Quy Langridge-Tien ?的动态

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Quy Langridge-Tien ?

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~ When you're the villain ~ (How being a heartless **** taught me compassion) It's spring 1997 in Manchester and I'm preparing to join the adult world of salaried employment. First I must overcome 3 challenges in order to graduate from 4 years of Business Studies with French. No hydras to slay nor stables to clean. Much worse. 1. Exams. Lots thereof. 2. A 10,000 word dissertation. 3. A group project. For the third task we're put into random pods of 5. I'm in the office of our project tutor with 3 of my group. We're here to discuss the 5th member and we're not happy. Let's call him "Andy." Andy hasn't been showing up. Not once in several weeks and zero contact. Everyone's frazzled already from revision and writing our dissertations. We're furious with him for increasing our burden. We vent and Paul the tutor listens patiently. No-one expects his reply. Paul explains that one of Andy's housemates has gone off the rails. There's been all sorts of drama, the police called more than once. Andy and his other housemates often had to lock themselves in their bedrooms, fearing for their safety. "You can share your marks or exclude him," says Paul. "No!" I blurt out immediately. No effin way is he freeloading on the back of our hard work. "He's not been there. He didn't tell us. That's on him." Paul smiles dryly. "You'll make a great CEO," he says. Amidst the red mist of righteous anger, I'm secretly pleased he's seen my potential. Of course I want to be CEO one day. It's years before I realise it's not a compliment. I don't know what became of Andy. I don't know what effect our decision had on his grades or his life. I do know that when the penny dropped I squirmed in my seat for a long while. I still do whenever I think of it. Everyone's the hero of their story. It's uncomfortable to realise that you were the villain of someone else's. So what if he hadn't contributed? It would have made no difference to our grades to show a little grace and compassion. It would have meant much to him in his time of darkness. “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” - Father James Keller I don't share Father Keller's faith, but I do share that sentiment. Now I do anyway. It came too late for Andy. I've been complimented on many occasions since for being a caring person. My immediate response is to credit it to my mother, a wonderful soul who always has time for others, even complete strangers. The truth is that it took the learning from this episode, many years later, to fully awaken the realisation we're all fighting our own demons. What if we helped each other, unbidden, along this difficult journey of Life? Andy, wherever you are... I'm sorry. PS. The pic is a surprise party for my 21st birthday during our exchange year at Clermont Ferrand. You think you're so grown up at 21.

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