassed…

And it doesn’t help that I’m half naked in some room while you are standing up, obviously rushed and clearly not really interested.

And even though I’ve got lots of worries about what I should or should not eat, or whether or not I should be feeling tingling in my hands or, whether I should take my medicine in the morning or at night, I’m not going to ask you…You are busy and I should not be wasting Your time.

And if I tell you the truth, you’ll just judge me…So I’ll stay quiet.

Really what I want to say to you is that I’m scared. And that I hate being here—half dressed at this doctor’s office. I mean, let’s be honest: the only reason I’m here, in front of you Doctor, is because somethings broke in me.”

Health care professionals rarely admit what we know to be true: sick people are forced to trust. When people become sick and ‘turn into’ patients, they are forced to trust those of us in healthcare.

Doctors and nurses are the only ones that can help the truly sick person. Which means those of us in healthcare have loftier responsibilities than others who work outside of Healthcare. And because of this burden, we must be more attentive, more focused, more dignified and more culturally aware than those in other professions.  

As each doctor, nurse, pharmacist, technologist, registration clerk goes about their day tomorrow (and the next) think about fear. Know that fear and worry is all around you and your job is to help your patients shed that fear by replacing it with kindness, dignity, respect and listening.

For these ingredients-kindness, dignity, respect and listening—make up the healing potion to cure fear and worry.

About the author: Recognized by LinkedIn as a "Top Voice" in Health Care in 2015 & 2106, & 2107. Julie Kliger is a Healthcare Realist who is passionate about improving health care and improving lives. She is a consultant, speaker and author. She specializes in future-oriented healthcare redesign, implementing new care models and strategic change management.