It’s been almost 16 years (yikes) since I strapped my newborn into his car seat and sat next to him with my hand on his belly, somehow believing he would be better protected in the event of an impact. I remember insisting that his father drive slower than the speed limit which is…ahem…uncharacteristic of me.
For many years prior, I wasn’t sure if having kids would be in my future. I didn’t feel born with that natural maternal desire that said I had to be a mother - until suddenly I did. It may have been that all my friends were doing it, or perhaps it was the proverbial ticking clock, but I suddenly felt called to parenthood – having absolutely no clue exactly what that meant.
I felt woefully unprepared to be in charge of another full human so I did all of the things – I bought the books (anyone remember What to Expect When Expecting?), I signed up for the classes, I made sure to buy every safe gadget possible. I talked to friends and other mothers who had been through it for the first, second, or even fifth time.
As terrified as I was – having all of those resources was comforting. It gave me even just a bit of confidence to know that I was doing all I could to learn all I could so that this new human would be in good hands.
I recently read a Forbes article stat that really stuck with me: 82% of managers are “accidental” managers - promoted into leadership roles without formal training.
That’s like handing someone a baby and saying, “You’ll figure it out!” No instructions, no support system, just…good luck.
There absolutely are people who will figure it out successfully, but far more likely, others will be overwhelmed at best and fail miserably at worst.
Becoming a manager for the first time is a lot like becoming a parent for the first time.
At first, it feels exciting - like a big milestone. Then reality hits. Suddenly, you’re responsible for people looking to you for guidance, support, and having the answers, but there’s no manual to tell you what to do when you start losing sleep at night (because many managers do!).
Is it really fair to expect someone to thrive without the tools they need?
Leadership isn’t something you’re born knowing how to do. It’s a skill that needs to be taught, practiced, and nurtured. Just like new parents need advice, resources, and a village - new managers need training, mentorship, and a safe space to grow.
We NEED to do so much better.
Great leadership doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built with intention, effort, and a lot of learning.
My next chapter of parenthood is going to look a lot like strapping into my seat as tightly as I can and insisting my son drive slower than the speed limit.
Until that time, I am drawing comfort from others who assure me it’s normal to be worried and unsure, but we will get through it.
Feel free to share your “accidental manager” stories in the comments. I’m sure we all have plenty in common in this area.
#leadership
#leadershipdevelopment
#leadrite